12yo playing 16u softball HELP!!

[Bassinhunter]

Needing some advice. My daughter is 12 years old and has been playing softball since age 9. She turns 13 in November. She has been working with a pitching coach since age 9 and plays pitcher and infield. Her pitching coach is and amazing guy and has taken a lot of time with her and taken her under his wing to teach her as much as he could. He also coached my sister 25 years ago all the way through 12u-18u and even in high school. He's a great coach and has send hundreds of softball girls on to college scholorships. He started a team years ago that runs from 12u-18u. Back in the good old days he had a lot to do with the younger teams and coached almost all divisions as much as humanly possible. Currently he is a little older and focuses on the 16u and 18u. His focus is getting these kids out of our home state and flying all over the country to the tournaments where the scouts are. They play the best of the best. Now my daughter started with little league like most and won district then went to state. Next was 12u and then she just won her middle school championship as a 6th grader. We moved her up to the 14u division just this spring. We have had a ton of problems with coaching (no discipline, lack of skills training) lots of problems with kids attitudes (with no consequences) and even problems with parents yelling terrible things to kids playing. We have also had parents upset because their 14/15 year old kids sit while some younger kids play. It's been a mess. I just found out the same coach will be returning to coach for fall ball. Her pitching coach and coach of the 16u and 18u team found out about what happened and just laughed saying they are really going to be pissed when I take her for 16 and 18u. I didn't tell him about the drama mostly because I hate it and don't want to be associated with that behavior. Now he reached out to a mutual friend and said have him talk to be about moving her to the 16u team. I know for a lot of teams 16u isn't a big deal, in fact she played against 3 local 16u teams this past weekend and she did well, but I'm worried about local 16u teams vs national 16u teams. I'm worried about her not being able to compete. I'm worried about her getting hurt and possibly not having friends due to being so much younger than other girls. I do know they have a couple of younger girls 14-15 years old. This 16u team practices with the 18u team and some already have college scholorships in place. They are no joke and these girls are awesome. I'm down to earth enough to know my daughter isn't at that level right now. She could still be playing 12 til the end of the year. I feel like she is very lucky because no 12 year old has ever had this opportunity. If she learns and professes it could be a blessing. I'm wondering if anyone has advice. Do I send her with a coach that's is one of the best in the country and let him make her great or play it safe and let her play where she's at another year to gain some confidence. She works her tail off and wants to play softball at the college level more than anything. She would be the worst kid on the team by far hitting wise but she can pitch and field. She's about 105 lbs 5'2" and is throwing 50 off the mound walk throughs are 55mph. She can hit her spots. I know 50 is slow for 16u but she has been gaining steadily. Can anyone give me some advice? Anything else I should consider before making this decision? Anyone have a child that did the same thing?? Thoughts from experienced coaches?? Help I want to do what's best for her.

 

[djcarter1966]

While I know YOU really want this my first and second thought would be NO. Now if you live in the middle of nowhere and there are no other options out there fine otherwise I would tryout with clubs you trust (you should be plugged in and know which teams to avoid) and accept an offer from the the best 14U team where she would be the #1 pitcher, if she is really that good and you don't have the parents rose colored glasses on that does not sound like it should be a problem. Let the coach that wants her to move up know you just think she is not ready and needs to change environments.

Skill wise you are right even hitting spots and moving the ball around throwing 50mph to a national caliber 16U team will not end well, you might get through the line up once because they can't wait on what is basically a change up but she will get hammered the other thing that worries me is you said she does not hit well which means she will probably be on the bench when not pitching and at 16U she would probably be a #2 or #3 pitcher, so she will see time in maybe 20-25% of games gaining almost no experience.

Finally and probably most importantly is maturity, guesting is one thing but being full time with a bunch of HS girls can expose her too soon to things you might not want her exposed to.

