How do you deal with this?

[WARRIORMIKE]

I hate the cancer/poison on the team. I try to check that every year before the season. You don't need those parents on the team. Especially the last one that left. Just find and scout some new kids with better parents.


You'll be fine.......

 

[02Crush]

Thanks Everyone. We found a fill in for this weekend and have three leads now with more coming. I am constantly recruiting as a product of my desire in 10U to keep the roster # low. It is a risk but one I take to ensure the young ladies we teach get to play and learn from game reps. Bottom line, I always worry on the front end of these problems and yet it works itself out on the backside. We have a good player/family filling in this week to all will be good.

I almost sent an email tonight where I attached the team rules and said the following, "I am here for the team and it's player's. I am not here for you. Please remember Rule #1 for this team. We are here for the players development. Not Yours. Please not take this as rude but merely a reminder of the attached team rules. Please review them and remember, we will abide by them. There is some forgiveness however after repeated occurrences we will have to ask you to leave."

 

[TimothyJ]

I almost sent an email tonight where I attached the team rules and said the following, "I am here for the team and it's player's. I am not here for you.

A reminder of the team rules isn't a bad idea, but the tone you set will also play a big role in how it's received and followed.
I'd suggest less of a Me vs You stance, and in fact include yourself in the group of parents you are speaking about.

i.e: something like " Remember that we, as parents, are all here for these kids. Our goal is to help them develop skills that they will use both on and off the field, and to help them grow their love of the game. As parents, because we always want the best for, and from our children, it's easy for our own emotions to rise and overshadow those goals. This is why our team rules, which I've attached for your convenience, are so important. Please take a moment to review the rules again, yadda yadda"

I always started off seasons with a big speech to parents (with the kids present)It would start along the lines of:

"If we took all these kids, put them on the field and we (the parents) left... They would play softball. They'd pick teams, make up the rules, and then just play. And they'd have the time of their lives. The only thing that can ruin that... is us, the "grown ups"

At the 10u level, I'd assure them that no college scouts are coming to our games, so if they make a mistake, it's not going to blow their chance of that scholarship.

Finally, I'd explain how if a player is looking at, or listening to a parent, that means they cannot be focused on the game. Our common signal for parents and players was to point to home plate. If a parent saw their child looking at them ( as they tend to do after a swing/miss or error) pointing to home plate was the signal from the parent that it's Ok and they need to refocus. Likewise, if a parent did distract their child, the player would point to home plate also, indicating "Hey Dad, I'm trying to focus here"

I actually had alot of success with that. Parents would readily admit that it was difficult to follow at first, but the last thing any parent wanted was to be singled out as being a distraction because everyone saw their kid pointing at the plate

 

[CoachKevin]

A reminder of the team rules isn't a bad idea, but the tone you set will also play a big role in how it's received and followed.
I'd suggest less of a Me vs You stance, and in fact include yourself in the group of parents you are speaking about.

i.e: something like " Remember that we, as parents, are all here for these kids. Our goal is to help them develop skills that they will use both on and off the field, and to help them grow their love of the game. As parents, because we always want the best for, and from our children, it's easy for our own emotions to rise and overshadow those goals. This is why our team rules, which I've attached for your convenience, are so important. Please take a moment to review the rules again, yadda yadda"

I always started off seasons with a big speech to parents (with the kids present)It would start along the lines of:

"If we took all these kids, put them on the field and we (the parents) left... They would play softball. They'd pick teams, make up the rules, and then just play. And they'd have the time of their lives. The only thing that can ruin that... is us, the "grown ups"

At the 10u level, I'd assure them that no college scouts are coming to our games, so if they make a mistake, it's not going to blow their chance of that scholarship.

Finally, I'd explain how if a player is looking at, or listening to a parent, that means they cannot be focused on the game. Our common signal for parents and players was to point to home plate. If a parent saw their child looking at them ( as they tend to do after a swing/miss or error) pointing to home plate was the signal from the parent that it's Ok and they need to refocus. Likewise, if a parent did distract their child, the player would point to home plate also, indicating "Hey Dad, I'm trying to focus here"

I actually had alot of success with that. Parents would readily admit that it was difficult to follow at first, but the last thing any parent wanted was to be singled out as being a distraction because everyone saw their kid pointing at the plate

That is a great idea, if I ever go back to 10U I will use this idea. Thanks

 

[02Crush]

Thanks. I really like the point to home plate idea. Silent but Direct