DD and small toen drama

[cwestwjg]

So we live in a very small community where everyone knows everyone and everyone is at the local ballpark each night. Tonight good example boys HS, Girls HS, LL and TEE Ball all going on at the community park tonight.

My DD plays alot of A/B TB and is a solid SS that just happens to pitch 3rd string for her TB team. She pitches for the local 12u rec team to keep her friends happy she is 11 and in 6th grade. She takes lessons twice a week but is realizing she like playing SS and at 5' nothing isn't going to make it as a pitcher.

Well she is very stressed now because at the HS game she was told that she is the oldest girl in the community that can pitch other than our 10th grade pitcher. The next girls behind her that is learning is in the 4th grade. So my DD that bears the weight of the world in her little mind is stressing that she has to play and pitch for the HS team when she was about to give it up.

What should I tell her so she gets over it for right now and realizes that a long time away and alot of things can change in three years? Anyone else live in a small town like this?

 

[Sparky Guy]

Anyone else live in a small town like this?

I don't. But I think I might have missed it when I blinked as we drove through it.

 

[Sparky Guy]

What should I tell her so she gets over it for right now and realizes that a long time away and alot of things can change in three years?

Exactly what you just wrote here. She needs know that it's OK for her to not pitch. If the HS coach is so worried about it, he/she should be more involved trying to make sure there are a couple of kids in the wings working on pitching.

If your daughter wants to give it up tell her to do so now. In three years time she will no longer be thought of as a pitcher. When it comes time for HS tryouts and they ask who pitches tell her to be sure she keeps her hand in her pocket.

Unfortunately, I can't help with the small town politics. When my daughter played there were usually about 150 total kids who tried out for all three levels.

 

[quincy]

You and your DD are going to be in trouble no matter what you do. You guys need to decide what the best of a few evils is. It is unfortunate but sometimes the easy choice is too just quit.

Another bad choice might to be to quit organized softball for a year, while still working on her game, then come back stating that she is no longer a pitcher.

 

[starsnuffer]

You said she pitches in rec ball to keep her friends happy?

HS ball is just rec ball for 15-18 year olds. She should have the same mentality, and have some fun.

-W

 

[chinamigarden]

So we live in a very small community where everyone knows everyone and everyone is at the local ballpark each night. Tonight good example boys HS, Girls HS, LL and TEE Ball all going on at the community park tonight.

My DD plays alot of A/B TB and is a solid SS that just happens to pitch 3rd string for her TB team. She pitches for the local 12u rec team to keep her friends happy she is 11 and in 6th grade. She takes lessons twice a week but is realizing she like playing SS and at 5' nothing isn't going to make it as a pitcher.

Well she is very stressed now because at the HS game she was told that she is the oldest girl in the community that can pitch other than our 10th grade pitcher. The next girls behind her that is learning is in the 4th grade. So my DD that bears the weight of the world in her little mind is stressing that she has to play and pitch for the HS team when she was about to give it up.

What should I tell her so she gets over it for right now and realizes that a long time away and alot of things can change in three years? Anyone else live in a small town like this?

We have the opposite problem. Small town with too many kids who think they are pitchers.

But first of all 5 foot at 11 could be 5'9" by 14. Plus if you look at a lot of college rosters you will find plenty of 5'3" pitchers, so your DDs size at this age should not matter. You might need to start on your own identifying kids who might want to pitch and encourage them. Give one a ride to your DDs lesson, maybe someone would love their kid to take lessons but can't get to the lessons. Look for a big girl who is coordinated but not considered good enough to be a starter in any other position. You might find a gem who is itching to be recognized and will do anything to get more playing time, even if it means learning how to pitch.

I am never one for lying, and it would take a lot to get me to tell my kid to participate in one. But if she really doesn't want to pitch. I say over the summer she should develop shoulder pain when she is in her pitching motion, that only crops up when she pitches too much. This would allow her to be the #3 on a travel team, but not enough to let her pitch full time.

 

[Jojo]

cwest--My DD is a high school coach. Came into her team last year. She had NO pitchers. Had a girl that had pitched when she was 11 or 12. This girl is a very good player on her TB team. Does not PITCH.

My DD was able to convince her that her role on the team was to pitch. Become a leader, do what needs to be done in this situation.
She practices her pitching now everyday and does a remarkably good job, her team has only one district loss this season.

Sometimes my DD will find herself scolding her for multiple walks or homeruns, then have to catch herself and confront her later, Then remind her how much she still appreciates her efforts for the teams sake.

It's what it means when you play a "team" sport.

 

[sluggers]

So my DD that bears the weight of the world in her little mind is stressing that she has to play and pitch for the HS team when she was about to give it up. What should I tell her so she gets over it for right now and realizes that a long time away and alot of things can change in three years? Anyone else live in a small town like this?

My DD#3 was like this...we were at a big school, but basically the same deal. She was much, much better than anyone else at the HS.

My DD#1 was a great HS pitcher, and the HS coach had ridiculously high expectations for DD#3. But, DD#3 didn't put the time into pitching, because she liked hoops more.

In spite of all of this, DD#3 was still better than about 90% of the other HS pitchers. But, the HS coach and my DD#3 never could get on the same page. I.e., DD#3 would be happy to pitch during the season and work harder than anyone else on the team, but during the off-season, she would play basketball. DD#3, much to my disappoint, quit softball rather than put up with the HS coach.

I hate intervening in sports with my DDs, but this probably was one instance where I should have sat down with both of them and talked through the issue.

 

[SoftSocDad]

I am never one for lying, and it would take a lot to get me to tell my kid to participate in one. But if she really doesn't want to pitch. I say over the summer she should develop shoulder pain when she is in her pitching motion, that only crops up when she pitches too much. This would allow her to be the #3 on a travel team, but not enough to let her pitch full time.

There are must-lie situations and there's nothing wrong with letting a child know that, but this would not be one of them. If a girl does not wish to pitch, then she needs to be allowed to own that choice. Her reasons for not wanting to pitch don't matter and she isn't obligated to discuss it with anyone.

I agree with everything else you said, though, especially about her size. Until a kid goes through puberty, you don't know for certain how much she's likely to grow.

DD#3, much to my disappoint, quit softball rather than put up with the HS coach.

I hate intervening in sports with my DDs, but this probably was one instance where I should have sat down with both of them and talked through the issue.

You let life happen and allowed her to choose her own course. If my memory serves me correctly, things worked out quite nicely for her.

 

[RookKev]

I also have a dd who is small. She pitches, and although when she looks around at the pitchers out there, she is far and away the smallest, we just remind her, mechanics mechanics mechanics. Every pitch now in the right mechanics will add tremendous velocity down the road. Dont worry about size, worry about what you can control. If she wants to play short and not pitch, just say so. Perhaps having enough runners walk the bases might sway her opinion.... If the coach goes south on you, well, nothing to motivate a person like a jerk that tries to crush their dreams. She might just find your daughter in the next town over, as the starting pitcher. Makes me think of Patrick Roy, his youth coach told him he would never be a goalie, and he became one of the best... And eventually he had a run in with his pro coach and told him hed never play for him again,anddidnt.

Btw, I grew up in a small farm town, all of 150 people in it. I know the stress of that environment.