Now I remember why I disliked rec ball

[SoCalDad]

As I have posted in other threads on this forum my DD has rejoined her rec league after playing on a travel team for the past 6 months. She rejoined in order to play one last time with her friends on the tournament team before they age out to high school ball next year. Prior to the start of the rec season I made an agreement with the league and coaches that my DD would join the last place team in her division when she rejoined on 4/1 (just for the record I paid the full rec fees even though she would only play in about half the games). Yesterday was our first rec game since we had spring break last week. The team we joined is 0-6 and has lost all of their games by an average of 8 runs. My DD made a deal with her coach to limit her to 2 innings so the other pitchers on the team would continue to have inning opportunities. This is rec league and my DD did not want to take away more playing time from girls who had earned a chance to play by being with the team from the start. This is what happened:

Top 1st: DD strikes out 3 of 3, 0 - 0
Bot 1st: score 1 run, 1 - 0

Top 2nd: DD strikes out 2 of 3. 3rd batter lays down bunt and is thrown out by catcher, 1- 0
Bot 2nd: DD hits ball up middle, scores 2 rbi. 3 - 0

Top 3rd: Give up 6 runs, league max, 3 - 6
Bot 3rd: score 2 runs, 5 -6

Top 4th: Give up 3 runs, 5 - 9
Both 4th: rally with two outs score 5 runs (DD hits 2 more rbi and scores 1 run), 10 -9

Ok, now it is top of 5 and my DD's team is leading. Ump calls last inning. In our league last inning is open meaning no run max. This is the first time the team has been leading at this point. Coach asks my DD to pitch. The team really wants to win. The parents on the other team go crazy. Here is a sampling of the comments:

"Hey, she is only allowed to pitch two innings" - Not true. The only agreement with the league was joining the last place team. The deal to pitch two innings was between my DD and her coach. The coach can change his mind, that is called coaching.

"Let the girls play" - Huh? She is part of the team and is a girl so a bit on unclear on this. Just for the record my DD sat innings 3 and 4 so the other players could get play time. Up until this game she had played every inning of every game for the past 6 months with a couple of exceptions. She was enjoying being in the dugout and getting to lead the cheers for once.

"I told you he will do whatever it takes to win" - now this comment was directed at me from a crazy mom who has disliked me since 10U when I coached rec ball. I had nothing to do with the coaches decision but these crazy moms don't care. Once they dislike you they will go after you every opportunity.

Back to the top of the 5th: My DD takes the pitching plate. The other team parents start booing her on every pitch. No matter, 3 up, 3 down on Ks. Team wins.

Now I am used to negative softball comments. I would not have posted except there is more. I got a call from the rec league president last night that me, my dd and her coach have had a complaint filed against us by, guess who, the mom who has disliked me since 10U. Now I have to waste my time tonight on some meaningless BS so this mom can have another forum to voice her dislike of me. I am tempted to file a complaint against the other team as the parents violated the Player and Parent Conduct agreement they signed at the start of the season by booing my DD. I probably won't since it would just add fuel to the fire and waste more of my time. This is why I don't like rec ball....

 

[GOINGDEEP]

Ahhh, softball parents at their finest. I might be wrong, but I just don't remember all the crazy comments when I played baseball. Was it there and I just didn't care as a kid?

It took me years to understand this sport, and still learn or see something different at almost every game.

Don't take this the wrong way SOCALDAD, we played rec too, and I think the rec parents are the worst of them all. ( I'm talking about them and not you ) Maybe they didn't play sports themselves and don't understand the game and how to control their emotions?? IDK

I can't believe the 'blue' let the parents taunt the pitcher. Sorry your DD had to go through that.

 

[stephanie]

Here's what I would do...but again, it's just me.

Let your daughter respond.
Let her explain why she wanted to play REC ball one last time. Let her explain what it meant to her to sit out a few innings and just enjoy watching her teammates play ball. Let her say what she felt while in the circle having to listen to adults boo her, just because she's good at her sport. And then, I'd let her add whatever else she wants...

Good luick...

