DD is afraid to try-out

[sluggers]

I'm afraid she's getting to that age now that if she doesn't try soon, she's going to miss out.

Uhh...I think she is trying to tell you, "I don't want to play softball. I want to do something else."

Any ideas on how to get her to not be afraid?

Sure...you let her make decisions, and let her suffer the consequences of those decisions. When she finds out that she can live with her mistakes, she will not be afraid.

Teaching her how not to be afraid in this instance would be to explain the consequences of not playing, and let her do what she wants.

Missing a season of softball is not exactly the end of the world. Lots of kids live a rich, fulfiling life without ever playing softball.

So, I say let it go. If she starts to complain about not playing, say, "You made your decision. You can try out next year if you wish."

At what age would the transition from rec to TB be too hard?

Most kids can jump into TB at 14U. Going from rec to TB at 16U is almost impossible.

 

[bwease]

I feel your pain. This sounds exactly like my first DD. My other DD loves tryouts and always has. I definitely think this fear doesn't have anything to do with her not liking softball. Sure it could be, but no way to know for sure.

There should be a ton of tryouts this time of year. A good suggestion is taking her to a tryout just to watch and see what it's all about. (no strings attached). Make sure to get there really early (at least 1/2 hour before if not more) so you don't walk up and see 20-30 girls on the field (intimidation factor). More than likely when she's the girls arriving she will either know 1 or 2 and say hi. Even if she didn't she would probably see the girls and realize they are just like her.

Maybe in the trunk sneak her gear just in case she changes her mind and wants to give it a go. Maybe ask her, want to try it out no strings attached, tell her she doesn't even have to play if she makes it. You could even email the coach and let him/her know the situation beforehand and they might make her feel extra welcome.

 

[Strike2]

IMO, sending their kid to try out for a ball team, or anything else worthwhile, is one of the best "life lessons" a parent can provide.

The willingness to go out there, do your best, and learn from what happens is the trait of an ultimately successful ________ (fill in the blank).

 

[nixxy311]

One year later...DD was on a TB team in the Spring (and rec) but the TB team wasn't one she had to try out for as the HC was also her rec coach who wanted to get the girls who would be going into HS in the fall exposure to real TB teams. But now girls are aging out or wanting to try out for other TB teams for the fall.

DD went to her first real TB tryout last night. She did end up going with 3 of her friends. It was inside as the fields were too wet so they were only able to do a few things. The coach broke them up into 3 groups and she ended up in a group with her best friend - we actually wanted them to not hang out during the tryout so they'd focus more but they did fine. But she ended up doing really well in mostly everything she did - even hit well but they just did coach pitch and the PM. Her and her friend stayed later with the pitchers and catchers and after warming up, they were the first group to go for the HC. I was so surprised that they were first. Did really good too. I wasn't watching a lot of the other girls there so I'm not really sure how she compared but we'll see. Supposed to have a second tryout on the fields.

I think she did realize it wasn't as scary as she thought. Still haven't really found any others to go to yet - still waiting for some teams to finish up their season.

 

[CoachKevin]

That's great, not many times do you get an update on forums. I'm glad you found this post, and I'm glad your DD now realizes her skills are just fine!!

 

[Hawk_]

A bunch of girls I know are so tired of playing with girls not up to their skill level they insist on moving to TB. That's exactly what happened to my dd. She began to complain about 1st missing balls that would be outs, P not being able to throw strikes, only the top 3 girls being able to hit well.
Then the wife was complaining about the level of coaching. I have been a select baseball coach for years and my DD had the worst coaches cause I couldn't coach both teams. Now I'm focusing on her as my son is interested in other things.

If she doesn't have the want to play TB it will be hard otherwise. My DD got recruited so we haven't been through the try out process yet. I'm sure she will be nervous for the first one, so we will pick a team that is not our first choice, then go to teams we actually want to play with.

Also, We just had a girl come to one of our workouts. A parent knew her and their daughter had played with her a few times, after mentioning her to me we invited her to workout with us. The start of practice she was super nervous but my DD and another girl grabbed her and off they went. Turned out she was a hell of a player and offered her a spot after practice.

 

[WARRIORMIKE]

Maybe SHE'S not that serious on playing at a upper level.

Let HER figure it out.

 

[JLF]

One year later...DD was on a TB team in the Spring (and rec) but the TB team wasn't one she had to try out for as the HC was also her rec coach who wanted to get the girls who would be going into HS in the fall exposure to real TB teams. But now girls are aging out or wanting to try out for other TB teams for the fall.

DD went to her first real TB tryout last night. She did end up going with 3 of her friends. It was inside as the fields were too wet so they were only able to do a few things. The coach broke them up into 3 groups and she ended up in a group with her best friend - we actually wanted them to not hang out during the tryout so they'd focus more but they did fine. But she ended up doing really well in mostly everything she did - even hit well but they just did coach pitch and the PM. Her and her friend stayed later with the pitchers and catchers and after warming up, they were the first group to go for the HC. I was so surprised that they were first. Did really good too. I wasn't watching a lot of the other girls there so I'm not really sure how she compared but we'll see. Supposed to have a second tryout on the fields.

I think she did realize it wasn't as scary as she thought. Still haven't really found any others to go to yet - still waiting for some teams to finish up their season.

Glad it's working out.

My DD was the same way a year ago. I wasn't as nice as you however. I signed her up and made her go and she's having a great season. I prefer to push my kids into doing things that are a little uncomfortable for them.

 

[Softball scholar]

One year later...DD was on a TB team in the Spring (and rec) but the TB team wasn't one she had to try out for as the HC was also her rec coach who wanted to get the girls who would be going into HS in the fall exposure to real TB teams. But now girls are aging out or wanting to try out for other TB teams for the fall.

DD went to her first real TB tryout last night. She did end up going with 3 of her friends. It was inside as the fields were too wet so they were only able to do a few things. The coach broke them up into 3 groups and she ended up in a group with her best friend - we actually wanted them to not hang out during the tryout so they'd focus more but they did fine. But she ended up doing really well in mostly everything she did - even hit well but they just did coach pitch and the PM. Her and her friend stayed later with the pitchers and catchers and after warming up, they were the first group to go for the HC. I was so surprised that they were first. Did really good too. I wasn't watching a lot of the other girls there so I'm not really sure how she compared but we'll see. Supposed to have a second tryout on the fields.

I think she did realize it wasn't as scary as she thought. Still haven't really found any others to go to yet - still waiting for some teams to finish up their season.

Good to hear your DD is progressing. Fear of failure can be the toughest thing for young girls. But when they can get past a hurdle, (like tryouts in this case), they seldom look back. Confidence is the key. Let her try a few more tryouts, she might even start to enjoy going to them. A lot of time coaches don't care if you mess up, they're watching to see how the young lady reacts when she messes up. Try to get her on the best team you can, as that's the best way to get better.

 

[grcsftbll]

That's personal growth Good for her, whether she makes it or not.