12u C level team, but I think they have potential to be a B level team. DD joined team over winter, 4th team in 3 springs (1st team never played (10u), so we left, second team (10u, really good team, one of the best in our state) she was offered spot, but with probability of diminished playing time, coach was very honest with us, and we still see the coach for lessons, talk with them, etc., 3rd team (12u) was fall only, train wreck, coach talked good game, but couldnt manage a team worth a damn). we do several tryouts late fall, this team offers us a spot at the tryouts (DD is a catcher), team has one catcher returning, we accept because to play at a high level you need two catchers.
when coach is talking about the unis and bags they will be ordering, I ask him before he orders, to please let us know what catchers bag he will be ordering, because DD has had several so far, and most were not really big enough, and we would pay difference to get her a bag that would work better. Bags come in with no advance warning, same type bag she has had before, and it works, but barely, they do not design these things with kneesavers and face guards on batting helmets in mind. She struggles to get packed up quickly, which causes her to become very agitated (some OCD issues). first time after getting bag when other catcher is at practice, low and behold, she has the bag we would have upgraded to, why if they are equal two different bags (bigger bag, easier to pack up quickly in).
At 530 PM on a given night each week, some of the teams pitchers (normally 2-3 of them there) do a 30 minute lesson with local pitching instructor, around corner from facility team practices in at 630 the same night. Catchers are encouraged to come to build rapport with pitchers, get reps, etc. First week DD comes, Mom of other catcher makes a couple of comments "didn't know they were bringing another catcher in", in that vein. Last week, we get there, only one pitcher there and DD, so they go through the lesson. as DD is packing up, in comes the other catcher and one of the other pitchers for a 30 minute lesson at 6. now, we easily have the longest trip to get there, most others are fairly local to the lessons/practice facility. we were given no notice of change, "hey, you have really long drive, would coming at 6 rather than 530 help". etc. Just from all the comments, it seems like they want this girl to be THE catcher for this pitcher (whom both of those moms feel is a clear #1, not so certain after this weekend).
they play first games this past weekend, one day 3 game tournament on Sat, friendly round robin 2 game on Sunday. Saturday, Dd and other catcher basically split each game behind plate (each also gets an inning here or there in field), switching after two innings, if game goes beyond 4, they alternate inning by inning (only one game went beyond 4). same is happening it seems with all the fielding positions, girls get a couple of innings, then they sit one or two, 14 on roster. according to DW (I was in restroom), during second game, one parent goes off on coach (AC, HC is not coaching for a bit due to medical reasons), "your job is to put best team possible on the field, etc.". Another comment DW heard, not certain same parent, when his DD is crying because she has to sit, is "well she is not used to being on the bench" (and she is a really good player). meanwhile, we both overhear other catchers' mom discussing with same pitcher who moved lesson 30 minutes above, "unheard of to split time at catcher", why would they do that, etc. Then, when my wife (who had to miss first game for other DD activity) goes to snack stand, other cathers mom is making same kinda comments, and she has to know DW is there, DW said it felt like she was being baited (DW wifes wants to smear her face on sidewalk).
Now, my DW will tell you I see the worst of my DDs when it comes to sports performance, and I have tended to be harder on them than other peoples kids. I think more parents should be this way honestly. All that being said, I thought comparatively (from seeing practices and these 5 games), the girls are fairly even in ability. one does some things a little better, one does other things better. all that being said, with the schedule these girls are going to play (tournaments on average every other weekend, plus two weeknight league games a week), two catchers are a must, same as multiple pitchers. And at 12u (especially C), it should be about developing the girls, not chasing plastic.
Some of the team dynamic that I did not see is that the players returning from fall and their families are somewhat related and/or are close (ie ride sharing, who is coming home and staying over with who, etc.) and that is great, but it seems to me they see the girls that just joined over winter (DD and two of her teammates from fall came to this team in winter, one is part of clicque, DD and the other are not, not certain who else came on in winter) as extras/fillers. Case in point, at practice one night, there was a lot of muttering "why is that girl practiceing at XX, Mary plays XX). I try to engage in the conversation that it's 12u, they should move around some, not get completely pigeon holed, and got shut down "not here", and our HS you can only try out for 2 positions, that is it (but I guarantee that coach has taken girls that tried out of X planning to use them for Y). We (and I imagine the other parents) are not paying all this money to finance someone else's kids fastpitch career. I do not think the issue is the coaches, but at the same time I am fairly certain they do not know about the toxic atmostphere we are seeing.
I think part of the issue is some of these have an inflated sense of what their girls are and what the team is. chances are, none of these girls are going to play beyond HS, and if they do, will almost certainly not be getting $$.
