I spoke with State directors in our area, and they told me that asking the coach is a courtesy and if they are in it for all the kids, they will have no problem "releasing" your kid. However, parents make the final call and actually do not need a coachs permission. They asked that if it came up and a coach didn't release a kid, just give them a call and they would bless it without the coachs involvement. Thats why I get the permission up front, in writing at the befinning of the season or we don't join.