Don't be that parent

[riseball]

I understand exactly what you are saying, but not everyone is Riseball. Not everyone is Rick Pauly. For every parent out there that understands and can see the adjustments needed there are 50-100 more that a overbearing "know it alls" that just want to live through their DD's success. I guess my experiences around the ball parks have shown that more often than not mom & dad are being meddlesome not because they are knowledgeable, but because they "played some ball back in the day". I think that you would also be surprised at how many people on this forum either don't understand pitching mechanics, or have studied them but don't have the eye to see the flaws.

I guess what I am saying(and take this as a compliment) is that you are probably the exception, and not the rule...

To your point a parent/outside coach needs to know their limitations. It is one thing for a player to seek out guidance, it is completely different for a parent to run to the dugout before and after every one of Suzy's at bats and demonstrate proper hitting mechanics. When there are not in the dugout with me I am available for my DD, my niece, and my students but they all know that they need to come to me. Make yourself available but do not intrude. It is up to the player to work out the protocol with the coach for any interaction. When I am in a recruiting role I was much more concerned about the parent engaging the player than the player engaging the parent. When the time comes addressing an issue with the player is much easier than one with a parent.

 

[JJS]

What I find funny is that you condone this behavior of exclusion by a young new coach. For all this young new coach knows, it could have been Margie Wright sitting there outside the dugout, and the coach would probably have no idea who she is. Making the decision to exclude a girl completely from your consideration simply because she left the dugout to consult with her parents (or pitching coach, who knows?) is ludicrous. And it's ludicrous that you are applauding this action.

Good point. I see pitching coaches at the parks all the time. There is one that likes to "talk" a bit to kids and parents during games. I don't think it is right. I don't think it is appropriate. It isn't the right time. He should wait to do it when the family is back at his pitching tunnel the following week.

Would it be okay for a hitting instructor to coach from the stands? We know we have a batter beat as soon as they turn to the stands for instruction during an at bat.

I am not applauding the action of excluding the player. I am simply stating that I believe that most parents that are at the dugout giving instruction do more harm than good(and are probably doing it for the wrong reasons). I do believe that if I have the choice of 5 players that are exactly even in ability and attitude I am going to look at other factors when determining which one I would offer a position. From everything I read and hear colleges do the same thing. They look for reasons not to take someone. Not the other way around.

 

[JJS]

To your point a parent/outside coach needs to know their limitations. It is one thing for a player to seek out guidance, it is completely different for a parent to run to the dugout before and after every one of Suzy's at bats and demonstrate proper hitting mechanics. When there are not in the dugout with me I am available for my DD, my niece, and my students but they all know that they need to come to me. Make yourself available but do not intrude. It is up to the player to work out the protocol with the coach for any interaction. When I am in a recruiting role I was much more concerned about the parent engaging the player than the player engaging the parent. When the time comes addressing an issue with the player is much easier than one with a parent.

Well said.

 

[JAD]

This is the biggest problem I see with parents today. Many think they are Rick Pauly. They think that they know better than the coaches.

I am sure there are plenty of "helicopter parents" trying to micro-manage everything their DD does, but I would love to know how many TB and HS coaches are qualified pitching instructors. Most coaches are former baseball guys, which translates well for every position with minor modifications except PITCHER!!! I am sure there are a lot of really good TB coaches, especially in the big organizations, but most TB coaches are just mom/dads who love the game and their DD. I would also like to point out that just because a coach is a former player does not make her a pitching expert, AND former pitchers are not always qualified instructors.

 

[GunnerShotgun]

Most parents would be better off dropping their kids off at the park and then going home. That would be a good start.

 

[PA SB Dad]

I'm not sure why the OP is getting flamed here. He related a story from his DD and why she was turned off from a pitcher as a possible recruit. There are plenty of stories like that in softball and in real life. Right or wrong, that was her impression. I have interviewed prospective college students as an alumni rep, interviewed medical school, residency and fellowship applicants as faculty, and now for job applicants in my current company. There are plenty of people I crossed off the list for many reasons. When the supply of prospective applicants far exceeds the number of open positions, you can get crossed off someone's list for the dumbest reasons. It does not have to make sense.

 

[quincy]

Most parents would be better off dropping their kids off at the park and then going home. That would be a good start.

As long as they send them with a check and are willing/ able to practice with them at home.

 

[MNDad]

To your point a parent/outside coach needs to know their limitations. It is one thing for a player to seek out guidance, it is completely different for a parent to run to the dugout before and after every one of Suzy's at bats and demonstrate proper hitting mechanics. When there are not in the dugout with me I am available for my DD, my niece, and my students but they all know that they need to come to me. Make yourself available but do not intrude. It is up to the player to work out the protocol with the coach for any interaction. When I am in a recruiting role I was much more concerned about the parent engaging the player than the player engaging the parent. When the time comes addressing an issue with the player is much easier than one with a parent.

Excellent point. I think it makes a huge difference if the coach condones and approves it.

In regards to the OP, I think some context would help. We don’t know if the girl left the dugout to seek pitching advice, a juice box, or just felt like wandering around.

 

[Momo'sDad]

A pitcher parent in the stands can normally read their player far better than the coaches in the dugout. In my book, it's ok for the coach to look to the parent for a cue which might help in a certain situation. We're normally not going to provide feedback on bad swings that happen to result in hits, though.

But not every parent understands boundaries. When a player is batting about .098, it's not appropriate for her parent to badger the coaches about her not being in the lineup for an elimination game DURING the game. Or ever.

 

[GunnerShotgun]

We have a team rule that once the game starts that players are not to have contact with anyone outside of the dugout for any reason. Period.