Moving on to a new team

[Jorgy73]

On the flip side, as a coach, it is frustrating to have kids you helped develop jump ship, especially just as you think you are about to turn a corner and be more competitive as an organization.
In our area, we have a long time program that had a good reputation for years, but is now losing players. Last year, we had a player from our team, who our coaches spent a lot of time working with, leave us for the other program. The kicker was this other program initially rejected her, but now only took her after she was coached up on our team.

 

[peanut]

Well we had a horrible experience of a Coach when we told him our daughter would be leaving. We told him before season end due to a bigger better Orginization that's top rated in the nation wanted my Daughter so she wasn't refusing a chance of a lifetime to get to the pinnacle and with just weeks left of the season he cut my Daughter. We were shocked. . As other coaches heard about what happened we had offers to fill Iin other teams and could of played in Mississippi, Texas,Iowa. Georgia , but decided to play local on one of her old teams she was on and had fun. So never tell a coach your leaving until after nationals. Funny thing is there will be 4 to 5 girls leaving because of the coach. The team had great talent but horrible losing season and it was all coach related because he didn't Coach the right way and he played his daughter over other better players all the time. Coach couldn't even tell it tome he left a voice mail message how screwed up is that

 

[Orange Socks]

Well we had a horrible experience of a Coach when we told him our daughter would be leaving. We told him before season end due to a bigger better Orginization that's top rated in the nation wanted my Daughter so she wasn't refusing a chance of a lifetime to get to the pinnacle and with just weeks left of the season he cut my Daughter. We were shocked. . As other coaches heard about what happened we had offers to fill Iin other teams and could of played in Mississippi, Texas,Iowa. Georgia , but decided to play local on one of her old teams she was on and had fun. So never tell a coach your leaving until after nationals. Funny thing is there will be 4 to 5 girls leaving because of the coach. The team had great talent but horrible losing season and it was all coach related because he didn't Coach the right way and he played his daughter over other better players all the time. Coach couldn't even tell it tome he left a voice mail message how screwed up is that

Many on here can learn from you mistake. How did you think it would go over telling the coach that your DD is leaving before the season is over? I would have asked her to turn in any team gear and wish her well in her journey. I don't want a player/family that is half committed to my team going into Nationals. You think you are doing the right thing, but it is not especially if you planned to play out the season. The minute the coach knows that you are checked out, it is best for all to part ways immediately.

Not just your situation, but when other parents get wind of the impending departure the environment will become toxic. Players will look at that player differently, and parents will begin to distance themselves from the parents. It is best to play out the season, and then notify the team that you do not plan on coming back in the fall AFTER you get back home from your last tournament. This isn't a job where you give your two weeks notice, and the boss actually keeps you around. In my professional world, two weeks notice means I better be ready to be escorted out the door.

 

[_MIA_]

Players will look at that player differently, and parents will begin to distance themselves from the parents.

I don't disagree with anything you said but the above is just weird. The kid is leaving a softball team for another softball team, not deciding to join Al Qaeda.

 

[CMMom1740]

I don't disagree with anything you said but the above is just weird. The kid is leaving a softball team for another softball team, not deciding to join Al Qaeda.

It happens, though. And then parents start posting cryptic memes and things on Facebook like "there's no I in Team," etc.... to make the families who decided to try something different the next year feel like Benedict Arnold. I wouldn't automatically think horrible things about girls or parents who make that decision, but it appears that many do. People often act on emotion, not logic. There have been times where I was like, "Yeah, if I was Susie's parent, I'd leave too."

 

[_MIA_]

It happens, though. And then parents start posting cryptic memes and things on Facebook like "there's no I in Team," etc.... to make the families who decided to try something different the next year feel like Benedict Arnold. I wouldn't automatically think horrible things about girls or parents who make that decision, but it appears that many do. People often act on emotion, not logic. There have been times where I was like, "Yeah, if I was Susie's parent, I'd leave too."

I realize that it happens, just seems silly.

 

[Orange Socks]

I realize that it happens, just seems silly.

People can't help themselves and are not as evolved as others!

 

[JillMS923]

Here's a "hypothetical" situation:

Say we got an offer from B team. It was our 2nd choice because we wanted an A team that was 10 to 15 minutes away from us. But B team tryout was first, A team was 6 days later. B team gives us an offer after tryouts and says we have 48 hours to decide plus they also know we were interested in this A level team.

She took the offer afraid that she wasn't going to make an A level team. We decide to tryout anyway for A team because we wanted to see what it takes to be an A level competitor (cuz she only knows C level). Also to see how she would measure up and what she would need to work on.

After tryouts, she didn't think she did well but knows she was probably one of the better pitchers. But overall didn't think she would get an offer. Well, they called us that night, said they wanted her to pitch for A team. We already made a commitment to B team but now we have the offer that we want from the A team that is a lot closer to us.

What would you do if she accepted an offer a few days ago but may not want to miss out on this opportunity?

 

[CMMom1740]

You can certainly do what you want, but just be aware that your name will be mud with the B team. Have you asked ALL the pertinent questions of the A team? Where will she fall in the pecking order of pitchers? Will she play a secondary position when not pitching or sit the bench? I'd rather have my kid pitch a lot on a B team than sit the bench and be backup pitcher only for an A team.

 

[bmakj]

Here's a "hypothetical" situation:

says we have 48 hours to decide plus they also know we were interested in this A level team.

that is why they only gave you 48 hours, they knew she was probably good enough for team "A", and they wanted her. in the end, you have to do what is best for your family, but if you committed, I think you should stay. However, I have never really gone for the pressure tactics, I would have told them, she has another tryout, we need X days, not 48 hours. response would tell you a lot about the org.

having said that, DD recently committed to a team before attending all the tryouts we had scoped out, but that was her/our decision, no pressure from team. quality organizations will understand the process, and families wanting to make certain they are making right choice.