How to handle this

[CoachKevin]

Long story short, I have a player that has been with us for 6 years since 10U, we are now a 2nd yr 14U. She is a great kid with a great glove and has played SS for the majority of the time. Did I also mention she is the slowest kid on the team? I really started to notice it during 2nd year 12U where her speed was becoming an issue, then last year there were many steal attempts where the catcher would throw the ball into CF because she couldn't get there fast enough.

Now this year, we picked up a couple of players that allows me to have a quicker SS. The parent questioned me why his DD isn't playing SS. I tried to be politically correct and told him the game is much faster now and I need her more at 1B. He still stands by his beliefs that his DD's speed doesn't really matter because she can keep up with the game. He has emailed me several times telling me he doesn't agree with my assessment.

Our HS Varsity Coach is involved with the Summer program, so I asked him what he thought of the player playing SS. His ideas were along the same lines as mine.

How do I make the parent take off those rose colored glasses and see the reality without being a total Jack A## and say your DD is too slow?

 

[quincy]

Sometimes you cannot. I have a running disagreement with a few parents and coaches.

The comment I always like is when the new player makes 100/101 plays, parent comments after the game “my DD would have made that play” on the 1 she missed. Obviously ignores the other 100 successful plays.

 

[mradosevic]

The way our team handles this is a player's contract that our players sign after the accept their offer (the parents get a signed copy) Our contract states that there is also no guarantee, stated or implied of playing a particular position.

Here's a copy:

Player Contract

Player Guidelines

BEHAVIOR

1. The player must conduct themselves as representatives of their families and their community at all times.
2. Profanity or sudden outbursts of negative emotion will not be tolerated in any situation or setting. The coaching
staff will deal with intentional premeditated outbursts or negative behavior harshly and promptly. Other types of
negative conduct, even though unexpected on the part of the player or parent, may also be subject to punishment.
3. Each player will be polite and courteous to team members, opponents, coaches, fans and officials
4. Punching, shoving or otherwise physically attaching anyone will not be tolerated.
5. The player must at all times in all aspects of their lives, attempt to reflect well on the team and the program.

PRACTICES

1. All practices are mandatory unless prior arrangements have been made with the coaches.
2. Parents / Guardians will arrange for transportation for the players promptly following the conclusion of practices
and games.

GAMES/TOURNAMENTS

1. The player must be in complete uniform in order to participate.
2. The player should arrive for their games on time, in proper attire with all appropriate gear for participation.
3. Sportsmanship conduct is expected of all participants. Inappropriate behavior may result in suspension or dismissal
from the team.


PLAYING TIME

1. The coaches, through his/her assessment of game situations and each player’s Talent Effort Skill and Motivation
will determine game playing time. Tardiness or absence from practices/games as well as a player's attitude will also
affect playing time. There is also no guarantee, stated or implied of playing a particular position.


I understand and agree to the above guidelines for participation in the <your program>. I understand
that if the guidelines are not followed, suspension, expulsion or any other appropriate enforcement action may be
enforced.


DATE:

PLAYER SIGNATURE

 

[KevinC]

Try explaining what the current SS is doing right instead of what the other player is doing wrong: they get to 2B before the throw, get to slow grounders quickly, etc. Tell them what she needs to improve in order to get time at SS. Do some speed drills in practice and suggest they work on them on their own.

You can also try to sell her and the parent on why you need her at 1B: I can trust you not to let anything get past, you know the position better than anyone else, etc.

And do this over in person or one the phone. Exchanging emails about this type of stuff is not a good idea in my opinion.

 

[abbygale]

This is a great post that you wrote. Tell him politely and honestly what you have written here. And then stand by it.

 

[sluggers]

A war story: I had a kid who was lightning fast and had a great arm, but not real accurate. For reasons unknown to me, someone made her a catcher. It was a total waste of her speed. Her parents weren't happy about the change. So, I buttered up her parents and her about why playing centerfield was a very important position, and how great she was going to play out there. The funny thing was that after she understood "why" she was going to be great playing there, she was all for it--she was way ahead of her dad. So, I said "But, look, you are going to have to work very hard at this. Playing CF isn't easy. If you can't play out there, I'll have to find someone else." She worked hard at it and became a fantastic outfielder. Softball-wise, it was the best thing that ever happened to her.

One problem is that you are looking at this as a negative. I.e., "she can't play SS, so I'm going to have to demote her." That isn't really accurate. Do you really thing Albert Pujols views playing 1B as a disgrace? Not likely.

Sometimes it helps to change perspectives and focus on helping the child achieve *her* goals. This really isn't about "she can't play SS". This is about, "Finding a position where she can excel."

Ask the child what she wants. She most likely will say, "Play in college." If so, then you can be frank with her and her father and say, "Your DD's goal is to play in college. Colleges don't recruit mediocre SSs. But, she can be great at 1B."

(A) Go through the list of "why" she would make a great 1B. Just list her attributes that make her great at 1B...good glove, knowledge of the game, good arm, quickness (I imagine the deal is that she has a quick 1st and 2nd step, but can't run.) etc. It is pretty hard for any parent to be upset when you are talking about his DD's attributes.
(B) Then, go through everything she has to learn. (A lot of girls can play 1B, but not many play 1B well.) To really play the position well, there is a ton of stuff for her work on. Make it a challenge.
(C) Tell them you want to make her the best 1B player in the world.

The player is on your side. She knows the other player is better at SS than her. So, give her the reasons why she will be better off at 1B, and she will take care of the rest.

 

[CoachKevin]

We talked last night about it after our practice. I stated that part of my job was to place players into positions where I felt they could be successful, thus the team can be successful, and at this point I need her at 1B.

Well another email this morning.... thus this post. It's not like the parent is being mean or demanding in any way, and we have known each other for years. It's not like that at all. I just really want him to look at the reality of it all. Sluggers, excellent post, thank you.

 

[obbay]

It sounds like you are handling it well.

Where I live there is a long line of girls on every team that want to play 1B.
She's lucky!

 

[CoachKevin]

Try explaining what the current SS is doing right instead of what the other player is doing wrong: they get to 2B before the throw, get to slow grounders quickly, etc. Tell them what she needs to improve in order to get time at SS. Do some speed drills in practice and suggest they work on them on their own.

You can also try to sell her and the parent on why you need her at 1B: I can trust you not to let anything get past, you know the position better than anyone else, etc.

And do this over in person or one the phone. Exchanging emails about this type of stuff is not a good idea in my opinion.

I try not to compare players to each other especially when addressing another player or parent. I agree with the emails, that is why I talked to him last night, but alas another email to me stating that when I said the game is getting faster it hurt his DD feelings as now she thinks she isn't good enough. Gotta love 14/15 year olds!

 

[Bucketrider]

Sluggers for President!