Homesick

[GOINGDEEP]

We'll I just found out tonight another girl who has played with us ( on and off ) in the past is quitting college ( and college ball ) to come home for good. This makes 3 girls I know personally who in the past 2 years have done this...........and all 3 within the first semester. It's nothing more than old fashion homesick. 1 of them gave up on college completely, didn't even apply for a local when she got home.

We all dream of our DD's going off to ________ big time college, but take it from me, I know many who went off in BB and didn't "finish that".

As a parent I can't tell you how important these college decisions are. Don't get tunnel vision on "gotta play for ____" "gotta play D1" "gotta go _____". Convenience and education are all that matter.

I wish I could have come on here and said my DD was going to UCLA or Texas A&M or BAMA, but to be honest, she chose to play local and so far she loves it................and so does dad.

Sorry for the rambling, it really saddens me to hear these things about young ladies I know.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

So, what are they going to do, now? My DD had no intention of going to college. She did go to a CC one semester and she finished a cosmetology program (which was expensive.) But, she really likes being a waitress. When she started this and was working 40 hours on her feet, for tips, I said "I would rather be taking 14 hrs. at college." And she said "You aren't me."

My husband and I both have advanced degrees and her brothers went to college, but she chose no to. You certainly can't make someone.

 

[chinamigarden]

During my son's senior year my wife and I read a book called the Happiest Kid on Campus. It was a good book for us, it discussed what the parent's role in the kids college experience is. And how to prepare your child for college.The book talked about the good and the bad of college and how to get the kid ready to deal with the bad while focusing on the good. The number 1 thing about dealing with homesickness was to not let them come home. If they can drive home every weekend, then they will never learn to deal with it.

We bought another book written by the same author. Its for the kids going to school. I think it was called The Naked Roomate and 100 other things no one told me about college.

I recommend both books

 

[Cannonball]

We'll I just found out tonight another girl who has played with us ( on and off ) in the past is quitting college ( and college ball ) to come home for good. This makes 3 girls I know personally who in the past 2 years have done this...........and all 3 within the first semester. It's nothing more than old fashion homesick. 1 of them gave up on college completely, didn't even apply for a local when she got home.

We all dream of our DD's going off to ________ big time college, but take it from me, I know many who went off in BB and didn't "finish that".

As a parent I can't tell you how important these college decisions are. Don't get tunnel vision on "gotta play for ____" "gotta play D1" "gotta go _____". Convenience and education are all that matter.

I wish I could have come on here and said my DD was going to UCLA or Texas A&M or BAMA, but to be honest, she chose to play local and so far she loves it................and so does dad.

Sorry for the rambling, it really saddens me to hear these things about young ladies I know.

Nominee for "Post of the Year!" I recall how much crappola my dd got when she decided to stay local. On one or two message boards, comments were made that she was not able to play at a high level and so, she went down to a level she could play. BS! She is 34 minutes away and is a homebody. Also, she picked a place where I can watch every home game. That makes it easier for both the wife and I and her.

At dd's college like all others, homesickness is something that most of the girls go through. My dd takes the new girls each year and for this first semester has "taco night" each week to make things more like a family experience for them. In fact, I've had several parents thank the wife and I for allowing our dd to have Taco Night. (Tacos for 10-12 can get expensive.) We also allow dd to bring them home if they need to get out of the college setting. I think it does matter. Still, some just can't overcome it. GD's post is spot on and so going away to such and such university is not always the answer. JMHO!

 

[Amy in AZ.]

When a kid goes off to college and doesn't know how to make plane reservations, navigate the airport, get the oil changed in the car, etc., I would expect it to be overwhelming. Heck, most that I ran into didn't know how to do the laundry and wash the dishes, if there wasn't a dish washer. We have to watch our kids so closely, that many aren't given the chance to stay home alone, travel alone, grocery shop and handle a credit card. Thank goodness, we didn't have those when I went to college.

 

[sftblldad7]

Cannonball hit it out of the park. I remember going through this with my son and we were at a camp and during the talk session the first thing that the coach told was this. I would be glad to take your son do you realize that we are 3500 miles away from you. A airline ticket cost 260.00 and the hotel around 75.00 plus food. The point being made was what is more important to you watching your kid play or going to a D1 school. The coaches story was this he was a left handed pitcher and recruited by D1 school but he choose to go to a JC school that was 20min from his house mostly because they could not afford college. After two years of JC he gave up D1 offers to go to a D2 school which was 35 min from his house. A long story short he said his father never missed a game and his team won the college world series (D2) and also pointed out that just because your on a D2 school does not mean you can not beat a D1 school. The story was meant that the reason there are D1, D2, D3 school is so that there is a place for everyone some kids don't want the big schools some kids don't want to leave home and some kids just want to go just far away from home to have the college life but close enough to come home.
During my dd process we asked this question to the girls on the team. How many girls are left on the team that came in on your freshman year. You would be surprised at the number of girls that do not finish softball.

 

[BB875]

I completely agree this is the "post of the year". I could go into our personal story with DD#1, but its like you say, Cannonball, the BS flows from many people that know nothing. DD#1 chose a small DII school about 2 hours from home. Its not smooth sailing, but she has the tools to succeed. In the decision process I told her, "Less than 5 minutes after you leave home for school, none of the BS from our small town matters. Do it for yourself, not to prove anything to anyone..."

I also am a huge advocate of the JuCo schools. What a great stepping stone to give a kid some time to see what life is all about before committing for an entire college career...

 

[Rocketech1]

By the time our kids are 18 and going off to college, they should be doing what is best for their career and figuring out what they are going to do for the rest of their lives. Having daughters go to a school close to their parents just so the parents can see their softball games should be one of the last factors in their decision making process on what college they should attend. I know its hard to let go as a parent, but I personally would be extremely disappointed in my kids if they got accepted to some top colleges but chose to stay local for me.

 

[slingnit]

When a kid goes off to college and doesn't know how to make plane reservations, navigate the airport, get the oil changed in the car, etc., I would expect it to be overwhelming. Heck, most that I ran into didn't know how to do the laundry and wash the dishes, if there wasn't a dish washer. We have to watch our kids so closely, that many aren't given the chance to stay home alone, travel alone, grocery shop and handle a credit card. Thank goodness, we didn't have those when I went to college.

So many people criticize coaches that do not recruit from smaller teams/organizations, these are some of the reasons why. When playing for the large orgs. the kids play out of state on a regular basis, travel alone, room with other kids they may or may not know, budget their money for the duration of the trip, ... So when someone says "the best player on the field isn't even being recruited by OU, Bama, or Florida and I have no idea why." Well, these are a lot of the reasons why!

 

[slingnit]

By the time our kids are 18 and going off to college, they should be doing what is best for their career and figuring out what they are going to do for the rest of their lives. Having daughters go to a school close to their parents just so the parents can see their softball games should be one of the last factors in their decision making process on what college they should attend. I know its hard to let go as a parent, but I personally would be extremely disappointed in my kids if they got accepted to some top colleges but chose to stay local for me.

Next year my dd will be going to school and playing ball 1800 miles away. I said almost the exact words. I said if you go there and if it doesn't work out, you can come home. But don't have any regrets about what you could'a should'a done. DD has one former team mate that did not make it one semester at a decent D1 school and is back home at an NAIA school. A present team mate that de-committed from a top 20 D1school to stay closer to home. Don't be that 30 yr old that says "well, i could have gone big time BUT".