Focus seems to be changing...

[maksoftball]

It could totally just be me. I have backed off a lot on DD when it came to softball. Well, some changes made in the last month, I think, I have affected DD's attitude, focus and performance. I posted on here over a month ago that DD, 14 (Freshman), made an 18U gold team. We were both ecstatic...not because of the 18U status, but because of the coach she would be under. Well, without going into gory, dramatic details, DD was pushed down to 16U and has a different coach. For obvious reasons, we both deflated. I have been trying so very hard to keep a positive attitude but I am sure DD sees my disappointment in this change...not only in the "status" change but the players and coach that are on this so-called 16U team. As a result, her performance and focus seem somewhat deterred and off-track...seeing this just infuriates me. I am NOT upset with or at DD at all. She did nothing wrong. There is a person that instigated this change, and I have done nothing but take the high road and turned the other cheek. We have a history with this person, and I REFUSE to be a part of the drama which is why I took the high road. But seeing my dd's performance regress and take a hit...I may have no tongue left before the end of the season.

Anyway, last night was her first Fall Ball High School game. Before the game, she had the understanding that all Freshman would be playing JV for Fall Ball. She ended up riding with someone as I don't get home until 5 p.m. and my oldest DS had a football game (his first of the season and his career); so I arrived at the fields shortly after they started. I was shocked to see my DD pitching in the Varsity game. I was like WTH? And my first thought was "Oh no...she had NO time to prepare for this set up mentally." And as I suspected, she did okay. Not great, not too bad, but just okay. She could have done MUCH better...but due to lack of mental preparation, it threw her off. Turns out that there are 2 Freshman pitchers they want to see pitch in Varsity games...DD will be alternating every other week with this pitcher...so next week, DD will play JV. Anyhow, she not only pitched first 2 innings of first game, but she played 3B last 2-3 innings of 2nd game. She is a much better 3B than she is pitcher...and it showed.

I don't want to talk about her current TB team as it upsets me too much. I am trying very hard to sit back and just pray that it falls into place. I just don't see it right now. We are going to her first exposure tournament this weekend, and I am just sick to my stomach thinking that she will be doing her first exposure tournament with *this* team and not the team she originally signed up for.

I guess I just had to get this out there in writing. Re-reading it, I seem very negative, complacent and weak. Maybe I will step up and say something AFTER this weekend. I have to see how this plays out first. I just need to work on staying positive for DD and keeping my mouth zipped tight. We shall see...

 

[Amy in AZ.]

All is good. Remember that it is your family and your job that counts. Softball is icing on the cake.

 

[BadMonkeys]

It's too bad they don't have the blog feature activated. Your post makes for a good reason to have one for those who would use it properly.

 

[JJsqueeze]

I don't think this sounds weak or anything like that. I think it is really hard to decide when to interfere in situations like this because you can accidentally make the situation worse, it would be so much easier if the coach did something like smack her for making a bad play, then you know where the line is and you just give him a beating and the problem is solved. This softer stuff is a lot tougher to deal with. The best we can do is try to muddle through and advocate for our kids while trying not to be that parent.

 

[James Smith]

My DD does not have the ability your DD does but she has been “put down” a few times in her short SB career. There is a short feeling sorry for herself, then I am going to kick some *** phase kicks in.

It sounds like they are changing the rules on you, you need to figure out what she is going to be doing and kick ***.

A poor exposure tournament will not hurt her yet, position her for the next one.

 

[Sparky Guy]

The program/coach did your DD a favor by putting her on the 16U team. The college coaches are looking at the 16's with a very serious eye in today's recruiting landscape. You need to take your wounded ego out of the equation and quit projecting it on to your DD. Your DD needs to understand she is in the best possible situation for recruiting so long as YOU'VE done your part of it by contacting college coaches.

If you look at the rosters of most high level 18U teams most of the girls have already committed to a college. That's why the 16's are looked at more and more by the college coaches. If your DD gets some interest from college coaches you need to thank the organization for putting her there.

Tell her to quit pouting and work her backside off so she can get recruited. Once she's committed it's time to play the game and have fun at it.

 

[JAD]

The best part about TB is that you and your DD can change teams (unlike HS ball). Therefore, I would HIGHLY suggest that you look for another TB team. Sometimes a coach does not realize what he has until it is gone!

If your DD has aspirations of playing college softball I would also like to throw in my $0.02 on 16U vs. 18U - a lot of D1 recruiting is now done at 16U and I would not advise playing up if your DD has D1 talent!

 

[RubberBiscuit]

If there is anything I would advise to parents and players in their younger years it would be the following:

1. Expect your TB SB experience to have the highest of highs and lowest of lows. If it ends up with limited lows then you came out lucky.
2. Your DD is NOT defined by the team she is or is not on in any one given season - even though obviously playing good on a high-exposure team helps,… and when ya look back the number of seasons in a “career” there is not that many.....
3. But the real message I want to get out there to DD's with big dreams of playing big SB, and to the parents who want to pave the best trail to get there: “If I would have been able to see in advance all the up's and the plethora of all the downs that my DD has been through in all her TB years I would have bet millions of dollars (that I don’t have btw) that this zig-zag history would never have added up to a beautiful scholarship opportunity.” I would have been dead wrong.

Moral of the story keep more focused on the “war” and not hyper-focus on the individual “battles”. When ya commit to a club ya stick to that commitment for that season (within reason of course). Ya play your heart out & parents you support your heart out – through thick & thin.

My 2 cents.

 

[MandM]

My two cents too. Having been where you are I have a different perspective. Last fall, DD was offered spot on highly touted team with good coaching. Things did not go as planned as coaches changed, DD saw decreased playing time, yada yada. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy, and her confidence was battered. I think all the points above are correct, and I tried those things - I encouraged her to play hard where ever she was played.. anything I could think of, and frankly, it did not work for her. The environment was toxic for other reasons as well. I considered my commitment to them to be void once the coaching staff turned over, but we completed the fall season and then left and joined another team. DD was like a new player- she was still at the stage in development where she needed the coach to believe in her too. I think your DD is not in the environment that she signed up for either. If she can rise above it, more power to her, but I would plant the idea that you should not to be afraid to change her to a new team if she does not bounce back (of course with her agreement)

 

[JJsqueeze]

M n M was the team mascot an ROUS?