Daughter punished by coaches this past weekend

[Little Angels Softball]

It basically went we are ok with this type of punishment only if the remainder of the team is treated in the same manner. That means whenever another player commits an error, does not make a play or is lazy in getting to the ball the same punishment will be handed out.

That is difficult for me as a coach. Each girl is different.

For example, if a girl who is lazy in practice is lazy getting to a ball in a game, she is far more likely to get yanked out than another girl who works hard in practice would be if she happened to be lazy getting to a ball.

Same goes for a girl who makes the same error over and over .... she is more likely to get pulled for making the error yet again than another girl who normally learns from her mistakes just happens to make the same error again.

That is not treating the girls equally. However, I don't see anything that isn't fair about it.

 

[CoogansBluff]

Is this a travel team or a high school team?

My daughter plays on a high school team that is struggling to put it nicely. I have difficulty watching the games, its not a matter of if an error will happen it is how many and what the damage will be. I have not issues saying my DD is one of the top infielders but they have only let her play a total of one inning in the infield. Based on the stats my DD is in the top 5 hitting, on at least three occasions they have used the DP/Flex to have another player bat for her. Last game she came in to pinch hit and hit a double then walked the second at bat. My DD tried talking with the coach, that went no where. After the last incident in which they wanted to punish( had to do with her pitching)my daughter we had a conversation with the coach. It basically went we are ok with this type of punishment only if the remainder of the team is treated in the same manner. That means whenever another player commits an error, does not make a play or is lazy in getting to the ball the same punishment will be handed out.

Why do you feel the coach singles out your daughter like this?

You say she's one of the best infielders, but coach never lets her play infield. You say she's one of the best hitters, but coach sometimes lets other hitters bat for her. Coach also punishes her for things that he does not punish others for.

What do you think it is? Why would the coach's assessment of your daughter be so different than yours?

 

[djcarter1966]

When I was a coach I had a rule... I would always solicit input and talk to the girls about "where" they would "like" to play and "when" they liked playing (start or come off bench if the roster was big and we were going to sub) but in the end when it's all said and done and I asked "Where/When do you play" there was only one acceptable answer "where ever and when ever you say coach" ONLY exception was tell me if you are hurt or sick....in other words as another poster said "NO POUTING ALLOWED", not saying she did that but it might have come across that way.

In your DD instance as a pitcher I think it would be OK to ask on the side "coach during warm ups or in between games do your want me to throw a few warm up pitches just in case you need me?" then just follow his instructions with a smile on your face.

My bigger concern would be that she did not play at all which tells me she is probably not one of the top 6 or 7 batters on the team, I would have her make it a goal that coach would never bench her because she can't afford to lose her bat from the line-up and if she plays left field or flex/DPs or whatever it is better than the bench.

It also sounds like the coach gave in and let her pitch a game anyway but it did not go well...maybe it was a tough team or defense did not step up but she needs to shine every chance she gets "the coach is picking on me" does not matter, especially as a pitcher you have to have thicker skin.

So I guess put my response in the Life Lesson...suck it up category. Sorry if it comes across too harsh.

 

[crd1998]

That is difficult for me as a coach. Each girl is different.

For example, if a girl who is lazy in practice is lazy getting to a ball in a game, she is far more likely to get yanked out than another girl who works hard in practice would be if she happened to be lazy getting to a ball.

Same goes for a girl who makes the same error over and over .... she is more likely to get pulled for making the error yet again than another girl who normally learns from her mistakes just happens to make the same error again.

That is not treating the girls equally. However, I don't see anything that isn't fair about it.

It is difficult for me as coach to watch and listen to what is happening with this team. If you punish one player for making errors and allow others errors to go without response how is that fair? What is the teaching the players if only a few are punished while a select few are above reproach?


This team has so much talent but it reduced to continual failure by the actions or lack of action on the coaching staff.

 

[Little Angels Softball]

It is difficult for me as coach to watch and listen to what is happening with this team. If you punish one player for making errors and allow others errors to go without response how is that fair? What is the teaching the players if only a few are punished while a select few are above reproach?


This team has so much talent but it reduced to continual failure by the actions or lack of action on the coaching staff.

I'm really not saying you aren't right and that what you're describing isn't happening. I have no way of knowing without seeing it myself.

I am saying that treating different girls differently is OK and can be fair.

 

[crd1998]

Why do you feel the coach singles out your daughter like this?

You say she's one of the best infielders, but coach never lets her play infield. You say she's one of the best hitters, but coach sometimes lets other hitters bat for her. Coach also punishes her for things that he does not punish others for.

What do you think it is? Why would the coach's assessment of your daughter be so different than yours?

Not sure her motivation for the actions that I have watched. If my daughter did not have talent I could understand her not playing but on her travel team she plays 3rd,SS,OF and pitches. The HS team is not even in the same league has the level of play on her travel team. It will be interesting to see if we play the local travel team in a tournament this summer. I was surprised when I noticed they were registered for one of the same tournaments, they usually stick with the smaller local tournaments. One possible thing is that my DD is new to this school and the pet players are part of a local travel team. I have also noticed that other players who elect to play travel ball for another team are also treated in a similar fashion.

The local travel ball coach appears to have a big influence within the HS softball system. Wonder if he still is mad that my daughter choose to play another team instead of his about 4 years ago. I do remember some of the parents acting cold to us after my daughter decided to play elsewhere. We like to call it " small town mentality".

Oh well, the season is almost over. My DD cant wait until the season is over, she is looking forward to playing with her travel team.

 

[Little Angels Softball]

Not sure her motivation for the actions that I have watched. If my daughter did not have talent I could understand her not playing but on her travel team she plays 3rd,SS,OF and pitches. The HS team is not even in the same league has the level of play on her travel team. It will be interesting to see if we play the local travel team in a tournament this summer. I was surprised when I noticed they were registered for one of the same tournaments, they usually stick with the smaller local tournaments. One possible thing is that my DD is new to this school and the pet players are part of a local travel team. I have also noticed that other players who elect to play travel ball for another team are also treated in a similar fashion.

The local travel ball coach appears to have a big influence within the HS softball system. Wonder if he still is mad that my daughter choose to play another team instead of his about 4 years ago. I do remember some of the parents acting cold to us after my daughter decided to play elsewhere. We like to call it " small town mentality".

Oh well, the season is almost over. My DD cant wait until the season is over, she is looking forward to playing with her travel team.

That kind of stuff happens all the time in high school ball. It sucks.

 

[crd1998]

I'm really not saying you aren't right and that what you're describing isn't happening. I have no way of knowing without seeing it myself.

I am saying that treating different girls differently is OK and can be fair.

You are correct in saying it is difficult to evaluate a situation without watching the games. What has happened with this team I could write a best selling novel, "How To Fail At Softball.

 

[crd1998]

That kind of stuff happens all the time in high school ball. It sucks.

The problem I am noticing is this is more the norm than the exception.

 

[Cecelia]

Two sides to every story. This one sounds incomplete to me.

I also have a "no pout" rule on my team. If you get upset because you aren't getting your way (which is fine with me) and you let your teammates see it (which is NOT OK), well .... you've just guaranteed you won't get your way and you can think about it from the bench.

Yeah, I agree. But that's not what happened with my daughter. She wasn't upset about "not getting her way." She was upset because her coach said something really insulting and mean to her.