Looking for some advice on HS ball because this dad is driving the struggle bus (Sorry another HS topic)

[JayW]

Or, the coaches just think the #1 pitcher is better. Look, I don't agree with the coaches not getting her any time. But, HS plays 2, maybe 3, games per week. If you have a #1 pitcher you think gives you the best chance to win it's not unreasonable to have her pitch every game. These coaches are looking to win so that they keep their jobs. If they think that the upperclassmen give them the best chance to win that's who they are going to play. Like I said, I don't agree, but it's not crazy. I have seen club teams pitch the same girl in every game of a tournament (3 on Sat and 3 on Sun). So pitching 2 or 3 games in a week isn't anything out of the ordinary.

The best advice that was ever given to me regarding softball is to make sure that my daughter could play more than 1 position. You may be an all-county shortstop, but there could be an all-state shortstop ahead of you in high school for the next 4 years.

My advice for the OP would be to finish out the year. After the season, talk to the coach about the option of having your daughter pitch on JV during the days that varsity doesn't have games. Ultimately, it is the coach's decision, there is no "appeal" that you can make. You can either make the best of it for the next year and a half until the #1 graduates or you daughter can quit and not play. As long as she's getting reps with her club team, then have her focus on that. If you want her to get extra reps look to try to guest on other club teams. It sucks, I understand that. But sports are rarely "fair" at any level.

The AC guarantees that his DD is a “better” pitcher if she gets all the innings. Our HS coach pitches his DD 80% of the time (a D1 commit as a non-pitcher) but at least the 3 other pitchers have thrown some innings.

And there’s no way the team is better off throwing only one pitcher. Most pitchers are less effective the third time around the batting order. And there is always the possibility of injury to the starter. Why not have a backup who has thrown some innings?

There is not much point in playing for a coach who has told the player she has no chance of pitching any innings.

 

[El Oso]

Her team just played a non conference game this last week and one pitcher made her first appearance of the season. Prior to that it was the same 3 pitchers every week.

She made an appearance. You just proved my point. Thank you.

 

[El Oso]

These coaches are looking to win so that they keep their jobs.

Hahaha..............You know if this were true, your argument as well as others, would make more sense. But it's simply not true. Most HS softball coaches don't have to win to keep their jobs. The HS softball team's winning % is well down the list of things the school's AD and principal are concerned with. All the softball coach basically needs to do is keep the drama down and away from the AD and Principal. Hence all the AD's here telling the OP to not go visit the AD. Ha!

 

[El Oso]

Saying "nothing" is just a shame.

Yes telling her "nothing" as an answer is not acceptable and the AD should know about it. If nothing else the AD can talk to the coach about it and the coach will learn to come up with some better answers for these kids. Plus the AD needs to know that the coach is using a hierarchy instead of playing the best players because according to some folks here, since the coach needs to win to keep his job, the AD should know that he's not doing all he can to win games and is instead playing people solely based on a hierarchy.

 

[erniekru]

The team is 4-2 currently. In the 2 losses it was clear by the 5th inning it wasn't going to end well as they were down by several runs. And thank you for the advice, I keep trying to remind myself that travel ball is just around the corner and it will be different but having my kid come home in tears almost every night is driving me insane and for the coach to tell her that there is absolutely nothing she can do to get into the starting lineup is beyond frustrating. I've had players I coach come up and ask me what they can do to play more, and I know the hill is steep for them, but I still give them what they need to improve. Saying "nothing" is just a shame.

I know this thread already has 12 pages, seems like presenting the same opinions over and over. I would recommend you take a step back and as a parent analyze how you can make a teachable moment from this.

It is unrealistic to imagine that if your DD has aspirations to play college ball that she won't run into a huge helping of adversity pursing this choice of hers. To be coming in tears almost every night over a tough HS ball situation is not helping her accomplish her goals.

I would reaffirm to her that her life is going to have good teachers and bad, good bosses and bad ones, and the same regarding coaches and teams. The ONLY universal is outworking everyone else, even the imaginary ones, and doing your best to improve as a player and as a person. The players will end up playing and these bouts of adversity only sharpen your DD's skills and harden her toughness.

Quitting should not be an option if she wants to continue to play into college.

Good luck and I hope things get better!

 

[GunnerShotgun]

Quitting should not be an option if she wants to continue to play into college.

I don't disagree with anything you said but at the end of the day, sports is a form of entertainment. Imagine if your child came home from the movies every time crying about the poor experience they had at the movie theater.

I might encourage my child not to go to the movies anymore.

 

[JumboJack]

She made an appearance. You just proved my point. Thank you.

If your point was that somebody should play once out of 50+ games and in a game that absolutely did not matter then yeah I guess I did…

And if the OP’s DD comes home crying every night after not playing in high school, she’s going to do a lot more crying in college more than likely. Especially as a freshman.

What a lot of people cannot fathom is, high school ball (and college even more so) is not travel ball. In travel ball, there is a realistic expectation Regarding a certain amount of playing time. Even though all coaches say that playing time is earned, when you’re paying travel ball bucks you know that your kid will get to play.

HS all bets are off. Like numerous people have pointed out, you only play one or two games a week in high school. Not the six, eight, 10 in a weekend that you do in travel ball. The OP‘s daughter is not in a unheard of situation as far as high school playing time goes.


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[erniekru]

I don't disagree with anything you said but at the end of the day, sports is a form of entertainment. Imagine if your child came home from the movies every time crying about the poor experience they had at the movie theater.

I might encourage my child not to go to the movies anymore.

Completely true. However, I think for those that have decided to pursue playing in college there are going to be some hardships ahead, no?

Forgive me if I missed it, but from what I've read, there were no statements regarding the coach being abusive or any other cues that the tears are from treatment of the player by the coach(es)??

The tears are from lack of playing time only?

 

[soonerfan1966]

Coaches are human and will make mistakes like everyone else. The problem is when the mistakes become habit and/or intentional. As I have said before some coaches are "book" coaches and some coaches know how to coach. If a high school coach is incompetent either intentionally or mistakenly he/she can absolutely ruin 2/3 years of a young players short high school career.

 

[LEsoftballdad]

I am a little touchy when age is factored in. Many will recall that I was posting that I was done coaching last year. Then, an emergency happened and the school that I am at needed a HC. I jumped back in. I still think I have something to offer. I do understand that many most likely view me the same way and think it is time I step to the side. It is the way of all things.

Age isn't the issue. My daughters train with a retired former D1 coach who's 78 years old. He has more energy than most guys half his age.