Celebrating mediocrity

[Coachmom]

I coach in our local rec ball league and we are approaching our end of the season. As part of our closing day activities the teams in each division all play their Championship games followed by a BBQ, then they play what's called an All League game.
I get this email yesterday regarding All League game selection process and it says that coaches are to select from the top 5-6 players on their team to play in this game BUT we cannot select any player who is picked for All-Stars.

So my reaction, after rereading the email several times is confusion. What is an All League game? What is the philosophy behind it? Why is it an honor to play in it? What message are we trying to send to players? How am I to choose players for this game other than telling them you can be picked IF you are not already an all-star?
Lastly, since we are a relatively small league, most of the 12U pitchers will end up playing all-stars, who is going to pitch for this game?

I wrote our BoD president with these questions and the only response I've received so far is that the BoD voted on it at the last meeting so that's the way it is.

Am I being unreasonable here? I'm just trying to get an explanation of what the point of this game is if we are not allowing the best players in the league to play in it, simply because they are already all stars. If the league is having an All-League game shouldn't there be some sort of philosophy behind it?

PS, I do not have a daughter in the league any longer, I am just a coach, so my only motivation is to celebrate and honor excellence on the softball field, not exclude it.

Any thoughts?

 

[SoCalDad]

Where to start. I have been involved in Rec Ball for almost 20 years and have my own perspective. About 20 years ago my local town did not have a youth softball league. For girls the choices were: Play Pony Baseball or drive 20+ miles to the surrounding towns that did have leagues. A buddy and I decided on a different approach. We went around to the local schools, churches and youth groups and heavily advertised that we were starting a league. We registered and insured with ASA and the first year we had 60 girls from 8 u - 14 u. We had to get creative forming teams but everyone had a good time and positive word of mouth spread. Over the next 8 years DD #1 was in the league we grew from the original 60 to over 350. We became an area powerhouse because we focused on bringing everyone up to the highest common denominator and not the lowest (which you seem to be facing with this all league game). We stressed fun and competition. You can have both. The last three years I was in charge of the league we fielded two all-star teams from 8U through 14U. We always had a first year team and a second year team per division. This ensured we were always able to field at least one very competitive team per division. We were successful.

Then DD #1 aged out and I left the league and board. Over the next 5 years the league changed directions completely. The mentality went from everyone needs to work to earn a trophy, to just show up and you get one. All-star teams went from being competitive to being an extra 8 weeks where a select group of friends get to play tournaments. Registrations dropped from 350 the year I left to 220 when I returned 5 years later. I rejoined the board and I spent the next 6 years trying to rebuild the league to where it was. I was not successful. Something has changed in parents and I am not sure what it is. Sometimes I think it is a sense of entitlement and sometimes selfishness. Whatever it is it has infected rec ball to the point where my rec league is little more than a baby sitting service where you drop your kids off and pick them up a couple of hours later. You take no interest in player development but you do take every opportunity to complain when your DD doesn't get what she wants (playing time, playing position, all-star selection, etc).

Apologies for the rant but the above are my thoughts.

 

[andyh64000]

I kind of agree with your BoD depending on what your league is like. The girls who are all-stars are very likely going to stay interested in softball and will return. Maybe this extra game is would encourage the girls who are not there yet to also return.

Our league has had a difficult time keeping a large player base. I don't know about your area but here Lacrosse is now extremely popular in the spring and begining at 9 years old we also have to compete with year round premier soccer (where the coaches demand that soccer takes precidence over any other sport). So if this exhibition game is designed to keep more girls involved and interested in softball then I think it is a great idea.

 

[Jojo]

Sounds like your league is trying to make those girls happy that didn't make all-stars.
I've seen many leagues develop an A team All-stars and a B team All-Stars for all those that didn't make the first team cut.

I see it as trying to keep everyone happy to get them all back next year.

 

[EP Dad]

Sounds like your league is trying to make those girls happy that didn't make all-stars.
I've seen many leagues develop an A team All-stars and a B team All-Stars for all those that didn't make the first team cut.

