- May 25, 2010
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Don't say anything beforehand, just do it. What happens if your search turns up nothing? If you do find a better opportunity, then say something to the current coach.
Advice needed..Should we pull DD from team?
- Thread starter thefinest
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Watch out for the "dread the practices and games" signs. My GDD has been getting that feeling all spring with her current team. For reasons I will not go into, at the advise of her personal coach she started playing with a first year 12u team. Unfortunately this team would barely beat a 10u team. The head coach is atrocious, I don't think he has ever played softball or baseball in his life. He ask for advice and you give it to him and he calls it bashing. It has gotten so bad even the parents are grumbling loudly and an assistant coach almost quit mid-tournament this weekend.
My son gave my GDD the "commitment speech" several weeks ago. But now we are seeing the "dread the practices and games" signs and she doesn't want to practice on her own.
After school is out in June, I plan on having a week long "boot camp" with her. I will try to make it fun for her and teach her some basics of playing 1st and 3rd (she catches all the games now and does not get a chance in games or practices), running bases, game situations, etc. Then at the end of June she goes to a very good softball camp for 4 days. Hopefully she can get onto more competitive team in the fall and she can start having fun once again.
My son gave my GDD the "commitment speech" several weeks ago. But now we are seeing the "dread the practices and games" signs and she doesn't want to practice on her own.
After school is out in June, I plan on having a week long "boot camp" with her. I will try to make it fun for her and teach her some basics of playing 1st and 3rd (she catches all the games now and does not get a chance in games or practices), running bases, game situations, etc. Then at the end of June she goes to a very good softball camp for 4 days. Hopefully she can get onto more competitive team in the fall and she can start having fun once again.
We went through this last fall although my DD ( 12U ) is a catcher. Went back to rec and she is having a great time as number 1 catcher. Her skills are always improving every game. We have a great rec program here, BTW. She made the allstar team and is making new friends and having fun. To me that is what is most important. She now catches for girls at their pitching practices which keeps her getting better.
I have a couple of personal experiences to share. The first is my son Eric with an "elite" soccer team. It was exciting at first for him to be on that team, and he practiced hard with them. But it became evident as time wore on that the coach (who was also coaching another team) didn't think much of him or the other kids on this team. Long story short, Eric (who lived for soccer) started dreading going to practices and games. While we are generally the type that say stick it out, in this case it was obviously not a good situation. We pulled him off the team, he played with a group of guys from his high school that summer, and he was much happier. The next year he tried for another elite team, made it, and enjoyed the experience. Quitting was the right move for us.
The second has to do with a couple of my students on a 10U team a couple of years ago. They were both wooed and promised all this great stuff, but when the season started they found themselves watching a lot of games from the bench. The parents would travel two to three hours and stay in a hotel only to see their kids sit out most of the games. And it's not that they were any less skilled than the other kids -- the coach just seemed to think so. Fast forward a couple of years and both of them are playing on a higher-level team (in the program I'm a part of, although not my team) and doing well. One of them is also playing middle school ball and dominating -- double-digit strikeouts every game. And this was a kid who couldn't get an inning at 10U. Both sets of parents are sorry they ever played on that 10U team.
Life's too short to put up with that kind of stuff at 10U. If she's not getting the opportunity to play and develop where she wants to be, it'll be a wasted year. Now, if she's given an opportunity and doesn't perform that's different. At that point it's on you and her to get better. But if she's not getting the opportunity to even try, it's time to look elsewhere. Even if it is a "downgrade." Unless, of course, winning is more important to you, in which case stay where you are.
The second has to do with a couple of my students on a 10U team a couple of years ago. They were both wooed and promised all this great stuff, but when the season started they found themselves watching a lot of games from the bench. The parents would travel two to three hours and stay in a hotel only to see their kids sit out most of the games. And it's not that they were any less skilled than the other kids -- the coach just seemed to think so. Fast forward a couple of years and both of them are playing on a higher-level team (in the program I'm a part of, although not my team) and doing well. One of them is also playing middle school ball and dominating -- double-digit strikeouts every game. And this was a kid who couldn't get an inning at 10U. Both sets of parents are sorry they ever played on that 10U team.
Life's too short to put up with that kind of stuff at 10U. If she's not getting the opportunity to play and develop where she wants to be, it'll be a wasted year. Now, if she's given an opportunity and doesn't perform that's different. At that point it's on you and her to get better. But if she's not getting the opportunity to even try, it's time to look elsewhere. Even if it is a "downgrade." Unless, of course, winning is more important to you, in which case stay where you are.
Based on what you have said it comes down to whether you want your daughter to pitch or not. If the team has three good pitchers, and they are a good team, then they probably don't have enough innings to keep the ones they currently play happy.
With that being said I think you really only have one option and that is finding another team. The only thing you should be thinking is how do I keep my daughter in love with softball. Once you figure it out and it sounds like you have the decision is easy.
With that being said I think you really only have one option and that is finding another team. The only thing you should be thinking is how do I keep my daughter in love with softball. Once you figure it out and it sounds like you have the decision is easy.
My DD's 10U team has three pitchers, but the coach has decided to use 1 during bracket games, as he says he needs to do whatever necessary to win the games. We went 2-2 this weekend in bracket play....I'm not thinking it's working too good for him...
And this is a guy who claims he wants to "develop" players.
Whatever....
And this is a guy who claims he wants to "develop" players.
Whatever....
My Advice to you...
Find a team where she will get playing time. Ask the coach directly what your DD's role is going to be in the long term. Lay out your expectations. Do what is best for your child.
Find a team where she will get playing time. Ask the coach directly what your DD's role is going to be in the long term. Lay out your expectations. Do what is best for your child.
Greenmonsters
Wannabe Duck Boat Owner
And please, please do your homework and find out what positions the manager's and coaches' DDs play so that you don't have a repeat of your current situation.
Communication with the manager is very important in this situation. I would talk with him and let him know what you are thinking. Ask him about any promises that were made and that are not being followed through on. And finally ask him what your DD to earn more playing time in the infield and in the circle. Any good coach should welcome this type of discussion.
After this discussion you should then be able to make a better decision on how to proceed. Good luck.
After this discussion you should then be able to make a better decision on how to proceed. Good luck.
update
We ended up pulling her. She was scheduled to have another tournament with the team this weekend and she did not want to go. I was hoping she'd at least go to one more but she was very adamant. Rather than dragging it out we made the call to the coach. We basically just told him that she was not having fun and not getting a chance to develop.
Not sure if we'll look for another team or just let her continue to play on her rec teams which she loves. She says she still wants to play travel ball but I think she could benefit from a break for a couple weeks and then decide what she wants to do.
Thanks everyone for the advice..it made our decision easier.
We ended up pulling her. She was scheduled to have another tournament with the team this weekend and she did not want to go. I was hoping she'd at least go to one more but she was very adamant. Rather than dragging it out we made the call to the coach. We basically just told him that she was not having fun and not getting a chance to develop.
Not sure if we'll look for another team or just let her continue to play on her rec teams which she loves. She says she still wants to play travel ball but I think she could benefit from a break for a couple weeks and then decide what she wants to do.
Thanks everyone for the advice..it made our decision easier.
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