DW and I agree, we need to talk to the coach about some of this, because if the baiting comments continue, DW (more emotional than I am) will not be able to come to games, either to avoid an issue or because she smeared some other mom's face down the sidewalk. We need to make it clear that DD is not simply an insurance policy (you want an insurance policy, you pay me for it, not vice versa), and parents really need to keep their opinions of PT and players to themselves. When I am at games, I encourage eveyrone (might not know all their names yet, but I encourage them) and acknoweldge good play regardless of who makes it.
any advice on how to approach coaches (not even certain which coach I should address, as HC is still recovering). and thanks for letting me rant.
when coach is talking about the unis and bags they will be ordering, I ask him before he orders, to please let us know what catchers bag he will be ordering, because DD has had several so far, and most were not really big enough, and we would pay difference to get her a bag that would work better. Bags come in with no advance warning, same type bag she has had before, and it works, but barely, they do not design these things with kneesavers and face guards on batting helmets in mind. She struggles to get packed up quickly, which causes her to become very agitated (some OCD issues). first time after getting bag when other catcher is at practice, low and behold, she has the bag we would have upgraded to, why if they are equal two different bags (bigger bag, easier to pack up quickly in).
At 530 PM on a given night each week, some of the teams pitchers (normally 2-3 of them there) do a 30 minute lesson with local pitching instructor, around corner from facility team practices in at 630 the same night. Catchers are encouraged to come to build rapport with pitchers, get reps, etc. First week DD comes, Mom of other catcher makes a couple of comments "didn't know they were bringing another catcher in", in that vein. Last week, we get there, only one pitcher there and DD, so they go through the lesson. as DD is packing up, in comes the other catcher and one of the other pitchers for a 30 minute lesson at 6. now, we easily have the longest trip to get there, most others are fairly local to the lessons/practice facility. we were given no notice of change, "hey, you have really long drive, would coming at 6 rather than 530 help". etc. Just from all the comments, it seems like they want this girl to be THE catcher for this pitcher (whom both of those moms feel is a clear #1, not so certain after this weekend).
they play first games this past weekend, one day 3 game tournament on Sat, friendly round robin 2 game on Sunday. Saturday, Dd and other catcher basically split each game behind plate (each also gets an inning here or there in field), switching after two innings, if game goes beyond 4, they alternate inning by inning (only one game went beyond 4). same is happening it seems with all the fielding positions, girls get a couple of innings, then they sit one or two, 14 on roster. according to DW (I was in restroom), during second game, one parent goes off on coach (AC, HC is not coaching for a bit due to medical reasons), "your job is to put best team possible on the field, etc.". Another comment DW heard, not certain same parent, when his DD is crying because she has to sit, is "well she is not used to being on the bench" (and she is a really good player). meanwhile, we both overhear other catchers' mom discussing with same pitcher who moved lesson 30 minutes above, "unheard of to split time at catcher", why would they do that, etc. Then, when my wife (who had to miss first game for other DD activity) goes to snack stand, other cathers mom is making same kinda comments, and she has to know DW is there, DW said it felt like she was being baited (DW wifes wants to smear her face on sidewalk).
Now, my DW will tell you I see the worst of my DDs when it comes to sports performance, and I have tended to be harder on them than other peoples kids. I think more parents should be this way honestly. All that being said, I thought comparatively (from seeing practices and these 5 games), the girls are fairly even in ability. one does some things a little better, one does other things better. all that being said, with the schedule these girls are going to play (tournaments on average every other weekend, plus two weeknight league games a week), two catchers are a must, same as multiple pitchers. And at 12u (especially C), it should be about developing the girls, not chasing plastic.
Some of the team dynamic that I did not see is that the players returning from fall and their families are somewhat related and/or are close (ie ride sharing, who is coming home and staying over with who, etc.) and that is great, but it seems to me they see the girls that just joined over winter (DD and two of her teammates from fall came to this team in winter, one is part of clicque, DD and the other are not, not certain who else came on in winter) as extras/fillers. Case in point, at practice one night, there was a lot of muttering "why is that girl practiceing at XX, Mary plays XX). I try to engage in the conversation that it's 12u, they should move around some, not get completely pigeon holed, and got shut down "not here", and our HS you can only try out for 2 positions, that is it (but I guarantee that coach has taken girls that tried out of X planning to use them for Y). We (and I imagine the other parents) are not paying all this money to finance someone else's kids fastpitch career. I do not think the issue is the coaches, but at the same time I am fairly certain they do not know about the toxic atmostphere we are seeing.
I think part of the issue is some of these have an inflated sense of what their girls are and what the team is. chances are, none of these girls are going to play beyond HS, and if they do, will almost certainly not be getting $$.
DW and I agree, we need to talk to the coach about some of this, because if the baiting comments continue, DW (more emotional than I am) will not be able to come to games, either to avoid an issue or because she smeared some other mom's face down the sidewalk. We need to make it clear that DD is not simply an insurance policy (you want an insurance policy, you pay me for it, not vice versa), and parents really need to keep their opinions of PT and players to themselves. When I am at games, I encourage eveyrone (might not know all their names yet, but I encourage them) and acknoweldge good play regardless of who makes it.
any advice on how to approach coaches (not even certain which coach I should address, as HC is still recovering). and thanks for letting me rant.
Last edited:
