high school vent/advise needed

[pdqkevin]

It sounds like it was an optional pre-season conditioning work out during which weight lifting is a typical activity. Acquire and submit written instructions from her doctors and the coach MUST adhere to them. Every doctor knows more about a kid's health than every coach. After that if the coach is still going to put pressure on your kid to do things she shouldn't then I wouldn't go to the AD or look for the coach in the parking lot, I would simply remove my kid from the team because her long term health is the only issue that should matter. Even if you go to the school administration and are able to successfully cause the coach's removal that is going to take weeks to happen during which time that coach may pressure your kid into an activity that causes her a permanent disability and that can not happen if you remove her from the team.

 

[wjdempkowski]

So here is the delimma....Again I know this guy. Haven't hung out together or anything, but have been around him occasionally for 6 years or so. DD fears me talking to him, that he will take it out on her and be harder on her. I must admit that I am a little pissed that a grown man would basically bully her into doing something that she should not. However I believe that I can have a civil conversation. Should I go and request a meeting, or let it go and see how practices go next week?

What would you all do if it was your DD??

Every school has a paid physical trainer on staff. This physical trainer is your doorway into getting the head coach to listen to reason. Any injury that a player gets, must be cleared by the school's physical trainer before the player can return to "duty".

This is where you should go first. The school's physical trainer will ensure the coach follows the doctor's letter and recommendations. Once the school physical trainer has a copy of that document, the head coach is now bound by law to not deviate. Never underestimate the power physical trainers have over coaches in HS ball. If they say no, it is no.

On a side note- You shouldn't be doing heavy strength lifting in season. You can do lifting, but it should be low weight and more reps. Ideally, fast twitch muscle groups. Heavy weights cause muscle contraction, which is counter-intuitive to what a player needs during season.

 

[BobInMadison]

Trainers can be great, although of course they have their limits, not being doctors.

With the DR and the trainer on the same page, it could be really great.

 

[klamath632]

I'm right nearby in Warrenville. You hit him high, I hit him low?

 

[Il softball fan]

Update. Met with coach today before practice. Very amicable, non confrontational meeting. I expected that it would be. His side of the story was more that he was trying to figure out what strength conditioning things she could actually do, and was questioning DD. Not trying to force her to do anything. Seems more like just a misunderstanding and situation is resolved. He now has a list from PT office showing what she is allowed to do, and is not allowed to do. I did not realize that she would even attend any kind of voluntary strength training sessions last week, so my fault for not getting him this information prior to that.

Thanks again for the advise, and for letting me vent Friday. Wealth of knowledge on this site, and great softball "community"

 

[BobInMadison]

The good side is: you vented here first, so as not to look bad to him.
The REALLY good side is: you, your DD, the coach and the doctor are all on the same page.

I hope your DD continues to recover, and has a great softball season.

 

[nicelag]

Having had back surgeries myself I can feel her pain. I am guessing her rehab and therapy included several exercises, or similar ones that provide the same strengthening goals, using her body weight only. If not her therapist should be able to give her some exercises that are safe and will accomplish the same or similar goals which can and should be sufficient.

There is a huge difference between lazy un-coachable kids and those in your daughter's position...

 

[djcarter1966]

As happens more times than not....



glad everything worked out

 

[JJsqueeze]

Not to beat the "git a rope" theme too much, but I would expect that someone in his position to downplay what happened when confronted by an equal. That is kind of what bullies do. The difference between what your DD told you...

She tells coach she can't do those things. Coach starts giving her a hard time about not wanting to work, and wasting time being there, and quote from coach (according to DD) "well you are here, so you need to do something" and "if you are not suppose to bend over at the waiste, how are you gonna field a ground ball" DD then demonstrated bending her legs, and back and simulated getting a ground ball. She can bend over, just not lifting weights on the way back up. She said that her demonstrating that she can, in fact, field grounders pissed him off. She said that he told her several times that what the doctors told her "doesn't make sense" and that she needed to do this.

DD is usually pretty strong willed, and holds her ground, but she said that he was on her so much and kept coming back to her repeatedly until she gave in and did all the exercises.

And this...

Very amicable, non confrontational meeting. I expected that it would be. His side of the story was more that he was trying to figure out what strength conditioning things she could actually do, and was questioning DD. Not trying to force her to do anything. Seems more like just a misunderstanding and situation is resolved.

Is pretty stark. I sincerely hope it is resolved but it doesn't hurt to have your head on a swivel anyway.