Moving on to a new team

[JillMS923]

Hi All,

This may be just me, but it has been very difficult to find the right words to let my DD's old team know that we are moving on to another team. So here's some background.

Started with the organization at 10u first year, pretty new, only a couple of years under their belt.

Old organization plays at C level. New org plays a respectable B level and DD will play for them now in 11u. (Primary reason why we are leaving. She needs to be challenged. #1 pitcher on team, usually only throws fastballs because opponents cannot time her. Feels ready for a more competitive team.)

I know there is a possibility that the grass may not be greener, but the new org has been recruiting her since season has ended.

I know we don't "owe" old org anything, but they have trained her to be a good softball player and I do not want them to have a bad opinion about my DD because they may be depending on her for the next season or her teammates are expecting her to stay. Which, btw, we never denied that she will stay with them or confirmed that she would. She just didn't know what her plans were until she tried out for the new org and coach gave her an offer in the pitching rotation on the spot.

She tried out last year, was offered a spot again, but was told that she wouldn't see a lot of mound time due to them having pitchers that were faster than her. We denied that offer because she wanted to pitch and what kind of mom would I be if I told my then 10 year old that maybe she shouldn't pitch because a more competitive team wants you but as a fourth pitcher. So she stayed with her old team, worked hard on pitching and is now almost 15 mph faster (with the help of puberty). So now the more competitive team wants her to pitch for them and she accepted.

At the end of the day, it has always been her decision. We just support her. She is very excited to be on the new team. Time to move on and get better.

Basically trying to gracefully bow out of the old org for my DD so as to not burn bridges. It feels like breaking up with a boyfriend of two years. Not a bad relationship, just found something more attractive. Hoping that best case scenario, they just understand, no hard feelings. Any advice would help or how stories of similar situations. This forum has been like softball therapy for me.

 

[murphdog]

Just nicely say that DD wants to move to a more competitive level of play and you appreciate all of the support she got from the team over the past 2 years.
If they are mad, they’re mad and there is nothing you can do about that.
We had a coach once call the organization DD was going to and tell them not to take her. Thankfully new coach didn’t listen.

 

[The Man In Blue]

I wouldn’t even say “more attractive” ... it is not the same if it is a higher level of ball.

I wouldn’t hesitate to say just that: If she wanted to stay at “C-level” ball there is no question we would be staying. However, she is wanting to challenge herself more and wants the experience of moving up to a more competitive environment.

 

[fuzzy2651]

Been there and I know how you feel. We started 2nd year 10U, my DD is going into first year 14U (13U) and this will be her 4th team. Every time I have had to make the phone call it's been difficult, and when you really like the coach and the other parents it's even tougher. When I see my DD's old coaches at tournaments I'll have a beer or two with them and catch up. It's a small world and I try not to burn bridges. You thank them for everything they've done and just tell them you want to explore other opportunities. Only they can choose how to receive that information if you're respectful about it.

 

[CMMom1740]

If they recognize her talent, they will know that she would be stifled continuing to play at that level and will fully expect her to leave to move up at some point. They might be sad to lose her, but they shouldn't be angry or resentful. And if they are, sorry, but you have to do what is best for your kid.

 

[EmToTheDee]

Saying goodbye the first time is really hard. Folks who are going to be angry, will be angry no matter what you say. So keep it super short and sweet. Maybe just send to the Coach...

We did the exact same change for our then 11U pitcher a few years ago. She was the clear #1 pitcher, but it was time to move on. We sent what I thought was a really nice note to the entire team, but it was not well received.

 

[Sweet Lou]

As others have said, thank them for the past opportunities but let them know your DD is going to try a higher level of competition than the one they will be playing. Most coaches will understand that. I coach B level all-stars in the summer and I'm happy for any girls I'm able to help make the jump to A-ball in the fall or following spring.

 

[bmakj]

Been there and I know how you feel. We started 2nd year 10U, my DD is going into first year 14U (13U) and this will be her 4th team. Every time I have had to make the phone call it's been difficult, and when you really like the coach and the other parents it's even tougher. When I see my DD's old coaches at tournaments I'll have a beer or two with them and catch up. It's a small world and I try not to burn bridges. You thank them for everything they've done and just tell them you want to explore other opportunities. Only they can choose how to receive that information if you're respectful about it.

we try not to burn bridges as well . . . but have had to do so on occasion. first team DD left, tried to call HC, could not get a hold of them, left voicemail, and spoke to head of org. second team coach called us, said DD had spot, but might not see a lot of PT, we left on very good terms, she still sees that Hc for private instruction. third team we left, HC was plain and simple an a$$hole, sent text simply saying DD would not be with them in spring (only played one fall with them, hard to get DD to ride out even that). last team, no formal announcement either way, pretty clear form texts back and forth).

 

[JillMS923]

We had a coach once call the organization DD was going to and tell them not to take her. Thankfully new coach didn’t listen.

Wow thats terrible. I would have left that team just because of that coach.

 

[Orange Socks]

Keep it short and sweet. I still remain good friends with many player's and parents that moved on. If they were you friends when DD was on the team, they should be friends off the team. Going to new teams is part of the maturation process and is expected for the most part especially if it's not a good fit. Hate to say it, but players are replaceable and teams pop up and teams fold.