I see constant turnover, most of which occur when the commitment level of the players/families differ. Some (usually the better) players want to take advantage of bigger organizations with access to year round facilities and college level instructors, where they can practice several nights a week if they are willing/able to afford that luxury. Others play more or less as for the social aspect and one practice a week is all the time they are willing to put in. I have seen some very good coaches lose significant numbers due to this separation of commitment. I think to keep a core group together for an extended period they all need to have similar goals and expectations. If in a similar situation, I guess I would ask my DD what her goals are. If its just to play, have fun, and have the parent/coach bond. I would continue to coach and develop players. If she wants to play at a high level, and a group can not be put together with the same aspirations, it may be time find a team next season with similar goals.
How many of you quit coaching over the bull...?
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- Jun 24, 2013
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It also takes time to weed through the drama. Cut drama girls and their families as soon as possible. That can also be cancerous to your team. Sometimes when one person leaves it can be the door others were waiting on to open so they could leave too. Or it could be the light bulb moment they were waiting for. I have been in your shoes and it sucks to be treated that way. Love you one minute, hate you the next. Look at what the complaints are. Either there is some truth to what they are saying or there is not. I tell people upfront. We are not about winning at all costs. I would rather do the slow build and grow together as a team rather than play hot potato and pick the hottest player on the market and kick off a girl who hasn't developed as much yet. That seems to have helped.
Also make sure you elevate your game as well (if you have not already). Get some DVD's of the latest coaching techniques out there and see how they stack up to what you currently teach. Is it the girls are not developing or they are developing too slowly?
Someone mentioned 10U and 12U, those can be high drama ages as some parents are new to TB and feel the "grass is greener" feelings when they see team X doing better in tourneys than your team.
One way around it is to mix up your schedule. If all you do is go play A or B level competition and are getting killed most of the time (as evidenced by your .200 winning average) then maybe you need to mix in some C levels to get the girls confidence back up. Face it, no one likes to continually get beat time and again. I understand it from the coaches perspective (I am one) that the girls will get better quicker from playing better competition, but that still does not assage the human desire to be part of a winning team.
I have purposely lost games so that we would get slotted in a lower bracket (think gold/silver or A/B). The parents were furious with the coaching staff when we "lost" that game that we "should have" won. We were thought of as "bad" coaches because we could not get it done against a team we could have beat. We were a very young team (as far as time together) and I knew we didn't stand a chance against the teams in the A portion of the bracket. I knew we would get slaughtered and lose not only the elimination game, but the consolation game as well, losing both in a bad manner. We would have went home with a record of 2-3 with our tail between our legs and the team would have felt bad getting slaughtered on Sunday. We won our 1st pool game, and were scheduled for an "a" level team for our 3rd pool game, So instead of winning our 2nd pool game, I purposely did things to lose the game (pitching the #3 and #4 pitchers, playing players at other positions, etc). We lost and then got killed by that A team that night. So our record was 1-2 and we got bracketed in the B side of the single elimination w/cons game bracket. We were competitive in our game (but still lost) and we went on to kill the team we played in our consolation game. The girls and the parents were happy, we went home on a good note. We finished with the same record as we would have had, if we would not have purposely lost that 2nd game (2-3) but we went home on a much more positive note. I called the parents aside (without the players) after the cons game and explained it to them. Then they understood why the coaching staff "sucked" during that one game. I also let them know that, yeah we could have beat that team, but the talent we would have faced on Sunday would have been too much for the girls and I didn't want them to feel defeated. The parents agreed that facing competition on Sunday that was on par with that A team we faced on Saturday night (when we got absolutely slaughtered), would not have been good for the girls self-esteem and experience level that they were currently at.
I tell you this to show that perhaps you might want to take your team down a level sometimes to help build their confidence and remind them of what winning feels like. This also helps the parents too. Now I am not say stay down longer than you should and fill your trophy case because you can just dominate at that level, but also don't stay up too long and have the girls and parents get beat down so much that they want to leave your team for "greener" pastures.
Also make sure you elevate your game as well (if you have not already). Get some DVD's of the latest coaching techniques out there and see how they stack up to what you currently teach. Is it the girls are not developing or they are developing too slowly?
Someone mentioned 10U and 12U, those can be high drama ages as some parents are new to TB and feel the "grass is greener" feelings when they see team X doing better in tourneys than your team.
One way around it is to mix up your schedule. If all you do is go play A or B level competition and are getting killed most of the time (as evidenced by your .200 winning average) then maybe you need to mix in some C levels to get the girls confidence back up. Face it, no one likes to continually get beat time and again. I understand it from the coaches perspective (I am one) that the girls will get better quicker from playing better competition, but that still does not assage the human desire to be part of a winning team.
