Not everyone will get this..in best Negan voice, holding bat, "First one's free, it's an emotional moment, I get it".. and leave it at that...
Dealing with team's diamond diva
- Thread starter softgabby
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Cannonball
Ex "Expert"
- Feb 25, 2009
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softgabby, I once made the mistake of doing something like you describe. I was throwing a perfect game and our first baseman didn't make an attempt to field what was a pretty routine ground ball. This would have been the last out in the game. He just stood there. When we came in, I couldn't help myself. I unloaded on him and I was totally in the wrong. An event then happened that made a huge difference in my life. This player's mom came over to me and said that it was a shame that I was so perfect. Sarcastically, she mentioned that I never allowed anyone to get hits, never lost a game, never made an out myself when hitting ... Then, she looked at me and asked, "Darrell, if you are so perfect, how do they even hit a foul ball off of you. Man did this mom put me in my place. I don't know the answer for you. Know that sometimes these things happen and they are out of frustration.
- Jun 11, 2015
- 1,175
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Should have just agreed with her. "Yep I blew it. This one is on me, team. Im sorry and I will continue to work hard and do my best to make sure that never happens again. Thanks for pointing that out SS. Now lets huddle up and get a team break" Be the leader the team needs. Be the better person. Put the team on your back and carry them. You will take the pressure off the teamates who did make the errors. The team will rally around you.
That ^^^ is a very wise decision. Props to you for taking the right path.
,./,./........................................
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Unfortunately, trying to stay above it all also backfires. I can name numerous instances but the most poignant would be my last season as HC of an 18U showcase team last year. I had a solid 3rd baseperson that hit extremely well but was only average at fielding. Because of injuries, I had to replace more than several players throughout the Summer season. These players tried out, paid their reduced fees depending upon the number of tournaments left and played the games according to the rules I set out at the beginning of the season.
Before the season, I made it known that subs would be treated equally as our own players and the best 9 start on Sunday. During the season, I only brought in subs the very first tournament because half my team was missing due to HS playoffs and in our state they're not allowed to play both at the same time. During the season, I made it well known what was going on and stayed in constant contact with the parents. During the season, I made it known that these players paid their fees and were now part of the team. During the season, I spent countless hours emailing college coaches for our team and players and got many responses about them. During the season, I mentioned them by name and made a recommendation to those coaches that if they would like to see them, here's our remaining schedule. During the season, I even recommended several of my players to go overseas to play in the Winter World Cup tournament. During the season, our 3rd baseperson got in a car accident and was hurting due to trauma from that accident.
When the 3rd baseperson made it known that she was hurting and didn't want to start or play the next game during a tournament, I told her, "That's fine, just let know when or if you want to go in and I'll put you in. It's more important for you to be 100% in a showcase that the college coaches come to see you play than playing in this one. Heal up."
Meanwhile, Mom was on the sidelines badmouthing me about how I started subs over all of our other players depending upon the situation. I stayed above it and said nothing. However, since she was the only one talking, she managed to turn the entire team and their parents against me no matter what I told them. I had 3 players ready to go because college coaches were VERY interested in them but that particular parent managed to poison them against me, as well as the rest of the team and their families and told them it was nothing but lies. Now, because I didn't say anything and took the "High Road," these three players no longer have a shot of playing in college and the team has imploded.
Since then, DD has decided to not play her final year of eligibility of TB even though she's moved on to play at the college level, this Mom, whom I had to release from coaching duties due to a coach player altercation that was completely wrong on her part (yes, her and her husband were my Ac's last year) tried to steal the team this year. Fortunately, no one would take them thanks to them being, "Those parents." They even tried to shop the team to our organization and they said no. Talk about having a pair of big stones. Since then. the team has split up. I've dropped back to 12U since I have a big following with the younger girls and families and the three players I had pretty much set up to play in college with a partial AS are no longer on the radar of ANY college.
And this is all because I took the, "The High Road," and said nothing. Sometimes standing up for yourself, what you believe in and causing sh!t is necessary. If I had, then 3 more of my players would be moving on next year and I'd probably still be coaching an 18U showcase team. Thankfully, I had the chance to drop back due to DD not wanting to play next year and the girls and I are having a blast. Maybe there is a silver lining to everything.
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YO - I would consider your situation and Gabby's situation very different. As a player, with a coach who has already stepped up to address the situation, I completely agree with her decision to let it go and move on. Sorry to hear about the issues you had to deal with. That really sucks.
Sums up things very well in general about stuff nowadays although not PC...haha
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I can't tell what you want to use the sarcasm font for, but are you saying that it's a new phenomenon that players call each other out? I am 52 now and when I played it happened all the time. It's also been around that if you did it to the wrong person you might have to learn how to ice a black eye.
- Jun 8, 2016
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He was responding to my comment regarding never running into this issue myself. I remember players being upset with coaches but in 15+ years of baseball/basketball I never remember another player verbally calling out a teammate. A pitcher kicking the dirt when an error was made, yeah that happened. But not getting in someone's face. As you said, maybe it was because they knew that there was a 50/50 chance they would get popped in the mouth.
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