Moving on to a new team

[GoGamecocks]

We just went through this. There was tons of toxicity in the dugout and on the field. We were one of at least six girls leaving. We were tempted to use the scorched earth approach and send a scathing email pointing out all the reasons we were leaving their team. Wife talked me off the ledge, and we ended up sending a generic email that essentially said "We've accepted a spot on another team. We'll miss you all, and hope to see you at the fields." Even if you like them, a lot, they don't really have any right to demand explanations from you.

Short, sweet, and generic. Loads of sugar, even if you don't really feel it.

 

[JillMS923]

Saying goodbye the first time is really hard. Folks who are going to be angry, will be angry no matter what you say. So keep it super short and sweet. Maybe just send to the Coach...

We did the exact same change for our then 11U pitcher a few years ago. She was the clear #1 pitcher, but it was time to move on. We sent what I thought was a really nice note to the entire team, but it was not well received.

Btw, what do you mean by not well received? You don't have to say details if you do not want to, but trying to prepare myself. Haha

 

[MadBandit22]

Hi All,

This may be just me, but it has been very difficult to find the right words to let my DD's old team know that we are moving on to another team. So here's some background.

Started with the organization at 10u first year, pretty new, only a couple of years under their belt.

Old organization plays at C level. New org plays a respectable B level and DD will play for them now in 11u. (Primary reason why we are leaving. She needs to be challenged. #1 pitcher on team, usually only throws fastballs because opponents cannot time her. Feels ready for a more competitive team.)

I know there is a possibility that the grass may not be greener, but the new org has been recruiting her since season has ended.

I know we don't "owe" old org anything, but they have trained her to be a good softball player and I do not want them to have a bad opinion about my DD because they may be depending on her for the next season or her teammates are expecting her to stay. Which, btw, we never denied that she will stay with them or confirmed that she would. She just didn't know what her plans were until she tried out for the new org and coach gave her an offer in the pitching rotation on the spot.

She tried out last year, was offered a spot again, but was told that she wouldn't see a lot of mound time due to them having pitchers that were faster than her. We denied that offer because she wanted to pitch and what kind of mom would I be if I told my then 10 year old that maybe she shouldn't pitch because a more competitive team wants you but as a fourth pitcher. So she stayed with her old team, worked hard on pitching and is now almost 15 mph faster (with the help of puberty). So now the more competitive team wants her to pitch for them and she accepted.

At the end of the day, it has always been her decision. We just support her. She is very excited to be on the new team. Time to move on and get better.

Basically trying to gracefully bow out of the old org for my DD so as to not burn bridges. It feels like breaking up with a boyfriend of two years. Not a bad relationship, just found something more attractive. Hoping that best case scenario, they just understand, no hard feelings. Any advice would help or how stories of similar situations. This forum has been like softball therapy for me.

Sounds like you’ve outgrown the “C” organization which is a good thing. You/your daughter are making the right choice to move on to a higher level team. Just be sure the new team is reputable org and your D will get plenty of field time.
If the old team is a class org with quality coaches they will understand and wish you well. They may try and entice you to stay but is sounds like moving on/up is the right progression at this point. Good Luck!!!

 

[ambrosia.moore]

Hi All,

This may be just me, but it has been very difficult to find the right words to let my DD's old team know that we are moving on to another team. So here's some background.

Started with the organization at 10u first year, pretty new, only a couple of years under their belt.

Old organization plays at C level. New org plays a respectable B level and DD will play for them now in 11u. (Primary reason why we are leaving. She needs to be challenged. #1 pitcher on team, usually only throws fastballs because opponents cannot time her. Feels ready for a more competitive team.)

I know there is a possibility that the grass may not be greener, but the new org has been recruiting her since season has ended.

I know we don't "owe" old org anything, but they have trained her to be a good softball player and I do not want them to have a bad opinion about my DD because they may be depending on her for the next season or her teammates are expecting her to stay. Which, btw, we never denied that she will stay with them or confirmed that she would. She just didn't know what her plans were until she tried out for the new org and coach gave her an offer in the pitching rotation on the spot.

She tried out last year, was offered a spot again, but was told that she wouldn't see a lot of mound time due to them having pitchers that were faster than her. We denied that offer because she wanted to pitch and what kind of mom would I be if I told my then 10 year old that maybe she shouldn't pitch because a more competitive team wants you but as a fourth pitcher. So she stayed with her old team, worked hard on pitching and is now almost 15 mph faster (with the help of puberty). So now the more competitive team wants her to pitch for them and she accepted.

At the end of the day, it has always been her decision. We just support her. She is very excited to be on the new team. Time to move on and get better.