I have purposely lost games so that we would get slotted in a lower bracket (think gold/silver or A/B). The parents were furious with the coaching staff when we "lost" that game that we "should have" won. We were thought of as "bad" coaches because we could not get it done against a team we could have beat. We were a very young team (as far as time together) and I knew we didn't stand a chance against the teams in the A portion of the bracket. I knew we would get slaughtered and lose not only the elimination game, but the consolation game as well, losing both in a bad manner. We would have went home with a record of 2-3 with our tail between our legs and the team would have felt bad getting slaughtered on Sunday. We won our 1st pool game, and were scheduled for an "a" level team for our 3rd pool game, So instead of winning our 2nd pool game, I purposely did things to lose the game (pitching the #3 and #4 pitchers, playing players at other positions, etc). We lost and then got killed by that A team that night. So our record was 1-2 and we got bracketed in the B side of the single elimination w/cons game bracket. We were competitive in our game (but still lost) and we went on to kill the team we played in our consolation game. The girls and the parents were happy, we went home on a good note. We finished with the same record as we would have had, if we would not have purposely lost that 2nd game (2-3) but we went home on a much more positive note. I called the parents aside (without the players) after the cons game and explained it to them. Then they understood why the coaching staff "sucked" during that one game. I also let them know that, yeah we could have beat that team, but the talent we would have faced on Sunday would have been too much for the girls and I didn't want them to feel defeated. The parents agreed that facing competition on Sunday that was on par with that A team we faced on Saturday night (when we got absolutely slaughtered), would not have been good for the girls self-esteem and experience level that they were currently at.
I tell you this to show that perhaps you might want to take your team down a level sometimes to help build their confidence and remind them of what winning feels like. This also helps the parents too. Now I am not say stay down longer than you should and fill your trophy case because you can just dominate at that level, but also don't stay up too long and have the girls and parents get beat down so much that they want to leave your team for "greener" pastures.
I sympathise with you. There are many teams around here that I see go through the same things that you go through. Maybe you answered this, but are you part of a group that has teams in each age group? It seems the larger organizations are the ones that are surviving around here.
Cmustang, Losing on purpose around here, is reason for dismissal from coaching. It isn't tolerated. We have one coach that did exactly that and he was suspended for some time. I really have never heard of it, after having 3 kids in sports for a long time.
Cmustang, Losing on purpose around here, is reason for dismissal from coaching. It isn't tolerated. We have one coach that did exactly that and he was suspended for some time. I really have never heard of it, after having 3 kids in sports for a long time.
- Jun 24, 2013
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Amy, it is called knowing what you got. We were building this team for a specific tournament and had to get in 3 tourneys ASAP. This team had not developed the team chemistry we needed yet. We also had to fight many of the same demons that the OP was facing. As "new" coaches to the area (we were not new to coaching but were new to this community) we had parents of some of our girls that were told by several of the other local TB teams parents and TB coaches (who were trying to recruit our girls) that we were going to go down there and get slaughtered and we wouldn't win a single game. We didn't know what we were doing, etc, etc. In these tournaments, pool play determined where you played on Sunday. It was an open tournament so I knew there were going to be teams from all levels signed up. After pool play they split the teams into A and B brackets to match likewise talent. Just because we were lucky enough to draw 2 B level teams and 1 A level team in our pool play, didn't mean I wanted our team to experience that A level buzzsaw just yet, 1 game would be fine, thank you. We weren't dominating the B level talent, but we could compete against them. I also knew that I didn't want my girls to be slaughtered, but needed to get them some (brief) experience against stiffer competition to show them what we were working towards. Previous coaches from the area had done just that, took their teams down to this tourney and got slaughtered. They went to maybe 2 tourneys before the parents had seen enough. The teams broke up and several girls left softball because of it. So I made a coaching decision to put my girls in the best possible position. I also didn't "throw" the game by having the girls leave base early or calling meatballs down the center of the plate. I just didn't play my best stuff. I let other girls who needed mound time get some experience and some other girls who would not normally get lots of playing time to get some experience they would not otherwise get. We didn't lose horribly, only by a couple of runs, so they girls felt like they competed.
Let me change my words to say that I didn't lose the game on purpose, I strategically placed my infield to achieve a desired result. So if someone wanted to get rid of me for doing that, then so be it, but if I would have failed miserably like the previous coaches had done (and current coaches at other levels were doing) , I would have been gone anyways and the girls would have been worse for wear. I went down there to build these girls up and that is what I did. They left that weekend feeling like they could take on the world. We all know how winning can inflate their image of themselves and how losing can destroy their confidence. I wanted them to have a little confidence in the tank to draw on in later tourneys. We did end up winning that tournament that we were preparing for and I even strategically placed my infield in a game in that tourney as well so that the girls could play one more game in front of their families and friends since it was local, while the other tourneys were farther away.
