Getting more aggressive

[quincy]

Love the ads, try one of thse?

 

[bmd]

I totally agree with Bucketmom!!! Kids at this age are growing and their bodies are changing quickly. People used to tell my dd that "it looks like you are not trying" Now that my dd has caught up with her body she is really coming into her own. Now people watch her and say "wow she is aggressive" I truly believe that she isn't trying harder it is just that she is aware of her body and knows how to use it. Growth spurts are real! Be patient!

Some of what you are experiencing is lack of body awareness. She feels like she's going just as hard but you can see she isn't. She's just not as aware of how her body feels at the different levels of intensity. This comes with age and also with working out.for example, I had DD pitch after several days of overall general conditioning training. Her body was sore but she could feel everything which started her being more aware of what she was doing and level of energy she was giving. The rest comes with time and maturaity.

 

[AndyS]

Need some advice. Help coach my daughter's team. 12u but mostly first year players. DD is in the middle of the pack. #2 pitcher. Could be at the top skill wise, but has no aggression. She says she is going hard, but it is obvious to everyone watching that she isn't. Some of it is fear when balls are hit hard, but she is not scared in the circle. I try to tell her that even though she catches as many balls as other girls, her misses look worse because it looks like she is lazy. Some practices she throws nearly as hard as the #1 and others she looks 10 mph slower. She says she thinks she is going hard. I don't want to be THAT dad that stays on her because she really enjoys practicing and playing. I know time on the bench may be the only thing that convinces her to go harder, but it may also take away the enjoyment and get her to not want to play. Again, i would consider her in top half of team in talent, but her "get after it" is not up to par. Any suggestions?

This may not work or may not even be addressing your problem but over time I learned there is nothing more valuable than video. I found that my DD honestly felt at times she was doing X when she was actually doing Y. Seeing it versus hearing it from your Dad can be more powerful. Just my two cents.

 

[Fastpitch_Dad]

The awareness is definitely the issue for most kids. My approach has changed with DD to more of an open conversation in that I don't tell her that she is doing something but ask her for feedback on what I think that I am seeing. The important things that happened is that she is becoming more aware, we talk instead of arguing, and she will be more honest about what is REALLY happening. Sometimes in a game we will chat and she will explain things happening from her perspective that makes sense but I had no idea as the coach in the dugout. And yes, I still get frustrated when we don't see things the same way but sometimes it is just one of those days!
Injuries or perceived injuries are the same way...confusing and frustrating until they really understand what is happening.

 

[eagle6]

Had not really thought about the body awareness part of it. She has grown about 4-5 inches in the last year. Most of that is legs. Another girl that is taller looks the same way at times. Patience is a virture, so i guess just stay patient and get ice cream on the way home. But I have to say that the pet trainer add Quicey spotted looks very interesting!!

 

[Greenmonsters]

Love the ads, try one of thse?View attachment 11480

Perfect tool for teaching spacing in soccer IMO.

 

[JAD]

View attachment 11480

Used one of these to train my lab a few years ago, now every time my DD strikes out looking my right thumb constantly twitches as if pushing the shock button until my DD reaches the dugout...

 

[Number60]

Had the same issue with my DD 2 years ago. She has ice in her veins and no fear but it always looked like she wasn't aggressive or going full out. At the beginning I would chastise her but she didn't really understand what I was asking for so my wife convinced me to stop and so I did and I found that it was essentially a matter of confidence. She gradually started looking and playing more aggressively and though she doesn't have the same body language as the more aggressive girls, she has a quiet confidence and swagger that works for her. She is a very efficient/effective player and I can't complain anymore. And the quality that she has over the others is that she doesn't feel pressure and doesn't fold like many of the more aggressive girls.

 

[Sparky Guy]

Thanks for the feedback. DD is upset if she doesn't get to pitch. Works pretty hard at it and when she gives 100% can compete with #1 and wants to. Its just the effort. Pi$$ her off and she throws hard. Doesn't care if she hits someone. I was wide open all the time. I'm an idiot, but, at times it seems that she doesn't want to go harder because of a fear of failure. If she just says she couldn't get to the ball, she didn't fail. That may sound dumb and she would never admit it. I always had a fear of failure and letting folks down but i compensated by going harder. I think she compensates the other way. If she isn't mad and throwing hard in the circle, which is when she pitches well, she can just say she felt like she was going hard and it just didn't feel right pitching. And the hormones haven't even hit full stride yet. This is gonna give me gray hairs!

I've been coaching 10-14 year-old girls for 15 years. Here's my opinion. The biggest problems comes from social conditioning when it concerns being aggressive. Aggressive females are not looked upon favorably in our society. Especially at a young age.

Some girls have the same natural aggression that boys do and have no problem letting it show. Others have it but are afraid to let it show because they've always been directly or indirectly told that "girls" don't do this or that, but it's OK for you boys to. Most of them have been told that from the day they were born.

So how do you fight years of passive conditioning? Simply telling them it's okay to be aggressive will not do it. They don't know how. What you have to do is condition their thought process in small steps. The place to do it is at practice. An example is ground ball drills. Start by rolling them easy ones. Then start rolling them out to the side further and further, in small increments. Always keep it positive with comments like "Show me you can get there." "I know you can get to that ball, now show me." Always praise the effort, not the result. If you see a girl being lazy there is a way to tell them without calling them lazy. I simply tell or ask if that was their "Best effort?" If they answer "No" then tell them you need to see their best effort all the time. If they say "Yes" and you know it wasn't then tell them the truth. You didn't think it was and you know for sure they can do better than what they showed.

Again, this is a marathon. It doesn't happen in one practice. It is the process of conditioning them into putting forth their best effort and being aggressive is OK. It's acceptable. It's expected. Once you get the whole team with the same thought process it becomes easier for the more timid girls to feel it's okay to expand their comfort zone.

 

[Sparky Guy]

One of the best players DD plays with looks lazy, she is not. She just makes it look easy.

Some players are like that.

Then she is playing at the wrong level. She needs to be where she is being pushed.