I see it as trying to keep everyone happy to get them all back next year.

I think you're right on the mark. Like andyh64000 just mentioned above, when you are competing for athletes with soccer and lacrosse (huge in the city I'm in) you have to do whatever it takes to keep the girls happy and having fun.

 

[Coachmom]

I agree with socal dad...something is changing in the mentality of the parents on these boards. The next 2 responses in this thread exhibit that mentality perfectly.
Everybody's special in their own way so if you can't be an all-star lets give them something else and maybe they will love softball even more.

After coaching softball for 10+ years I have come to one sure conclusion:
The girls that love softball will return whether they are all stars, all league or nothing.
My DD's school team is composed of players that grew up in our rec league and of the 12 on the team at least 4 never made all-stars or had any other recognition. But they loved the sport, had good reasonable parents and continued to play.


It does sound like the league is trying to make girls (ie...parents) happy that did not make all-stars.
My question remains, what is the meaning behind this game?
Don't you think that an exhibition game at the end of the softball season should be exhibiting something?
What are we exhibiting if it is NOT the best that our league has to offer?

It really reminds me of a scene in the move The Incredibles:

Dash really wants to play sports with his friends at school but his mom won't let him because he is too good and therefore it could cause problems in the community.

Dash: Maybe I could, if you'd let me go out for sports.
Helen: Honey, you know why we can't do that.
Dash: But I promise I'll slow up. I'll only be the best by a tiny bit.
Dash: Dashiell Robert Parr, you are an incredibly competitive boy, and a bit of a show-off. The last thing you need is temptation.
Dash: You always say 'Do your best', but you don't really mean it. Why can't I do the best that I can do?
Helen: Right now, honey, the world just wants us to fit in, and to fit in, we gotta be like everyone else.
Dash: But Dad always said our powers were nothing to be ashamed of, our powers made us special.
Helen: Everyone's special, Dash.
Dash: [muttering] Which is another way of saying no one is.

As Jojo illustrated so well in the response "I see it as trying to keep everyone happy to get them all back next year."

That should be the goal of a softball league, keeping everyone happy? I thought teaching softball should be the goal of a softball program but I'm old school.

 

[andyh64000]

It is one exhibition game after a BBQ what does it hurt? The all-stars are already set and they will keep playing this summer what's wrong with giving some other players one more game?

That being said...since I am a 10u coach I am kind of in that mindset where this might be more appropriate.

"That should be the goal of a softball league, keeping everyone happy? I thought teaching softball should be the goal of a softball program but I'm old school."

I think a primary goal (especially a rec league) should be for the girls to have fun...and not just the good ones.

 

[EP Dad]

Coachmom,

All great points and I agree with all of them. I think though Softball has a tougher hill to climb than some other sports like basketball, soccer, and lacrosse. Those sports feed the ADD culture and softball does not. You need special talents to play softball and those talents sometimes take longer to develop and if you lose the kids at 10U you may never get them back.

 

[Coachmom]

Having fun and keeping everyone happy are not the same thing.
Having fun in a softball context is really what we are really talking about otherwise we could all just get together and have a party.
Having fun is the primary goal of our rec league, yet within the context of softball.
You are assuming that the goal is not being achieved unless everyone gets recognized for something.


To me the harm is this:
#1 An end of season exhibition game should have a purpose other than "keeping everyone happy"
#2 We have excluded the best of the league based on their ability which is reverse discrimination.
#3 The All-Star caliber players are excluded from playing in front of their home town, while the middle of the road players are celebrated sends the wrong message to everyone regarding the spirit of the game.

 

[andyh64000]

I understand what you are saying...I just don't think the negatives outweigh the positives.

Honestly, I wouldn't have a problem if it was an exhibition game with only all-star players (when I was 12 we had an all-stars vs the parents game at our Little League BBQ). I just don't think the way your league is doing it is that bad and has some positive aspects.