I may be way off on this, but the fact that you said she is "strong willed and that may be part of the problem" tells me there may be an attitude issue. Her talents are irrelevant if her attitude is one that the coach doesn't want others emulating. There are most certainly coaches out there who are just jerks and want to lose by playing "lesser" talent....but there are likely many more teenage girls who can be a bit unpleasant in the dugout or on the field.
How do I keep my daughter motivated when coach is breaking her spirit...
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DD had a discussion with the coach. She tells me that she felt it went very well. She was afraid it would end up in screaming or tears, and there were neither, so - success!
Coach did mention a lot of things good and bad. She needs to block the ball better. keep her head more in the game.
On the good side coach said she trusts DD as a clutch hitter to come off the bench and put the ball in play. And the last couple games going 1 for 1 have shot her stats up.
Anyway DD is encouraged and so am I.
Coach did mention a lot of things good and bad. She needs to block the ball better. keep her head more in the game.
On the good side coach said she trusts DD as a clutch hitter to come off the bench and put the ball in play. And the last couple games going 1 for 1 have shot her stats up.
Anyway DD is encouraged and so am I.
Glad this had a positive result. Might be a good time to reinforce to her that even had it gone badly, it was still the correct next step in this situation.
coachjwb
Love this game!
Great to hear burpee ... sometimes just a clearing of the air can help a lot. Plus now she has gotten some specific feedback of things she can work on and make herself a better player, whether it's for this team or the next one. Let us know if she gets more playing time down the road.
- Jun 29, 2013
- 589
- 18
I'll assume nothing else is going on, and share what I did. My DD last year could barely play for a fall rec league, she wasn't one of the better players and we all knew that, but she got the bare minimum PT all the time, and it was rec league. When she played a Sunday DH and got one AB only, when her team got smoked twice (10-3 and 15-1) she broke down. She saw the coaches daughter play every inning at P or SS, hit second in the lineup again and go 0-6 on the day (consistent with other games they played), and she was ready to walk away. I told her she still had to play for her teammates, they (including the coaches daughter) didn't do anything to her and there would be a time when they needed her. I also told the coach (three days later) how she felt as I didn't see him ever noticing, and made it clear I wasn't asking for any favors, P.T., etc., but told him she could use a couple of encouraging words as an 11 year-old interprets this situation as him hating her.
She got the opp in the end of the season tourney, hit relatively well, but as you can imagine struggled in the field after barely playing. We finished the season. We won't play for him again by choice, but she kept her dignity through the process.
She got the opp in the end of the season tourney, hit relatively well, but as you can imagine struggled in the field after barely playing. We finished the season. We won't play for him again by choice, but she kept her dignity through the process.
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ConorMacleod
Practice Like You Play
- Jul 30, 2012
- 188
- 0
No other options for club teams in the area? sometimes a coach can be good for others, but not right for your daughter. That's why there are tryouts and recruiting. It isn't always about the coach wanting your player. It's a lot about finding the right fit for your daughter. The players are trying out for the coaches, and the coaches are trying out for the players and parents.
Huskerdu
With Purpose and Urgency
- Sep 4, 2011
- 130
- 0
No one has said anything about practice. You don't earn playing time on game day. I like what was said about having the right spirit and attitude. I award playing time of course to win, why penalize 7-8 kids when one can't focus or quite agree on the team approach?
I'm glad she communicated, hopefully it's positive from here on out.
I'm glad she communicated, hopefully it's positive from here on out.
We have very similar issues here. AC and I are like oil and water. I believe he takes his dislike for me out onto dd. Constantly beats her down verbally for "poor mechanics" (the "Howard Carrier method") her defensive approach is all wrong (Howard Kobata style) etc. etc. etc.
Bottom line is to stick it out and don't quit something you love because of someone you hate. Life is full of people we'd rather not deal with. We can't run from everybody all the time. If she truly deserves more time because she's honestly a stronger player, then there's a deeper issue brewing. She needs to approach the coach in an adult manner and ask what she needs to improve upon. He may or may not be straight up, but as a junior she's getting old enough to start handling her own issues.
Bottom line is to stick it out and don't quit something you love because of someone you hate. Life is full of people we'd rather not deal with. We can't run from everybody all the time. If she truly deserves more time because she's honestly a stronger player, then there's a deeper issue brewing. She needs to approach the coach in an adult manner and ask what she needs to improve upon. He may or may not be straight up, but as a junior she's getting old enough to start handling her own issues.
