Moving on to a new team

[JillMS923]

Thanks for all the validation! Feels good to know that it happens all the time. This is really hard because they have made her a better player. But what coach or org is really worth it if they don't, right? I know that old org is headed in the right direction, especially being so new to TB.

Next thing, I am thinking of writing a formal email to the coach. I would call but I am afraid the words wouldn't come out right. I also do not want to feel pressured into staying in old org. I'm not giving them an option, just trying to gracefully bow out for DD.

 

[fuzzy2651]

we try not to burn bridges as well . . . but have had to do so on occasion. first team DD left, tried to call HC, could not get a hold of them, left voicemail, and spoke to head of org. second team coach called us, said DD had spot, but might not see a lot of PT, we left on very good terms, she still sees that Hc for private instruction. third team we left, HC was plain and simple an a$$hole, sent text simply saying DD would not be with them in spring (only played one fall with them, hard to get DD to ride out even that). last team, no formal announcement either way, pretty clear form texts back and forth).

What really rubbed a lot of parents the wrong way this year was a few weeks ago, the HC has a parent meeting and says "I'm not going to beg anyone to come back". That's fine, but after our last tournament of the season last weekend, he didn't make any phone calls saying "Hey, I'd really like to have Susie back on the team next year". It was "What are your plans for next year?" 7 out of the 11 girls on the team ended up leaving.

 

[JillMS923]

If they recognize her talent, they will know that she would be stifled continuing to play at that level and will fully expect her to leave to move up at some point. They might be sad to lose her, but they shouldn't be angry or resentful. And if they are, sorry, but you have to do what is best for your kid.

That's exactly how I feel. I think my DD made a good decision. I think there were advantages also staying with her old team but at the end of the day, she wants the challenge and the chance to play higher level. Even an A level coach was asking about her. We can't keep her at a C level when she is clearly above it.

 

[denise_anngolf]

I totally know how you feel. We have had to do this a couple times. If the coach is a "true" good coach, he/she will totally understand and support your decision to move on to a higher level team. Teammates with have a hard time with it as they panic in situations like that and start second guessing their decision to stay. Every team my DD has ever played on has respected our decision to move on so we have been fortunate. This is the first year, we don't have to go through the tryout process. So glad we are staying with the same team. Good luck!

 

[CoachKevin]

At he younger ages it seems like the Coaches do sometimes hold resentful feelings towards players who leave. I have had those feelings as a young coach too, but I learned that players wanting to challenge themselves and move to a higher class, who am I to try and stop them. Just be aware, that some may/will bad mouth you and your DD, but you have to do what is best for her.
Just a quick face to face with the coach and tell them she wants to play at a higher level than the current team is playing.

 

[JillMS923]

Saying goodbye the first time is really hard.

Yes! So true! Just learning this now!

 

[JillMS923]

2nd part: Mentioned earlier, DD tried out for new org last year. They offered a spot with the condition that she may not see a lot of mound time. Told old coach we were considering the offer because it would be a good opportunity and she would try to earn a better pitching spot. Old coach tried very hard to have her stay with the team by giving us a better offer (no details included) so we stayed. And during this past season, there have been little hints to DD continuing to stay with old org and more ways of convincing us to stay (again, no details included). So I know it's going to be tough. Wish I knew how they are really going to take the news because I do respect that org and the coaches. I know there's a really good chance that they are either going to be sad or angry since they are trying hard to keep her. I also hope that the parents of her teammates do not "talk" badly about her. Especially because one of them is her classmate. It would make for an awkward situation and I know how parents like to "talk".

 

[Orange Socks]

2nd part: Mentioned earlier, DD tried out for new org last year. They offered a spot with the condition that she may not see a lot of mound time. Told old coach we were considering the offer because it would be a good opportunity and she would try to earn a better pitching spot. Old coach tried very hard to have her stay with the team by giving us a better offer (no details included) so we stayed. And during this past season, there have been little hints to DD continuing to stay with old org and more ways of convincing us to stay (again, no details included). So I know it's going to be tough. Wish I knew how they are really going to take the news because I do respect that org and the coaches. I know there's a really good chance that they are either going to be sad or angry since they are trying hard to keep her. I also hope that the parents of her teammates do not "talk" badly about her. Especially because one of them is her classmate. It would make for an awkward situation and I know how parents like to "talk".

Parents will talk no matter the team. They have lots of time to kill at practices and games. That's part of the fun.

Who's moving team?
What team is joining what organization?
Which coach is stepping down?
XYZ college just offered lil Susie full ride!
lil Susie got lot's of attention at XYZ camp!
So and so coach went ballistic at Nationals and half the team is leaving!

It goes on and on.

 

[murphdog]

Wow thats terrible. I would have left that team just because of that coach.

That was a big part of the reason we were leaving.
I didn’t find out about it until 3 years later when DD had graduated and was heading to college. Her coach presented all of the graduating players with gifts and said a few words about each. And when he got to her he said that the best decision he ever made was not listening to the coach who said not to take her.

 

[CMMom1740]

2nd part: Mentioned earlier, DD tried out for new org last year. They offered a spot with the condition that she may not see a lot of mound time. Told old coach we were considering the offer because it would be a good opportunity and she would try to earn a better pitching spot. Old coach tried very hard to have her stay with the team by giving us a better offer (no details included) so we stayed. And during this past season, there have been little hints to DD continuing to stay with old org and more ways of convincing us to stay (again, no details included). So I know it's going to be tough. Wish I knew how they are really going to take the news because I do respect that org and the coaches. I know there's a really good chance that they are either going to be sad or angry since they are trying hard to keep her. I also hope that the parents of her teammates do not "talk" badly about her. Especially because one of them is her classmate. It would make for an awkward situation and I know how parents like to "talk".

You need to not be surprised and not take it personally if they react badly. It's a statement about them, not you. When I pulled my children from the Tae Kwon Do studio they had attended for years to transfer to another location, the head instructor (who had never been anything but nice; as a matter of fact, was too jokey-jokey with the kids) got nasty with me. He said, "Well, your kids aren't very athletic anyway." Um, excuse me??? We're resorting to insults now? People act strangely when their feelings and/or egos are hurt.