Can a coach tell a kid at a tryout they know she is trying out for other teams and name them?

[JeffTracy]

Player is trying out for a couple teams for next season. In her first tryout one of the coaches, a very seasoned coach comes up to her and tells her he knows she is trying out for other teams and names them. He is right about one, wrong about another but approaching a teenage kid and putting them on the spot about trying out for other teams is, IMO, incredibly unethical.

If the player or parent offers the information that is fine, but this is not a question a coach should ask for specifics on, and not to the player. And it's even worse when they already know...what does that do except put the kid in an awkward position? Does it make the coach feel good or powerful? Why does the coach have to demonstrate this power/knowledge to the kid?

I would think a coach interested in a player would have a general conversation with the player AND parent after the tryout about whether they are trying out for other teams. This is an important part of the discussion with timing of tryouts and team decisions, etc.

If I'm interviewing candidates for a job, I would never ask them who else they are interviewing for. Nevermind doing this to a teenager.

I'd love some feedback on this.

 

[Veryzer]

So was it said as a kind of "gotcha"? If so, it seems pretty jerky to me. Why not try out for multiple teams and see which teams she makes and then which of those is the best fit? The coaches aren't declaring loyalty to the kid when she shows up to the tryout. Why on earth should the reverse be true?

 

[nightskiier]

Ugh - if it weren't softball and it were dating, the coach would be a stalker. This is the whole idea behind tryouts - you go and see what team you can do best in.

 

[CrazyNani]

Well the kid is also assessing the team and the coaches so, he helped her make her decision...I would think.

 

[black17]

Is it possible he is just trying to get to know the player? Honestly, unless you live in an area with tons of teams, maybe its common knowledge that players try out for other similar teams. In my area, it would be very easy to do that. The fact that he got one wrong somewhat indicates he was just fishing and didn't really know.

Without being present, I admit, it sounds a little weird, but I can also see my scenario as a possibility too.

**EDIT** regarding the part about not asking a job applicant who else they are interviewing with, if college in is the kids future, every interested coach will ask you what other schools you are talking too. Every single one my DD talked to ask her that. Some very early, some late in the game. The funny part is I'm pretty sure DD told each of them different schools. LOL. I need to talk to her about that and see if she just paniced or if she had a reason for doing that.

 

[JeffTracy]

Is it possible he is just trying to get to know the player? Honestly, unless you live in an area with tons of teams, maybe its common knowledge that players try out for other similar teams. In my area, it would be very easy to do that. The fact that he got one wrong somewhat indicates he was just fishing and didn't really know.

Without being present, I admit, it sounds a little weird, but I can also see my scenario as a possibility too.

**EDIT** regarding the part about not asking a job applicant who else they are interviewing with, if college in is the kids future, every interested coach will ask you what other schools you are talking too. Every single one my DD talked to ask her that. Some very early, some late in the game. The funny part is I'm pretty sure DD told each of them different schools. LOL. I need to talk to her about that and see if she just paniced or if she had a reason for doing that.

There are better ways to get to know a player than saying "I know you are trying out for so-and-so's team".


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[JeffTracy]

Well the kid is also assessing the team and the coaches so, he helped her make her decision...I would think.

Agreed


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[JeffTracy]

Ugh - if it weren't softball and it were dating, the coach would be a stalker. This is the whole idea behind tryouts - you go and see what team you can do best in.

If it was an immature or new coach I may not have been so alarmed. I fully assume coaches will do their due diligence on a player, gathering information they can. My issue is with putting the player on the spot at the tryout, asking if they are tryout out for other teams then stating which teams they are trying out for.


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[CMMom1740]

Another version of this: DD went to a tryout several years ago. At the end, HC brought the girls into the dugout, sat them down, and asked "How many of you would say yes right now if we offered you a spot on our team?" I mean, what 14 or 15 year old is NOT going to raise their hand? And then says, "OK, so I expect immediate yeses from you when we call your parent to make you an offer." I happened to be close enough to overhear this, but most parents were not within earshot. DD didn't get an offer, but I was glad since this team wasn't her first choice and we had other tryouts already lined up. Coaches who expect an immediate "yes" no questions asked and with no input from parents are jerks, plain and simple.

 

[radness]

Player is trying out for a couple teams for next season. In her first tryout one of the coaches, a very seasoned coach comes up to her and tells her he knows she is trying out for other teams and names them. He is right about one, wrong about another but approaching a teenage kid and putting them on the spot about trying out for other teams is, IMO, incredibly unethical.

If the player or parent offers the information that is fine, but this is not a question a coach should ask for specifics on, and not to the player. And it's even worse when they already know...what does that do except put the kid in an awkward position? Does it make the coach feel good or powerful? Why does the coach have to demonstrate this power/knowledge to the kid?

I would think a coach interested in a player would have a general conversation with the player AND parent after the tryout about whether they are trying out for other teams. This is an important part of the discussion with timing of tryouts and team decisions, etc.

If I'm interviewing candidates for a job, I would never ask them who else they are interviewing for. Nevermind doing this to a teenager.

I'd love some feedback on this.

Simply
Yes thats what players do.
Not uncommon
Not strange
No e.s.p. here

Unless the conversation was applied to offering a spot and getting a time frame for a decision...seems could be
Coach made it awkward.

Btw anybody I interviewed for a job I always believe they've already have out multiple applications I know I would that's normal too.