Crazy Softball Mom

[Partyof5]

The spring season was really weird. My daughter and her friend both pitch but it was opposite each other on competing teams. The friend's team was doing really well and was undefeated after 8 games. Her team beat my daughter's team twice. All is good at this point. Then my daughter's team beat her friend's team. During that game, the mom was coming unglued in the stands, constantly running her mouth...I'm sure you know that parent (throw a strike right here; sit her down; send her back to the pine; strike her out; finish her; bring the heat; she can't hit...and on and on and on with every pitch her daughter threw). After the game, she was yelling at my daughter's team about poor sportsmanship (ironic). A couple days later when we crossed paths, she was telling me what poor sportsmanship the team had and how disrespectful the team was when she was trying to "talk" to them about it (there were no instances of poor sportsmanship unless smiling and being happy counts). I was so appalled by this lady's conduct that I told her I was. I told her that I thought she had behaved inappropriately and that she should reflect upon her own behavior before she goes around pointing fingers at others especially since she is an adult. Well, needless to say, that did not go over well and she was pretty mad and stopped talking to me for the rest of the season. We played them again and her behavior was even worse with the comments every pitch coming while my daughter was pitching (slow pitcher; she can't throw strikes; she can't strike no one out; she's gonna walk you; don't worry about this pitcher, she's not any good...and on and on and on). Now we are into the fall travel ball season and she has made contact twice with me about travel ball teams she has taken her daughter to try out for. I took my daughter the opposite direction because I would like a drama free fall season. Anyways, the two times she has contacted me, she has asked if I was taking my daughter to try out for the teams her daughter was trying out for and then proceeded to tell me how she asked the coaches if I contacted them. One I had contacted to inquire about the team and she said he told her that I had. The other I did not contact but I know the guy so I guess he told her that he knows me. What else was discussed, I have no idea. So besides that I think it is weird that she is asking coaches if I contacted them, I am concerned that she may be bad mouthing me or my daughter to these coaches. Although my daughter is not playing for those coaches this year, I would hate to have a door closed because of this mom. Has anyone ever experienced this? How do you handle parents like this?

 

[nanotech14]

Bring your video camera and take videos of her actions at a game. Then send it to the coaches, she might be bad mouthing you too. Send one to her to, show her how much of an idiot she is.

 

[chinamigarden]

Any coach who has any experience should see through any mom (who is new to the team) who is talking about another mom and or kid. I would probably be intrigued to see any kid who any other mom told me wasn't good, my first thought would be that mom was trying to keep the competition down.

I don't understand people who have to either, talk their kids up to the coach, or talk down any other kid. It shows a complete lack of faith or confidence in your child. If you truly believe that your kid can do the job let them prove it on the field. The parent who blathers on and on about how good Suzy is, usually its a red flag that either Suzy isn't all that good or the parents are bat *** crazy.

 

[redhotcoach]

It will cost her dd a spot on a team sometime if it hasn't already.

Don't let her bring you down to her level. 99% of "bad sportsmanship" comments come from sore loser, ungracious winner parents. They get mad at the other girls for being excited and celebrating their win. Then they lay on the celebration extra thick when they win and justify it with "well thats what the other team is doing." My girls have been called the b-word on bases by the other team, they have gotten beat by teams with nasty personal chants....it bothers the girls for about 2 minutes.

The final jury for her will be her own dd. I have heard several dugout comments "...well if you mom would quit yelling.....you mom is our bleacher coach....." and last year it turned into mimicing the crazy mom.

First thought in my mind with the crazy parents is low self esteem.

 

[Coach-n-Dad]

During DD's first season of TB there were 2 mommies in our bleachers that were quite vocal during games. After that season, DD moved to a different (better?) team. The teams played each other twice and both times those same mommies that loudly cheered DD when pitching for their team were making loud negative comments to her when pitching against their team. When DW and I approached them after a game they both turned their backs and pretended to not see us coming.

As the years have gone by we have reconnected (sort of) with both mommies. Their DD's both still play on low level teams and both mommies sit far down the baseline, away from other parents. I sat with one of the mommies during a HS tournament game to watch her DD and was amazed that she still makes nasty comments about the other team, and I was glad that she was at least smart enough to do it faaaaaar from anyone who could hear her.

One of the kids is an extremely good catcher and can hit the ball hard and long. She was not invited back to 2 fairly well known teams early in her "career" after just 1 season. I can only speculate on why that happened and why she isn't playing at the level I'm sure she is capable of playing at. I have a pretty good guess.

 

[JAD]

We try to identify the crazy softball parents BEFORE we offer a girl a position on our team. The softball community is pretty small and if there is a psycho softball mom/dad out there 95% of coaches know about her. We have cut a girl from our tryouts 2 years in a row because of her mother. We might be willing to put up with a crazy softball parent if their kid is a STUD (#1 pitcher or home run hitting catcher), but there are lots of good players with normal parents to fill other positions.

 

[MandM]

Rule 1- don't engage this woman- even to tell her her behavior is bad- she is not listening & while it may make you feel better- you are now wearing a target- (and she is crazy!)
Rule 2- you can't control what she says or does- you can only control yourself. When you are a good team citizen and respectful fan, other families and teams notice these things and this reflects well on you- importantly, they REALLY notice the crazies. Word gets around , and the coaches will find out

Bottom line, any parent who came to a coach and starts talking about another pitcher/family in this way- will send a red flag- but not about you- about her.
Don't waste anymore time worrying, let your demeanor and your DD's pitching speak for themselves and as frustrating as it may be for you to turn the other cheek- my advice is to let it go

 

[CoachKevin]

Well timing is what is important. I went through something similar, didn't respond, took everything they threw at me "turned the other cheek", it didn't work!!! Timing, timing timing. Do not respond at the ballpark in front of people, but in a parking lot alone... Oh hells yea, tell her what you think of her. Who cares if she doesn't like you after that.

Why is it that the loud-mouth parents get to get away with everything?

 

[Amy in AZ.]

I always suspect that the type of parent that you are describing is on something, either legal or illegal. Make certain that your DD never rides in the car with her.

 

[Coach JV]

I always suspect that the type of parent that you are describing is on something, either legal or illegal. Make certain that your DD never rides in the car with her.

Finally the voice of reason!
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