Let me change my words to say that I didn't lose the game on purpose, I strategically placed my infield to achieve a desired result. So if someone wanted to get rid of me for doing that, then so be it, but if I would have failed miserably like the previous coaches had done (and current coaches at other levels were doing) , I would have been gone anyways and the girls would have been worse for wear. I went down there to build these girls up and that is what I did. They left that weekend feeling like they could take on the world. We all know how winning can inflate their image of themselves and how losing can destroy their confidence. I wanted them to have a little confidence in the tank to draw on in later tourneys. We did end up winning that tournament that we were preparing for and I even strategically placed my infield in a game in that tourney as well so that the girls could play one more game in front of their families and friends since it was local, while the other tourneys were farther away.
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02Crush,
Around here I can tell you your situation is NOT unique. In fact it would be unique if you weren't going through that.
I agree the bigger orgs fair better, but I have also seen their teams fold completely as well and seen large orgs disolve down to a team or two.
We had a great year. Won some B tournaments and beat a bunch of teams most people (other then ourselves) thought we had no business beating with sound fundamentals.
Then had a lot of turnover at the end of the year.
If I told you the turnover didn't get to me I would be lying, but every other coach I know is dealing with the same thing, and some worse then we are.
You just have to love it!
Around here I can tell you your situation is NOT unique. In fact it would be unique if you weren't going through that.
I agree the bigger orgs fair better, but I have also seen their teams fold completely as well and seen large orgs disolve down to a team or two.
We had a great year. Won some B tournaments and beat a bunch of teams most people (other then ourselves) thought we had no business beating with sound fundamentals.
Then had a lot of turnover at the end of the year.
If I told you the turnover didn't get to me I would be lying, but every other coach I know is dealing with the same thing, and some worse then we are.
You just have to love it!
- Oct 19, 2009
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Coaching is not easy by no means, I’ve found myself heartbroken many times because some kid that had a lot of talent quit, or a kid that wanted to play was made to quit because a divorce and one parent wanted to spite the other or finding ourselves in the championship run in a world tournament and 2 kids decide they wanted to loose so they could go sightseeing and shopping.
I also coached 3 kids (I coached football also) that are doctors, 2 lawyers, 2 that graduated West Point and a host of others who have become good solid citizens. Playing a small part in their yearly years made me very proud. When good people quit giving their time and effort, then the people with bad influence take over.
I’ve had a few that went the other way of drugs, crime and pregnancy. All in all I think it was worth it.
Bear Bryant:
“The old lessons (work, self-discipline, sacrifice, teamwork, fighting to achieve) aren’t being taught by many people other than coaches these days. The coach has a captive audience and can teach these lessons because the communication lines between himself and the players are more wide open than between kids and parents. We better teach these lessons or else the country’s future population will be made up of a majority of crooks, drug addicts, or people on relief.”*
I also coached 3 kids (I coached football also) that are doctors, 2 lawyers, 2 that graduated West Point and a host of others who have become good solid citizens. Playing a small part in their yearly years made me very proud. When good people quit giving their time and effort, then the people with bad influence take over.
I’ve had a few that went the other way of drugs, crime and pregnancy. All in all I think it was worth it.
Bear Bryant:
“The old lessons (work, self-discipline, sacrifice, teamwork, fighting to achieve) aren’t being taught by many people other than coaches these days. The coach has a captive audience and can teach these lessons because the communication lines between himself and the players are more wide open than between kids and parents. We better teach these lessons or else the country’s future population will be made up of a majority of crooks, drug addicts, or people on relief.”*
cmustangsfp said it all when he said, "Cut drama girls and their families as soon as possible. That can also be cancerous to your team."
Drama queens, regardless of how good they might be, will generally result in more harm to team unity than they add in talent, and should be completely avoided.
Drama queens, regardless of how good they might be, will generally result in more harm to team unity than they add in talent, and should be completely avoided.
AMEN! Help 1 and harm 9 or help 9 and let go of 1.
Funny thing. In the summer of 2012, when my DD decided, at the ripe old age of 14, that she wanted to try softball, I signed her up for the local summer rec league just to make sure she was serious. I volunteered to help with the rec team. I coached a fairly successful travelball team roughly 15 years ago. Well, at the end of the season we started a competitive team from remnants of her rec team and other rec teams. One of the girls I made sure came to our tryouts was probably looked the clumsiest of all the rec-ball players on DD's team. HOWEVER, she had the right heart, the right type of parents, a lot of dedication, and loyalty. Now, after a little over a full season of competitive play, she's what I consider a "foundational" player in that she is always there (never misses practices/games). Just this past season I felt she had hidden potential in pitching. Well, after a few months of pitching instruction, I'm really excited to see a developing pitcher in her. I firmly believe this girl is going to end up being quite a good pitcher, and, aside from her long fingers and the fact she's going to be tall, I attribute it to that heart, her parents, her dedication, and her loyalty. She's the antithesis of drama queen! I'd take 12 players liker her any day over egotistical and more physically coordinated players. Funny thing is, I think she's really going to bloom in softball generally over the next three years.
