How to handle the know everything coach???

[GiasDad]

Hello all,

I am sort of new just been reading the threads and not posted much but have a question. My DD is playing 10U A ball and is a lefty slapper who can also hit for power. Obviously power is relative at 9 years old but she has cracked 3 HR's this season where she hits it over the right fielder and motors around the bases. She goes to an outstanding hitting instructor once a week and he (and my DD) are solely responsible for her success. Her hitting instructor is also the President of the organization she plays for, however he is not involved with the 10U team much as her has a lot of other stuff going on. I am an assistant coach who is learning the game as I go with her, but we have two coaches who are constantly trying to work on hitting with my DD. They are both very aware she sees an instructor and in the sport I have played in college and coached a high school team (golf), if a kid was seeing an instructor you let them practice but you did not mess with their swing.

For example, yesterday as we were warming up doing soft toss, the girls hit probably 30 balls each into the net and move on, well one coach kept my DD there for at least 100 swings giving her instruction and messing with her swing. To me it seems insane to do this in this situation #1, but also I get the feeling he wants his finger prints on her if and when she succeeds and every time this coach does soft toss with her she fails miserably. Granted it has been only a few games but each one she is puts up an 0 fer. I also could be nuts and over analyzing the situation, she is only 9!

I am not the manager so I feel awkward approaching them and saying hey leave my DD alone, but I do not know how to approach or if I even should.

HELP!!

 

[KCPRK]

As a coach you should leave the hitters alone who see a qualified instructor. If a coach is to adjust or support a hitter that coach should make the effort to learn the key words and that weeks focus from the student and instructor otherwise you have counter coaching which every coach hates yet as in this case its the coach counter coaching

 

[James Smith]

A polite, Hey, leave her alone seems in order. It sounds like you know the drill from your coaching experience.

Good news for her is that they should be able to get to your DD’s hitting coach easily if they do not like what she is being taught.

Not on topic probably but at that age 2 coaches were telling DD 2 different things. It is hard enough to hit the dang thing without getting different advice from multiple people.

The title of your post suggests you might have additional issues with the coach. At this age a lot of them are just learning too. You need to see if they grow as coaches or are stuck in their ways.

 

[obbay]

Unfortunately, at that age, a lot of coaches feel enpowered to tell a kid what to do because they think they know so much more than the kid. Most men have played baseball and think softball is baseball dumbed-down for girls.

as someone here has posted- its what you learn after you know it all that counts!

 

[AndyS]

It is hard to give great advice without knowing more. First what specific recommendations are the coaches making? Keeping your DD in for extra swings and instruction could actually be a good thing..or bad as you imply but it would seem to depend on what specific things they are recommending.

If they are recommending something specific that contradicts her hitting instructor then that is how you have the conversation with them. Focus on those specifics and it could potentially be a more productive conversation.

 

[SoCal_Dad]

...For example, yesterday as we were warming up doing soft toss, the girls hit probably 30 balls each into the net and move on, well one coach kept my DD there for at least 100 swings giving her instruction and messing with her swing. To me it seems insane to do this in this situation #1, but also I get the feeling he wants his finger prints on her if and when she succeeds and every time this coach does soft toss with her she fails miserably. Granted it has been only a few games but each one she is puts up an 0 fer. I also could be nuts and over analyzing the situation, she is only 9!

I am not the manager so I feel awkward approaching them and saying hey leave my DD alone, but I do not know how to approach or if I even should.

You can verify your sanity by what your DD thinks about what the coach(es) are doing and whether it conflicts with what her instructor is teaching her. If they were messing up her swing, I would expect her to say something to you and the instructor. The instructor should provide guidance on it.

If the instructor says their efforts are counterproductive, you should relay the message and invite them to attend a lesson. Regardless, it's not uncommon to give coaches the instructor's contact info so they can communicate with them.

 

[GiasDad]

You can verify your sanity by what your DD thinks about what the coach(es) are doing and whether it conflicts with what her instructor is teaching her. If they were messing up her swing, I would expect her to say something to you and the instructor. The instructor should provide guidance on it.

If the instructor says their efforts are counterproductive, you should relay the message and invite them to attend a lesson. Regardless, it's not uncommon to give coaches the instructor's contact info so they can communicate with them.

It is not what they say but how they say it. Her instructor has a good relationship with her and they work well together. The coach just says things and makes no sense and does not explain them.

For example, the coach was telling her to slow down when she slaps, which was actually good advice, but when you simply tell a 9 year old to slow down she has no idea exactly what you mean especially 30 minutes before a game. Her instructor noticed the same thing and spent an hour getting her to start her steps later and it worked.

I am going to ask the instructor how to approach it today.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

If I was an assistant coach and I saw my DD taking 100 swings at a station, I would just call her over or go tell her to move on.

 

[CycloneSoftball22]

If I was an assistant coach and I saw my DD taking 100 swings at a station, I would just call her over or go tell her to move on.

Lets just move this to the thread about not having coaches. The parents always have the answers anyway.

 

[sluggers]

Let's be gentle...GiasDad is a newbie.

GiasDad, this is a common problem. Essentially, you are spending a lot of money on a person coach (hitting/fielding/pitching coach) for your DD, and then the team coach with little expertise starts correcting the DD.

I am not the manager so I feel awkward approaching them and saying hey leave my DD alone, but I do not know how to approach or if I even should.

There are two approaches to this problem:

1) The direct confrontation approach. Basically, you tell the coach to leave your DD alone. Some coaches are mature enough to handle it, some aren't. If he isn't, then you and your DD are in for a lot of headaches, because every out your DD makes will be your fault. Since your DD is likely a .500 hitter, that means you personally will be blamed for two outs every game.

You should also know that if your DD is "good", you will have an endless line of people who want to help your DD. Plan on spending a great deal of time in confronting coaches, umpires, parents and random strangers. In other words, it is a full time job.

2) The "smile and nod" approach. The "smile and nod" is where your DD appears to listen to the coach. She then gives that wonderful young girl smile, and then nods vigorously. The DD then should move quickly away from the bozo, promptly forgetting what she was told/taught.

The downside of the "smile and nod" is that some people have real knowledge which is helpful. So, you have to teach your DD how to evaluate whether the person giving the advice actually knows something...which is, of course, an important life lesson in itself.