Basically trying to gracefully bow out of the old org for my DD so as to not burn bridges. It feels like breaking up with a boyfriend of two years. Not a bad relationship, just found something more attractive. Hoping that best case scenario, they just understand, no hard feelings. Any advice would help or how stories of similar situations. This forum has been like softball therapy for me.

With personal experience, it definitely isn’t easy. I left my first travel ball organization this past year because I was given a better opportunity elsewhere. It was really hard, but ultimately, there weren’t any hard feelings. My first coach was actually the Director, and we emailed him after I got my offer, and just let him know my decision. He wasn’t upset, and still supports me on my new team. It is a difficult decision, and hard to leave friends, coaches and families you’ve known for so long. It was very hard for me, but this past season has been such a good experience, and I love my new organization! Good luck and feel free to reach out with any other questions!

 

[Cagman]

I found if a player doesn’t want to be on the team, it’s usually best for both parties if they leave.

My daughter has had opportunities to leave where we are, but I believe in building something with a good core group. Maybe I’ll feel differently as she gets older, but for now it’s just 12u softball. Sure it’s sometimes tough, but that’s the definition of a team - sticking together and building something, bringing everyone on the team up. It sometimes saddens me to see all the 12-year-old mercenaries we have out there on the field. Jumping from team to team, pre-teen free agency.

With that being said, there’s really no stopping this travel ball team jumping train. It left the station along time ago.

I really do wish every girl that leaves all the best. I always make sure to check in on them at tournaments We meet at. They’re usually very good kids. Same can’t always be sad about the parents

 

[JillMS923]

I found if a player doesn’t want to be on the team, it’s usually best for both parties if they leave.

My daughter has had opportunities to leave where we are, but I believe in building something with a good core group. Maybe I’ll feel differently as she gets older, but for now it’s just 12u softball. Sure it’s sometimes tough, but that’s the definition of a team - sticking together and building something, bringing everyone on the team up. It sometimes saddens me to see all the 12-year-old mercenaries we have out there on the field. Jumping from team to team, pre-teen free agency.

With that being said, there’s really no stopping this travel ball team jumping train. It left the station along time ago.

I really do wish every girl that leaves all the best. I always make sure to check in on them at tournaments We meet at. They’re usually very good kids. Same can’t always be sad about the parents

That's exactly how I think the old coach will feel. She has told me time and time again about having a good core group of girls to grow with and eventually play B level or A level ball. The organization is headed in the right direction. I can definitely see them being more competitive in the next few years. But this is an opportunity to play more competitively and maybe grow with that group of girls. It really was a hard decision. We can take our chance and wait for the core group team to gel together or join an organization that is well established and known and grow with them. The idea of going against better teams appeals to her. She wants a team that is as competitive as her.

 

[Agbracing]

Just went through leaving a team full of good girls and coaches. Had a great season with them and was a good fit for a year. But was not going to be a great fit moving forward. We just kept it short and sweet. Thanked them for everything over the past year but felt we needed to go in another direction for a better fit for DD. Everything worked out well for us.

 

[EmToTheDee]

Btw, what do you mean by not well received? You don't have to say details if you do not want to, but trying to prepare myself. Haha

We were accused of recruiting other players / purposefully sowing dissent via the "goodbye and thanks" note. Coach loudly blamed me personally as the reason six families left his team to the Org head. I got booted off the Org Board after four years of volunteer service. And my daughter was blacklisted: no guest playing and no chance of rejoining the Org.

The last part hurt the most. Be angry at me, but do not take it out on a kid. My wife almost went serial killer on the Org head over that one when we found out two years later about being blacklisted.

 

[_MIA_]

My wife almost went serial killer on the Org head over that one when we found out two years later about being blacklisted.

If there is one thing I have learned as a sports parent these last 4 years or so is that you DO NOT want to poke mother bear..

 

[CMMom1740]

We were accused of recruiting other players / purposefully sowing dissent via the "goodbye and thanks" note. Coach loudly blamed me personally as the reason six families left his team to the Org head. I got booted off the Org Board after four years of volunteer service. And my daughter was blacklisted: no guest playing and no chance of rejoining the Org.

The last part hurt the most. Be angry at me, but do not take it out on a kid. My wife almost went serial killer on the Org head over that one when we found out two years later about being blacklisted.

We just gave our team from last year notice that DD will be leaving. A very polite and nonspecific "thanks and good luck to you next year" type note. The team manager and Head Coach "unfriended" me on Facebook immediately. I don't understand why some adults have to act like children. Now I know we made the right decision.