- May 17, 2012
- 2,808
- 113
That's why they say the perfect travel ball team is 11 girls who are all orphans.
How do you deal with this?
- Thread starter 02Crush
- Start date
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02Crush
Way past gone
I completely understand your points. This is the decision I am struggling with. To this point I have been really creative for two years. It is getting harder due to an increased work load in recent months. Gonna have to figure it out.
I would say since we only have 9 I don't want to be in a bind if someone gets hurt as an excuse to have a open tryout or at least guest player come with for a few tournaments.
Parent B I would not be too concerned about, I would give him the "your DD needs positive reinforcement also" speech and make sure you give her kudos every time she does something positive.
Parent A....very short leash with a "commitment and consideration of others" speech
Parent B I would not be too concerned about, I would give him the "your DD needs positive reinforcement also" speech and make sure you give her kudos every time she does something positive.
Parent A....very short leash with a "commitment and consideration of others" speech
You must be telling her something completely different than he is telling her. To which I would ask him who is really confusing and frustrating her.
Either way, make sure they both know it's not a democracy, it's a dictatorship. If they don't like it, they are free to leave.
- Mar 31, 2013
- 58
- 0
This was written by Montville resident Bob Bedard.
Today I heard a comment made about me behind my back. I started to turn around and look, but then decided better of it and kept my eyes on the field. My wife hears things like this more often than I do, because many of you don’t know who she is. She tells me what you say. I have received angry emails, full of “suggestions,” about who should be playing where and how I... lost that day’s game for the kids. I thought I’d write an open letter to all of you parents, even though I might never send it. I’ll start it this way: “I am a volunteer.”
I’m the one who answered the call when the league said they didn’t have enough coaches. I understand that you were too busy. I have some news for you. I’m not retired. I’m busy too. I have other children and a job, just like you do. Not only do I not get paid to do this – it costs me money. I see you walk up to the game 15 minutes after it started, still dressed for work. Do you know I’ve already been here over an hour? Imagine if you had to leave work early nearly every day. I’ve never seen you at a practice. I’m sure you’re plugging away at the office. But I’m out here, on the field, trying my best to teach these children how to play a sport they love, while my bank account suffers.
I know. I make mistakes. In fact, maybe I’m not even that great of a coach. But I treat the kids fairly and with respect. I am pretty sure they like coming to my practices and games, and without me or someone like me, there’d be no team for them to play on. I’m part of this community too and it’s no picnic being out here on this stage like this. It’s a lot easier back there with the other parents where no one is second-guessing you.
And I also know you think I give my son or daughter unfair advantages. I try not to. In fact, have you ever considered that maybe I’m harder on him than on the others? I’m sure he hears plenty of criticism at school from classmates, who hear it from you at home, about what a lame coach I am. And if, even unconsciously, my kids are getting a slight advantage because I know them better and trust their abilities, is that the worst thing in the world, considering the sacrifice I’m making? Trust me, I want to win too. And if your son or daughter could guarantee we’d do that, I’d give them the chance.
After this game is over, I’ll be the last one to leave. I have to break down the field, put away all the equipment and make sure everyone has had a parent arrive to pick them up. There have been evenings when my son and I waited with a player until after dark before someone came to get them. Many nights I’m sure you’ve already had dinner and are relaxing on the couch by the time I finally kick the mud off my shoes and climb into my car, which hasn’t been washed or vacuumed for weeks. Why bother cleaning it during the season? Do you know how nice it would be if, just once, after a game one of you offered to carry the heavy gear bag to my car or help straighten up the field?
If I sound angry, I’m not. I do this because I love it and I love being around the kids. There are plenty of rewards and I remind myself that while you’re at the office working, your kid is saying something that makes us all laugh or brings a tear to my eye. The positives outweigh the negatives. I just wish sometime those who don’t choose to volunteer their time would leave the coaching to the few of us who do.
Today I heard a comment made about me behind my back. I started to turn around and look, but then decided better of it and kept my eyes on the field. My wife hears things like this more often than I do, because many of you don’t know who she is. She tells me what you say. I have received angry emails, full of “suggestions,” about who should be playing where and how I... lost that day’s game for the kids. I thought I’d write an open letter to all of you parents, even though I might never send it. I’ll start it this way: “I am a volunteer.”
I’m the one who answered the call when the league said they didn’t have enough coaches. I understand that you were too busy. I have some news for you. I’m not retired. I’m busy too. I have other children and a job, just like you do. Not only do I not get paid to do this – it costs me money. I see you walk up to the game 15 minutes after it started, still dressed for work. Do you know I’ve already been here over an hour? Imagine if you had to leave work early nearly every day. I’ve never seen you at a practice. I’m sure you’re plugging away at the office. But I’m out here, on the field, trying my best to teach these children how to play a sport they love, while my bank account suffers.
