Until it comes to money. I be they talk to the parents then!
Confront a coach or not to confront?
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Until it comes to money. I be they talk to the parents then!
I think age and level of play has a lot to do with whether or not parent coach talks about playing time and/or position are appropriate or not.
As for High School I don't think a parent has any place in talking to the coach about position/playing time other than asking "what area's does my daughter need to improve in," and in nearly every case at the HS level, that should be coming from the player, not the parent.
As for High School I don't think a parent has any place in talking to the coach about position/playing time other than asking "what area's does my daughter need to improve in," and in nearly every case at the HS level, that should be coming from the player, not the parent.
- May 12, 2013
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Thanks for all the talk on this subject. I will keep everyone posted as my dd talked about this last night after the team lost 6-4 and she didn't play at all. She said she will talk to the coach herself. We will see what happens. I do think politics are involved and that is not good. Especially, since it seems the team will be mediocre at best as it gets into region play.
- Feb 22, 2013
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As to the OP, I would talk to my dd and ask her what she wants. Does she want to remain on Varsity as a backup player, or would she rather drop down to JV and compete for a starting position on JV? Some girls would tell you that they like the status of Varsity as a Freshman over playing and some girls will tell you they just want to play.
After a conversation with my dd, I would then proceed to talk to the coach, as a parent, if she requested to drop down to JV to try to attempt to win a starting position on JV or I would be content with her decision to stay on Varsity and encourage her to work as hard as she could.
If she asked me, "What my opinion was?". I would tell her. As a parent, my preference would be that she played and played often, regardless of the level of the competition at the high school level(JV vs. V). If she dropped down to JV, I would tell her that I expected her to out work every girl in practice effort wise and attitude wise.
Who knows, by the end of the season, another DFP discussion topic could be, "Is it normal for a girl to play JV the entire year without ever playing Varsity and then start a Varsity playoff game?"
I referee 60 to 90 basketball games every year at the high school JV and Varsity levels. Every year without exception, I see JV only players get a considerable amount of playing time in the District, Regional and State tournaments. At the end of the year, some coaches see value in the JV kid who took 20 shots a game over a kid who was limited to 1 or 2 shots a game.
The biggest question I would have, again is, what does your dd want to do?
After a conversation with my dd, I would then proceed to talk to the coach, as a parent, if she requested to drop down to JV to try to attempt to win a starting position on JV or I would be content with her decision to stay on Varsity and encourage her to work as hard as she could.
If she asked me, "What my opinion was?". I would tell her. As a parent, my preference would be that she played and played often, regardless of the level of the competition at the high school level(JV vs. V). If she dropped down to JV, I would tell her that I expected her to out work every girl in practice effort wise and attitude wise.
Who knows, by the end of the season, another DFP discussion topic could be, "Is it normal for a girl to play JV the entire year without ever playing Varsity and then start a Varsity playoff game?"
I referee 60 to 90 basketball games every year at the high school JV and Varsity levels. Every year without exception, I see JV only players get a considerable amount of playing time in the District, Regional and State tournaments. At the end of the year, some coaches see value in the JV kid who took 20 shots a game over a kid who was limited to 1 or 2 shots a game.
The biggest question I would have, again is, what does your dd want to do?
High school ball is political as all h*** ....the kids that get all the playing time aren't always the best players..... either live with it or move on. A lot of high school coaches are really worthless....not saying all are (don't want to open that can of worms) Coaches have friends in our case and those friends kids get all the playing time also he has a travel team and all the kids that play for him get all the playing time (even though other kids play for other travel ball teams and are just as good and some are better) it is what it is life sucks sometimes and either you play or you quit ......were their with my younger DD shes a pitcher/ middle infielder and is a freshman ....she will never pitch for her high school team(at least till her junior year) but is our main pitcher for her travel team.......she won't get pitching practice at school but she needs to pitch to stay sharp for travel after high school...high school takes up all of our time for pitching practice .....solution don't practice pitching or quit playing school ball.... nothing productive comes out of it anyway my kids regress playing school ball so why do it? ...well playing for their school is the only thing I can think of but to me if the school coach doesn't care about my kid why should I care about his team ....selfish....maybe I'm sure a lot of you will say so but you know what ....I DON"T CARE because none of you know one thing about what we go through here. end rant.
