critical parents and the smack talking

[tghorley]

Just once, just once mind you, I would like a young lady who is being verbally abused by a fan to call time out, walk off the playing field over the offender, hand them her glove and tell them sounds like you can do better, so go do it and then sit down. Oh how embarrassed the offender would be.

Actually, I would not want the player to do it, but it would be funny

 

[guero_gordo]

IMHO, there are essentially three types of acceptable things for a parent to say through the fence:
sum'n like "Here we go 9, you got this."

sum'n like "Nice play 9, attagurl."

sum'n like "Shake it off kid, no harm, you're OK."

Coach is busy, frequently doesn't hear this stuff, but they have to keep a tight lid on it or it becomes a nightmare for the kids fast.

These are cowards, plain and simple. Won't even look at me, let alone make eye contact when I stand next to them at the fence...and I'm not even Irish.

 

[sluggers]

I'm generally pretty laid back, but I would have gone medieval on him. Harassing 12 YOA children is about as low as a person can get.

 

[jinjet95]

We have a dad at my DD's high school that is constantly calling out directions to all the players. I was sitting next to him at a basketball game when he called out directions to my DD - nothing derogatory, trying to be helpful as she is relatively inexperienced at BB, but I knew it bothered her. I just casually said, 'You don't honestly think she hears you or can process what you're saying, do you? Because, I'm sure she doesn't". He stopped after that, at least with my DD. Had he been directing derogatory comments to her, I wouldn't have been nice. I like the idea of following the guy around to see if he'll say it while you're in reach.

 

[02Crush]

I am a coach of a TB team. From experience I can tell you that I do not hear 90% of what the parents are doing during a game. This is a tough situation. You do not want to seem like a whiner but this is your player not his. I would say email the coach. Ask for a 15 minute meeting. In that meeting describe what is happening in a simple clear way. Do not use exacting details or dwell on specific moments. Just express your concern about it and how you feel this Dad should not be allowed to coach and bark at the players from the stands. Ask what if anything can be done to temper this behavior. Let him know you are happy on the team and love the group but that this has become a situation your player cannot deal with any longer and you need his help.
If he is not sympathetic you may be looking for a new team. If he can offer his apologies and be willing to try and find some way during the season to address it be happy. There is no good way to address this. However if you come at the Dad yourself it will lead to team turmoil among the parents. If you let the coach do his job he will find some creative way to address it. Good Luck! This stinks. Not a good situation at all. I would want to wring his neck.

 

[guero_gordo]

And what about the women? Can't beat them up.

My wife will do it for a latte, call her.

 

[guero_gordo]

Just once, just once mind you, I would like a young lady who is being verbally abused by a fan to call time out, walk off the playing field over the offender, hand them her glove and tell them sounds like you can do better, so go do it and then sit down. Oh how embarrassed the offender would be.

Actually, I would not want the player to do it, but it would be funny

DD caught a popup behind the plate once while unfiltered-mom is yelling at her to throw off her helmet. After the catch, she walked right up to the fence so they are essentially face to face, looked her in the eye and said "No." then went back to work.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

Guero Gordo, That reminds me - the advice is almost always wrong, too.

 

[ktm rider]

I have zero tolerance for parents that heckle players. We do NOT tolerate this in our league. The other parents do a good job of critizing the ocassional heckler. Our umpires will throw them out of the park in a minute also. And if the umps don't hear the heckling, they are usually made aware of it by the coaches.
That being said, heckling and spirited cheering are two different things.

 

[CoachAl]

talk to your coach

I would approach your head coach about this, in a nice way of course. You might assume the coach already knows, but there have been situations where parents have said things during games that I am not aware of. There is a lot of noise and activity during a game so it's quite possible your coach is not aware of the situation, no matter how loud you think this particular dad is.

My approach here is pretty simple. Coach should warn dad once, next time it's farewell! If the coach is not willing to address it, it will resolve itself at the end of the season. Parents like this usually end up being kicked off teams or leave on their own to find greener pastures and the coaches with the magic wands....which of course don't exist....worthy to be in the presence of them and their future USA National all star DDs!!