 

[SoCalDad]

...Let your daughter respond.
Let her explain why she wanted to play REC ball one last time. Let her explain what it meant to her to sit out a few innings and just enjoy watching her teammates play ball. Let her say what she felt while in the circle having to listen to adults boo her, just because she's good at her sport. And then, I'd let her add whatever else she wants...

Stephanie,

That is the high road and definitely better than my advice to her which was, "Chin high rise inside, that is why they wear helmets with face masks". Thanks.

 

[Coach-n-Dad]

Here's what I would do...but again, it's just me.

Let your daughter respond.
Let her explain why she wanted to play REC ball one last time. Let her explain what it meant to her to sit out a few innings and just enjoy watching her teammates play ball. Let her say what she felt while in the circle having to listen to adults boo her, just because she's good at her sport. And then, I'd let her add whatever else she wants...

Good luick...

stephanie brings a different perspective here - and one that SHOULD NOT BE OVERLOOKED!!!.

What does your DD think about all of this? Are her feelings as hurt as yours? Did she hear all that you heard? Did your DD have fun? Isn't that what this is all about at 14U rec? Rec ball is about the kids learning the game and having fun; it is not about the parents that seem to want to MAKE IT ABOUT THEM. If DD had fun, then IMO it is worth having a bogus complaint filed against you (it didn't get filed against her).

Going forward: If your DD is that much better than the others she should not be playing against them. Not so much that she could hurt someone in rec (which she can if she throws hard), but she will not learn anything playing down. IMO, unless there is absolutely NO CHANCE of DD using softball as help for college, she should play at the highest level she can compete at.

Oh, and SoCalDad - - - Have a great season

 

[EP Dad]

Great story. Ridiculous and sad, but a great story none the less. I probably would have reacted like you did and told my daughter to throw chin music.

 

[mudbug]

Just sounds like your daughter is too much better than the avg competition to be sporting to me. Sounds like she has no business playing that, even if she likes it, if others think it isnt fair.

 

[SoCalDad]

Just sounds like your daughter is too much better than the avg competition to be sporting to me. Sounds like she has no business playing that, even if she likes it, if others think it isnt fair.

Mudbug,

I agree she is better off playing on the travel team but this is not just about her. Even though we live in SoCal we live in a small tight knit community. Prior to the start of the spring season the league made it clear that a tournament team in her division was not going to be fielded this year due to a lack of pitching. That is unless she committed to return. There are 11 other girls in the league that are now going to play tournament ball because of her decision. These girls all go to the same middle school (not hard since we only have one) and will be going to and playing on the same high school teams. The peer pressure she faced to commit to the tourney team was intense. Two of the girls on the team are her best friends and were devastated when they learned that a tourney team might not be fielded. These girls have played on tourney teams since 8U. I was proud of my daughter that she recognized the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one (yes, a Star Trek quote). This is a three month commitment that will have no impact on her future play and skill growth. I will take a three month hiatus from travel ball so that 11 girls have memories for a lifetime.

 

[GOINGDEEP]

Mudbug,

I agree she is better off playing on the travel team but this is not just about her. Even though we live in SoCal we live in a small tight knit community. Prior to the start of the spring season the league made it clear that a tournament team in her division was not going to be fielded this year due to a lack of pitching. That is unless she committed to return. There are 11 other girls in the league that are now going to play tournament ball because of her decision. These girls all go to the same middle school (not hard since we only have one) and will be going to and playing on the same high school teams. The peer pressure she faced to commit to the tourney team was intense. Two of the girls on the team are her best friends and were devastated when they learned that a tourney team might not be fielded. These girls have played on tourney teams since 8U. I was proud of my daughter that she recognized the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one (yes, a Star Trek quote). This is a three month commitment that will have no impact on her future play and skill growth. I will take a three month hiatus from travel ball so that 11 girls have memories for a lifetime.

Very noble of you and your DD. And my hat is off to the two of you. It is very refreshing to be reminded this is for the kids, sometimes we are all guilty of not remembering that. Good luck and keep us posted.

 

[EP Dad]

This whole scenario reminds me of the old adage, "No good deed goes unpunished."

My hats off as well. You're both doing it right and that's what you need to remind yourself.