P.S. kinda funny because this coach is win at every cost .....wonder how he will deal with my DD not playing her junior and senior years when she will be the only pitcher on the team (small town I know their aren't any pitchers coming up ......just saying what comes around goes around......
P.S. kinda funny because this coach is win at every cost .....wonder how he will deal with my DD not playing her junior and senior years when she will be the only pitcher on the team (small town I know their aren't any pitchers coming up ......just saying what comes around goes around......
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- May 12, 2013
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Update: My DD did not talk to the coach like she said she was. Had a game last night that she did not get to play in again. She seemed happy and upbeat about it. My wife thinks she doesn't want to talk to the coach, she hasn't matured enough yet. I am not going to say anything to the coach - just let things be. I will talk to my DD more about it this weekend.
Now they just post their take of the conversation on facebook.....for everyone to read.
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The only time I will ever interfere/interact with another of DD's coaches, unless it's to say hello or make small talk, is when I feel they are teaching DD mechanics that have the probability of causing her injury. Other than that, it is all up to her. DD is a Freshman this year and made Varsity but will also play some games for the JV team to get more game experience (this is allowed in our state) since she has already been told that she will see little playing time for Varsity. She came home yesterday all upset because the HC had said something about stepping up her game. I asked DD what was her reply. She said, "Nothing." I told her that if I were in her position, I would have said something along the lines of " Okay Coach. Can you please tell me what you saw that I was doing wrong so I can go home and work on it?" At this point in her life, I feel it's time for her to learn the proper way to handle conflict/talk to authority figures respectfully and to take responsibility for her playing time.
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I'll take this on a tanget.
Why is it that (some) TB and HS coaches think they don't have to speak with the parents?
I get that you don't want to deal with each and every petty issue, but still.
I've always tried to comply, but the minute I hear this rule pronounced, I immediately think what they are trying to hide? Is it 1) they can't justify their position and it is easier to dismiss a player than an adult -or- 2) they can't, don't know how, or don't want to have conversations with other adults.
In our experience coaching and parenting the coaches who advoate this seems like the ones who struggle. The open coaches have better results.
TB is a business. Like it or not the parents are the customers purchasing a product for their child. What other entity wouldn't want to speak with their customers?
If you are doing the best thing for the team, then what is the problem?
Why is it that (some) TB and HS coaches think they don't have to speak with the parents?
I get that you don't want to deal with each and every petty issue, but still.
I've always tried to comply, but the minute I hear this rule pronounced, I immediately think what they are trying to hide? Is it 1) they can't justify their position and it is easier to dismiss a player than an adult -or- 2) they can't, don't know how, or don't want to have conversations with other adults.
In our experience coaching and parenting the coaches who advoate this seems like the ones who struggle. The open coaches have better results.
TB is a business. Like it or not the parents are the customers purchasing a product for their child. What other entity wouldn't want to speak with their customers?
If you are doing the best thing for the team, then what is the problem?
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- May 14, 2010
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I won't argue that some HS coaches are worthless. But that percentage is much smaller than the percentage of worthless parents. Some coaches have favorites. But every parent has a favorite player.
You're right. I know nothing about your situation. I didn't realize that HS practices are 8 hrs long where you are. They must be otherwise you would have time for pitching practice afterwards. I know my DD's have always had time after HS practice for hitting and pitching. But then we don't waste our time whining and ranting about the big Meanie HS coaches and how unfair everything is.
Just because your DD isn't the starting P as a freshman doesn't mean the HS coach doesn't care about her. Maybe the HS coach doesn't care for the family attitude. Maybe your DD isn't nearly as good as you think she is. Around here, a freshman starting on her 16U team doesn't mean much when it comes to Varsity. My youngest DD was a #1 on her 18 team and can't hardly get on the mound in HS as a SR. I'd say it's politics but I'm the coach.
Speaking as a HS coach, do us a favor. Make your DD quit. Your Blood Pressure will go down. Then in a couple years, when the college coach calls me to ask about your DD (And they do frequently), I can share with them my perspective. And then she may not ever have to worry about the stress of playing in college...
