Need help on what to do ??

[justwannaplay]

Hi all

My daughter has a big decision to make and need some advice???. She plays soccer in the fall for her high school. In a few weeks she has a softball showcase to attend and she would miss a Saturday HS soccer game.

The big question is does she tell her coach that she will be out or does she call in sick ? My daughter is afraid to say anything to the coach. And the coach isn't a very understanding coach either. Some parents have been honest only to have their kids punished on the sidelines... She knows if she misses a game she will be sitting but she doesn't want to deal with the coaches attitude......

I know we teach our kids to be honest but there are coaches out there who are power driven and honesty may not be the best policy here ?

Can anyone share some advice or similar circumstances that you have encountered? We would love to hear your opinion.....

Thanks
JWP

 

[Lrgmouth]

I would have my DD tell the truth. Should have told the coach as soon as you found out, no player makes every game. She is going to have to deal with people being dissapointed all through her life, might as well get used to it now. You are not put on this earth to make people happy.

 

[BB Coach]

Be very careful here.... Make sure you check the HS rules of your state. Where I am, you can not miss a high school game or practice for another activity. If found to have done so, the player is automatically suspended for 1/4 of the HS team's games.

This came into play with us in the spring when my daughter had a HS softball practice on Saturday and the basketball AAU state tournament.

 

[CycloneSoftball22]

I see this a bit differently. If I were the HS coach , I would also be upset. Why commit to a school team and then just miss a game when there is something else you would rather do ? To me this would be telling the HS coach that your softball thing is more important to you than the soccer team. I would also sit a player for the next game or two for missing a game.

 

[sluggers]

You are wrong on so many levels that I don't now where to start...

1) School activities take priority over non-school activities. End of story.

2) She agreed to play soccer and she made a commitment. It is the middle of the season. For her to walk out on her obligations at this time to her teammates to go play in a showcase tournament is simply not acceptable.

3) It is *HER* decision, not yours. Your DD is the athlete, you aren't. She apparently has a lot better understanding of what it means to be on a team than you do. She is telling you she wants to play for her soccer team rather than go play softball. Let her drive for a change.

4) She won't miss the entire tournament. You take her to her soccer game, and then you drive to her showcase tournament. She can play on Sunday.

5) Lying is lying. You can't simply stick a flower in **** and call it fertilizer.

 

[Bucketrider]

Again I say, Sluggers for President!

 

[Coach-n-Dad]

Yup. She committed to a school team sport and school comes first.

If she doesn't want to miss showcases then she won't try out for HS soccer next year.

 

[PA SB Dad]

Of course the coach would be upset and rightfully punish a player that misses a GAME for an out of season sport. Moreover, should it get back to the coach that a player LIED about why she missed the game, there will be no need to worry about further punishment on the sidelines, since that player shouldn't be allowed on the sidelines anymore. On what planet is this kind of behavior acceptable?

As a HS athlete, your DD needs to own her decisions and accept the consequences. If she committed to play on the HS soccer team, and her coach and teammates are counting on her to play, she should honor that commitment. If SHE CHOOSES not to honor that commitment, and go to the showcase, that is fine, but she should have the backbone to stand up and accept the consequences for doing that. Not honoring the commitment, and then lying about why she did it, is just plain wrong, and you should not enable that sort of behavior by letting her off the hook and making the decision for her.

 

[quincy]

Decisions have consequences. Being an adult, or child, you need to evaluate your decisions and their consequences then make your decision. Some of the consequences are unpleasant. Her lying to avoid all this is a bad precedent to set and not teaching her about life. Decisions are going to get a lot harder than being benched or sitting a few soccer games.

 

[howellhandmade]

My motto: Always take all the pain up front. Let's say the decision is that softball is the college scholarship sport and that attending the showcase in its entirety is the top priority, even if it means quitting soccer or sitting out some games. If you think the soccer coach will be mad about that, imagine him when he finds out that DD lied to him and didn't actually have strep throat. The coach may not be happy with the decision, but he'll have to respect DD's thinking the consequences through and being up front about it.