I know. I make mistakes. In fact, maybe I’m not even that great of a coach. But I treat the kids fairly and with respect. I am pretty sure they like coming to my practices and games, and without me or someone like me, there’d be no team for them to play on. I’m part of this community too and it’s no picnic being out here on this stage like this. It’s a lot easier back there with the other parents where no one is second-guessing you.
And I also know you think I give my son or daughter unfair advantages. I try not to. In fact, have you ever considered that maybe I’m harder on him than on the others? I’m sure he hears plenty of criticism at school from classmates, who hear it from you at home, about what a lame coach I am. And if, even unconsciously, my kids are getting a slight advantage because I know them better and trust their abilities, is that the worst thing in the world, considering the sacrifice I’m making? Trust me, I want to win too. And if your son or daughter could guarantee we’d do that, I’d give them the chance.
After this game is over, I’ll be the last one to leave. I have to break down the field, put away all the equipment and make sure everyone has had a parent arrive to pick them up. There have been evenings when my son and I waited with a player until after dark before someone came to get them. Many nights I’m sure you’ve already had dinner and are relaxing on the couch by the time I finally kick the mud off my shoes and climb into my car, which hasn’t been washed or vacuumed for weeks. Why bother cleaning it during the season? Do you know how nice it would be if, just once, after a game one of you offered to carry the heavy gear bag to my car or help straighten up the field?
If I sound angry, I’m not. I do this because I love it and I love being around the kids. There are plenty of rewards and I remind myself that while you’re at the office working, your kid is saying something that makes us all laugh or brings a tear to my eye. The positives outweigh the negatives. I just wish sometime those who don’t choose to volunteer their time would leave the coaching to the few of us who do.
- Apr 13, 2013
- 264
- 0
Let me know when you figure out Parent B. I am of the felling of what you expressed, staying out of it.
Player on DD’s team last year, so I know her, was pitching yesterday and she didn’t have a chance because of her parents. Both her parents were yelling and screaming at her from right behind the backstop. None of my business.
02Crush
Way past gone
Okay so an update....Both parents informed me they would not be returning after honoring their commitment to the team through the season. However one did it after calling me after a practice to politely tell me how poor a coach I am. The other emailed us an decided that when we move up in age level that they would not age up with us. The latter was handled respectfully and I appreciated it. We have discussed it as coaches together. We have talked with each family one on one to let them know we do not tolerate poor attitudes/actions of parents or players. We asked if anyone had any issue with these families (keep in mind there were private discussions) being allowed to finish the season. No one had an issue. As a matter of fact all families verified the complaining had been happening all season and said they could ignore it for 4 more events to keep their kids playing. So all is good.....Well at least I thought so...Tonight we played a doubleheader and the girls did really well. However as one of my coaches was walking back from the restroom the Dad who feels he know is all was in the middle of saying out loud that he "Hoped we could play without them this weekend". I was informed of this between innings. We decided that after tonight I would email him and ask him to find a new home effective immediately. He beat me to the punch by quitting. So we are now down one...However it was needed. At least the environment should at least go back to being fun for my parents again on game day. Also note, he mentioned playing with someone else this weekend so seems he was hoping to be cut. Funny thing is he talk about how the game is all about his player yet he quit so fast tonight that he NEVER SPOKE to his DD. hmmm....makes you wonder.
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They did you a favor. Ive seen it many times. That behavior is cancerous and you need to cut a limb to save the team/body.
The girls felt the pressure way before you even noticed a problem. In hindsight youll see the effects. But Theyll relax and move forward.
The other parents probably will not move forward but we dont coach for them. It doesnt matter what they think after all
The girls felt the pressure way before you even noticed a problem. In hindsight youll see the effects. But Theyll relax and move forward.
The other parents probably will not move forward but we dont coach for them. It doesnt matter what they think after all
All for the best...guessing you have a lead or two on a guest player or two. In the end it is just not worth it to keep those parents around sad to say when it has nothing to do with the kid.
Sounds like you handled it well and it's going to work out for the better! We had a similar situation last year and lost over half the team for this season. Some girls aged up, a couple girls that traveled found teams closer to home, and 3 went and started their own team. The last 3 were the 'problem parents'. It brings me a little joy inside that they left because they are having the same drama at this new team - but also the joy comes from the girls/families we brought in - talented players with less attitude and the parents are more helpful and better 'fans'!! It goes to show that if you do things for the right reasons, people will want to come play for your team!
Speaking from experience, you'll see that your team will have a better all around dymanic and will be enjoyable for all to experiance!!
Speaking from experience, you'll see that your team will have a better all around dymanic and will be enjoyable for all to experiance!!