 

[MNDad]

Age wise skipping 14U to play 16U happens all the time. Which is really what we’re talking about here. She’s 12 now, but, she’ll be 14U in a few weeks. (Most teams/kids move up after Nationals and not at the end of the year). The big question is her maturity level and if you want her introduced to things 17-18 yo’s talk about at 13? If yes, go for it. My only concern would be her small size and lack of speed. She’s going to get lit up in fall ball while she adjusts to the better hitters and matures some physically. By next spring if she puts the work in she should be fine. Best of luck!

 

[Bassinhunter]

Djcarter,

Those were all my concerns. Especially her being exposed to things from hs girls. The coach also said she would get pool games but wouldn't get tournament time unless she was producing. The team plays some local tournament which they just dominate. I think I'm going to sit down and talk with the coach and see what his response is to all these negatives. He currently has a 14 year old playing 18u and over the past year he's been telling me she will be ready for 18u when she's 14. I personally don't want any of this for myself just want what's best for her long term. I've heard different opinions about how she would play to her level of competition, but wanted other opinions because it's a huge step.

 

[redhotcoach]

Dd had a 12u eligible girl subbing in vs some of the best 18u teams. She did awesome. No one could have ever guessed an age difference. Just in my head and what DW and I talked about that were beneficial: Dd's team has a lot of confidence and in coming subs have all been welcome. The players don't seem to be threatened by anyone and accept/admire players that have good talent. Someone younger, new, or struggling gets extra love. Just Sunday I said to a nervous friend that dd is moving from 14 to 16/18; "dude, by end of day 1 in first tourney she will have forgot that there is any difference."

Guess that was not much advice, but just my opionion of importance in the team dynamic.

 

[sluggers]

I'm a little confused by your post. Is your DD going to start playing 16U right now, at the end of July? Or, is she going to wait until 2017 and play 16U when she is 13YOA? Is she going to join the team for fall ball?

I've known several girls who played 16U at 13YOA. My DD played 16U at 13YOA. I know one girl (Samantha Findlay) who played 18U at 12YOA.

Maturity isn't really an issue, assuming you are there to be a buffer if something does happen. On a good team, 16U girls are on the team to play softball, not make BFFs.

a) If the coach is good, he will pitch your DD against lesser competition. I'm sure he has a "big dog" pitcher on his team who will face the top teams.
b) As long as you are planning to travel with her, maturity isn't a problem. 12YOA and 13YOA girls are much more worldly than the parents want to believe.
c) I would be more concerned about playing time...what exactly is the coach's plan for your DD? How much will she pitch? Will she play other positions?

 

[quincy]

Guest playing for Team would be OK, I would be hesitate for DD to make that big of an age jump. Not worried about SB part, other things going on would make me nervous.

 

[let it be fun]

A lot of girls skip 14U altogether. If they play in open showcases and tournaments they are playing against 18U players at age 13. It happens all the time. In my opinion, if you are concerned about her ability to compete, you probably have your answer right there. Most of these young kids can compete at that level and that is why they move up. If she is only a pitcher, that can be even tougher for her. If she does not produce and can't land a spot on the field somewhere else, I am not sure what the benefit is. I agree with some of the other folks in saying that perhaps you should talk to the coach and find the best 14U team you can get her on where she will see a lot of circle time. That will better prepare her for the jump to 16U/18U.

 

[murphdog]

I'd be more concerned about her being with all players who are much older than her not because they could be better players but because of what 16/17 year old girls talk about.
My DD is 15 and plays 18U, she is the youngest on her team but she is also just about to start her junior year of high school so while she is younger she is the same grade as most of the girls on the team, just has a late birthday so maturity wise she is right there with the rest of them.

If she is mature for her age it might not be an issue, if not, you may find yourself explaining things to her that she hears in the dugout

 

[djcarter1966]

Re-reading and seeing that she will be 13 eases my thoughts a little, but I think other posters are talking about girls where there is not a talent drop off and from your post it seem you don't think she would play much outside the circle and she will get maybe a pool game and half or so on the weekends and as others have said if she is not producing as much as the coach likes her it will be hard to get playing time. These decisions are never easy...best of luck.