need some advice on how to handle

[GunnerShotgun]

As others suggested sit away from the other parents or drop your daughter off and then leave. If your daughter doesn't bring up issue "X" then it isn't an issue.

Most of the time the players take on the "issues" of the parents...

 

[Strike2]

It's 12U, so two things are certain...

1. Most parents in that age group don't know what they're looking at OR talking about.
2. Most parents in that age are neurotic about playing time at a particular position.

That said, 14 on a 12U roster is pretty thick. Even on older teams, unless there are 2-3 girls out every tournament and you're really working with 11 or 12 (max), it's REALLY hard to keep that many players happy. Every time DD's older team has swelled past 12 players, it's shrunk back down almost as fast for a variety of reasons. Typically, we're working with 10-11 at any given moment during a game. Don't talk to the coaches about anything not specifically about your DD, and even then, think twice. Inevitably, someone is going to leave soon if there's that much bitching this early in April. You can choose to be the one to look for a better situation, or simply wait it out for the inevitable exodus. The one screaming about putting the best team on the field (12C...lol) will likely be the first to go.

Any decent competitive team needs at least two good catchers, and a couple more decent backups in case of absence, injury, or fatigue. Unless it's really hot, I don't like the rotating every inning thing, but having catchers paired up with a particular pitcher is pretty normal. Any parent who doesn't want their catching DD to split time is either stupid or insane.

 

[marriard]

yeah, I am just trying to figure out how to keep DW from demolishing this mom. she is not the type to go sit quitely in RF, and we are actually pretty friendly with the one set of parents who we moved from last team with (Dad is AC, both are umpires as well).

The great thing about watching from RF is you can be as loud as you want and no one can hear you

Seriously, if RF isn't for DW, then the other side of the dugout can be. There is no reason you have to sit with or even near the whole parent group. If you have some friends who want to join you, even better.

There is zero reason to go to the coach unless it starts to effect the girls or they are arranging some sort of coach mutiny or they cross the line with something they say (which is certainly possible by the sound of it). Much more important is how is your DD doing? If she is doing fine, then do your best to avoid and ignore.

And the bag thing... it is a bag... let it go. Don't be one of them.

 

[Chris8]

Any parent who doesn't want their catching DD to split time is either stupid or insane.

Stupid AND insane

Well said Strike2 well said.

 

[Sparky Guy]

The DD played for an organization that would routinely put 15+ kids on the roster. I always thought it was to make the kids learn how to fight for playing time, and it did. But the real reason was to control the parents. It was made very clear. If you're not happy about the way things were run you were free to take your daughter and leave. There was always another player willing to play the innings vacated by the departing player.

 

[Tango]

A little off topic but one of my best friends sits in the OF every game because he says his wife has Sports Turrets. LOL. Love her by the way and she isn't bad at all but don't talk about any of our players. He comes from a family of major league players and has a son that has a change but will not even come close to the field because he thinks everyone is crazy.

 

[Strike2]

The DD played for an organization that would routinely put 15+ kids on the roster. I always thought it was to make the kids learn how to fight for playing time, and it did. But the real reason was to control the parents. It was made very clear. If you're not happy about the way things were run you were free to take your daughter and leave. There was always another player willing to play the innings vacated by the departing player.

12 kids can fight for playing time, but 15 is ridiculous. I was once stuck with a Rec League team that size, and it sucked...too many sitting on the bench too often. It must have been a big name that everyone thought they needed to play for, or the only game in town. In areas with lots of teams and choices, that isn't the way to keep players.

 

[Sparky Guy]

12 kids can fight for playing time, but 15 is ridiculous. I was once stuck with a Rec League team that size, and it sucked...too many sitting on the bench too often. It must have been a big name that everyone thought they needed to play for, or the only game in town. In areas with lots of teams and choices, that isn't the way to keep players.

This was 20 years ago. Very tough organization at the time. No parent coaches back then. Had their own indoor and outdoor facilities. Lots of connections with college coaches.

Not the only game in town. Just one of the best. Had a WCWS MVP come from there and several other players who played in the WCWS over the years. Many had some really stellar careers in college. Some of them played for the Chicago Bandits in the NPF.

12 kids don't fight as hard as 15 do. When my DD got to college she knew what she needed to do for playing time and got. When the 14U and older teams traveled the players were in a room, 4 to a room. Not with their parents. They were responsible for making sure they were where they needed to be when they needed to be.

If you had a DD with a lot of potential it was the place you wanted her to be.

 

[grcsftbll]

Well, your wife needs to be an adult and control herself because that's what best for your daughter. She doesn't have to respond to their bait. I usually sit near home plate to make score keeping easier but I find it hard not to get mouthy with the umpires sometimes (which helps no one, as my DH likes to say, and since he's also the coach I have to listen). I moved way down the line, and discovered that if I know they can't hear me I'm not really tempted to smart off anyway. It was very relaxing. I've even turned over score keeping for a bit so I can enjoy my newfound peace. lol

As for the long-time parents being closer, well, duh. Sometimes in the softball world you can't have friends without being called a clique. Is it just one or two that are acting clique-ish? If so I wouldn't worry about them too much. Avoid them. Most of them are probably just comfortable with each other, and once they get to know you, it'll be fine.

It's crazy that anyone would want their kid to be the solo catcher. Catching is so physically intense. It's amazing to me, by 12U, how many parents still don't understand the concept of team. And their kids don't get it either, as illustrated by the crying over sitting. Everybody sits sometimes; get over it. It sounds like the coach has some things he needs to address. If I were you, I'd keep your head down (and your wife too), let your daughter earn her spot and avoid the annoying parents. As the coach adds more families with a team mentality he's able to get rid of the ones who don't have it. But you just joined, and I can tell you the coach is probably already stressed by these parents & their diva children. Sounds like he's doing the right thing so far, so give him a chance to handle it. Sit with your wife down the line and chill out. It's really nice, I promise.

 

[_MIA_]

Give it some time. If your DD is enjoying playing with the team her parents will just have to figure out how to deal with the other parent's mouths (most of the time I do the sit very far away method )