Interesting Conundrum (Family vs. Softball)

[SamG]

So here's a different one...

This is our first year on a travel program. (We've played Rec All stars in the past the 2nd half of the summer). DD is 2nd year 12U. Before we hooked up with this program, we booked a family vacation out of state. I told the coach this multiple times before he choose DD for his team, and while we'll be missing at least one, if not two tournaments, he was fine with it.

I told myself this would be the last "summer" family vacation (aside from those to softball fields. lol).

So now the problem... while talking to my mom today she said my dad and her would like to take the family (including my sister, her husband, and their 2 year old) on a "large" family vacation in the summer of 2012... all expenses paid.

She says we have until the end of the year to make a decision. My gut right now is in about July or August, talk to TB coach, explain the situation and see if there's a certain time that's better.

I can't exactly say "no" to my mom. While DD says she'd like to play college ball, I don't know that that will happen.

What would you do?

 

[amanda_cake]

What would your DD do? Would it be possible for others to go and for her to stay behind?

If she's anything like I was at 12... well, it wouldn't be humanly possible for you to take me away at 12. We been on two non-softball related vacations my entire life. They were on non-softball weekends. I've given up out of state trips to go to practice, I've given up my senior trip, my Key Club convention, my 8th grade field trip... pretty much everything normal people would do.

But guess what? I don't regret a minute of it. When I was leaving the house this afternoon at 12:30 (to go coach a 10u game) when my family was about to sit down to a huge Easter lunch, I was thinking of how I wouldn't do this differently for the world.

Come hell or high water, you wouldn't be able to keep me away from a ball field. I don't care who was paying for the vacation... I wouldn't be able to leave. I just wouldn't.

So, what does your DD have to say about this? How long will this vacation last in 2012?

 

[starsnuffer]

Learn to snowboard and have the family take a winter vacation to Colorado or Tahoe. That's what we do now

-W

 

[Sparky Guy]

She says we have until the end of the year to make a decision. My gut right now is in about July or August, talk to TB coach, explain the situation and see if there's a certain time that's better.

Will your daughter even be playing on the same team? Tryouts are in August. If you're reasonably sure your daughter will be on the same team next year here is what you do. Talk to the coach and see what major tournament he/she enters every year. Pay attention to when those tournaments are. Most are held at the same time every year. Then tell your mom you'd love an all expense paid vacation. Then give her the dates you can't make it. Do this early so you can get tentative dates from her.

After tryouts for the 2012 season tell the coach you have a large family obligation planned for the summer and give him the dates if you can. This way the coach will know it way before they even think about starting to work on the 2012 tournament schedule. If the coach is smart he/she will send out a note asking all the families if they have any obligations planned for the summer and plan the tournament schedule accordingly.

This way you get the best of both worlds. Quality time with your family and a coach who knows what it going on far enough in advance to plan for it. Everyone is a winner.

 

[BB875]

Communicate the conflict with the coach and go on the vacation. IMHO, You will regret it if you don't.

 

[fastpitch]

How competitive/dedicated are the players on this team? IMHO the difference between a true "A" team and a "B" team is the level of commitment and sacrifice of its players/families. If its an "A" level team and she is missing a national tournament or similar in the summer I imagine it would be a big deal to not be there. If its just a single random tournament on a weekend in July on a "B" level team; I would communicate that before final commitments are made for next season. There's no reason to talk about it with the coach now.

You can also ask your mom if she can schedule it within the last 2 weeks of August. That's pretty much softball dead season.

 

[Sparky Guy]

You can also ask your mom if she can schedule it within the last 2 weeks of August. That's pretty much softball dead season.

I know by me the kids can be returning to school during the last two weeks of August. That may not be an option for the family.

 

[SBdad]

Your DD is only 12 for goodnes sakes!! She should go with you and her grandparents on the vacation. Don't know the age of your parents, but what if this is the last time your DD ever got to vacation with them. There will be many more tournaments to attend in the future, grandparents might not be around the next year.

I know you/DD feel obligated to the team, but IMO, I think this family vaction should come first.....And, I don't think missing one tournament a year will affect whether she will or will not play college ball.

 

[SamG]

You can also ask your mom if she can schedule it within the last 2 weeks of August. That's pretty much softball dead season.

We generally start school in the middle of August, so that's not an option.

I wasn't advocating talking to the coach now. Like I said, I would wait until July/August of this year and touch base with him. For all I know, DD won't want to play with the team a 2nd year, or the coach may not want her back.

My mom turns 70 either this year or next, so we (AND DD) need to go on this trip... it's just getting scheduling down.

 

[fastpitch]

We generally start school in the middle of August, so that's not an option.

I wasn't advocating talking to the coach now. Like I said, I would wait until July/August of this year and touch base with him. For all I know, DD won't want to play with the team a 2nd year, or the coach may not want her back.

My mom turns 70 either this year or next, so we (AND DD) need to go on this trip... it's just getting scheduling down.

Beginning of august might work also. Sounds like you are going on the trip, which I definitely agree with. But since you posted the question here, how competitive is this team? If its a team that plays a competitive schedule with the focus on nationals, I'd see what I could do to try and schedule the trip around nationals. If its just a weekend tournament or two she'd miss; I wouldn't worry too much about it and just mention it to the coach after tryouts. have fun!