A change in mentality question for the group.....

[JAD]

An interesting dilemma developed with my DD's TB team that I thought I would share with the group to solicit opinions on the subject.

My DD had played on the same TB team for 7 years (started as an independent team and joined a 2nd tier organization at second year 14U). DD was part of the "core" the team was built around. A lot of players changed over the years, but every year we got a little better and increased our level of play. The head coach had a "no pickup" policy, which was fine at 10U, 12U and 14U because it was all about the team. Our dilemma started at 16U. My DD has a goal of playing D1 college softball, and there were probably 2-3 other girls on the team with lower D1 talent, but the rest of the team was D2, D3, NAIA, or JUCO. We were not part of a marquee organization so our team did not get invited to the major showcases - Independence, Demarini, PGF. My DD was invited to guest play in CO at the Independence and we decided to go, which turned out to be a blessing because it is the reason my DD is verballed today. So my question to the group, is it OK to switch from a "team first" to a "recruiting first" mentality at 16U? Our head coach did not want to change his mentality, so we changed teams at the end of the season. Unfortunately, when my DD left, a lot of other "core players" decided to leave too. The team ended up folding, and I felt badly about it, but we needed to do what was best for my DD.

 

[SoGASoftball]

JAD, your asking the question reveals that you are a stand up guy or gal. Personally, I can see why you feel bad, but beginning 14u, I can see a major shift in players goals. Some realize boys are more important while some just get tired of the grind. For those who have the true passion to play at the next level, they need to make decisions to benefit themselves. Who knows? Something else could have easily made the team fold at that age.

 

[GOINGDEEP]

is it OK to switch from a "team first" to a "recruiting first" mentality at 16U?

Absolutely. Just about everyone I know who "wanted" to play at the college level made a team move after/around 14u. We had our core from 6u to second year 14's. As a family/team we had made the choice we would disband in the fall before 16u. One of the things we did do ( as 14's ) was to enter a few 16-18u tournaments who had established showcase teams entered. As coaches we would talk to those showcase coaches and let them know which girls would be interested in joining their organization. It gave the girls a chance to show their stuff in a real game environment, and those coaches got an easy way to evaluate them.

What you did is pretty normal.

 

[JAD]

JAD, your asking the question reveals that you are a stand up guy or gal. Personally, I can see why you feel bad, but beginning 14u, I can see a major shift in players goals. Some realize boys are more important while some just get tired of the grind. For those who have the true passion to play at the next level, they need to make decisions to benefit themselves. Who knows? Something else could have easily made the team fold at that age.

Thank you for the kind words. My primary purpose in posting this thread was to help some coaches understand the change in priorities most families go through once recruiting becomes a focus.

 

[djcarter1966]

As long as your team was not supposed to be playing at another tournament, like the XYZ state championship that was their goal tournament at the beginning of the year and your DD guesting forced them to forfeit or go without their #1 pitcher, I don't see a problem. IF the coach won't let his players guest but then turns around and won't give his #3 or #4 pitcher circle time or won't work to get his stars to showcases or work relationships with local college coaches he has to live with the consequences.

 

[SBmom8992]

Thank you for the kind words. My primary purpose in posting this thread was to help some coaches understand the change in priorities most families go through once recruiting becomes a focus.

I'm interested to know if you're feeling any animosity from the coach or remaining players' families since your DD departing seemed to start a domino effect. I hope not, but wouldn't be surprised since you posted this question.

FWIW, I totally agree with your decision and applaud your DD for deciding to follow her passion.

 

[JAD]

I'm interested to know if you're feeling any animosity from the coach or remaining players' families since your DD departing seemed to start a domino effect. I hope not, but wouldn't be surprised since you posted this question.

FWIW, I totally agree with your decision and applaud your DD for deciding to follow her passion.

I have no animosity towards the old TB coach, but after the team folded he "defriended" me on all social media and other than an occasional text we have not spoken since. I hate it because I considered him a good friend and I am sure that after some time has passed things will improve.

 

[29dad]

I still have a ton of animosity towards you over IDT. In case others don't know, we begged JAD's DD to pitch for us that tournament. Instead she pitched for some east coast team with apparently NO DFP CONNECTION!! Members of the DFP community, I ask you, is that right? Is that proper? We received some malarkey about having committed to the other team first, but what price family, JAD? Your DFP brother needed your help. Instead you turned your back on me and took your 30 pieces of silver from some fancy east coast team that is possibly financed by Tony Soprano. As we were battling the Beverly Bandits at midnight on Saturday night, our 4-1 lead slipping away, now 4-3 with Bandits on base, our two pitchers spent, I thought, "JAD's DD, where are you? We need you! Help!!" But by that time she was already back in Georgia.

Oh, sorry about hijacking your thread.

 

[knightsb]

JAD, I could have written your original post word-for-word, all the way down to the IDT.

29dad, you'd be pleased to know that we DID guest play for a DFP brother Crankermo's team at the IDT, and thanks to him we have a new home on his DDs team.

 

[Momo'sDad]

I have no animosity towards the old TB coach, but after the team folded he "defriended" me on all social media and other than an occasional text we have not spoken since. I hate it because I considered him a good friend and I am sure that after some time has passed things will improve.

Aw, that's a bummer, but I have too many followers on social media anyway, so it's actually a blessing when some of them self-delete. lol

The moment and the timing will vary, but what you described happens to everyone in the game someday. I think the guys I'm fortunate to coach with know that I'm ride-or-die with them. When the day comes that our daughters part company on the softball field, the relationships will remain solid.

We've got a talented roster, but I don't know what everyone's college plans are for their daughters...who are all just 12yo. Because there's so much talent, though, it made sense for us to move to an A-level organization to better position our players to compete for slots on showcase teams over the next few years. One of our goals is to get each of our young women ready for the next "best opportunity" for them that comes along, wherever that may be.