Dealing with team's diamond diva

mmmmmmmmmmm

BobInMadison said:

My parents did not get involved in my grades at the college level.

There were very few times they got involved in an earlier level, and those were extreme cases.

None of the regrades I've ever asked for or have done at the college level ever involved students. If you are hearing from parents these days, at the college level, then that IS something new. The last time I taught was spring 1999, and up to that time, I had never once heard from any parents about a grade.

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Parent involvement at the pre-college level is understandable. I was speaking of my experiences at the University level within the last 5 to 10 years. As I mentioned I don't think the parents
understand the long-term impact of doing this sort of thing on the development of their child as a young adult. Their views seems to be that they are paying good money for their child to get a degree
so that they then can get a good job and a bad grade, in their mind, is a big impediment towards that goal.

pattar said:

I agree that the world is a more complex now then it was for previous generations. However I also think that many (mostly) well-intentioned parents are making it more difficult for their
children to navigate this more complex world by not letting their children deal with their own failures. As an example, I would have never thought about asking my parents to call/contact professors/administrators
to complain about a bad grade when I was in college, nor did I ever hear of/know anybody doing this. It is now a common occurrence at my University. While I understand that some
of this has to do with the exuberant cost of higher ed, leading to the student as a consumer view of higher education, I believe this sort of action stunts a young person's growth as an individual. Parent's
are, in general, much more involved with their child's day to day activities than they were say 20-30 years ago. Much of this is a good thing but there are some circumstances when a parent needs to
let their kid skin their proverbial knee once in a while.

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I've hear this can happen in college. Having gone through college myself and having 2 kids in there now I couldn't possibly imagine getting involved with a professor unless it was to tell them I'm sorry my kid won't be in your class because he's currently in the hospital, he'll contact you for missed work when he gets out.

Elk Grove Hurricane said:

Coogans, great posts with a ton of good points. Where I grew up, youth sports sucked. School sports, Little League, Babe Ruth, some youth hockey league, individual skiing, and a youth basketball league geared towards elementary schools were all we had and pretty much everyone made a team if they were willing to try out. There wasn't anything like the competitive teams that my DD's try out for, and you could forget about traveling hundreds of miles to play because parents didn't want to pay those kinds of prices for sports. Nobody trained with private hitting and pitching coaches, you learned from your dad or you learned from watching games on TV. Every sport today is more competitive than it was 20-30 years ago from what I've seen.
As for individual awards celebrating best in this, that or the other thing, your experience is the same as mine. If anything, the "snowflakes" we create seem to be for individual accomplishments in a team setting than for just being on a team.

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I can sum the differences between today and the past when it come to youth sports. "College Scholarships." The dream of chasing the "Full Ride" at a $50K+ school is a huge driving factor for the parents and the kids.

I should have expanded on the "snowflake" a little more. I was not directing the comment specifically at sports. More in general with what I see in the Millennials today.

Okay. I started this unintentionally but I'll explain more. The term "snowflake" was brought up by Sparky guy. His definition of this syndrome is, "It's the snowflake syndrome. Everyone is unique. Everyone is special. Nobody should fail. Nobody should feel bad about themselves. If someone/something upsets you we should "fix" it so you're happy." IMO it is apt for the most part, of our youth today. A perfect example....Why else would colleges across the country have to create "safe places" for college students to mourn the loss of their political candidate? It's not like one of their parents suddenly died in a car accident...it's a political candidate for crying out loud! And those same snowflakes would much rather tear someone or something down, either real or metaphorically, in order to build themselves up as opposed to working harder and earning everything they have.

It has happened to my DD time and time again not only while growing up but throughout her sports life; most recently on her HS softball team. She was the only one that signed although 7 out of 9 starters her Junior year were TB players. The bullying became so bad that she decided not to play her Senior year of HS ball. This past year of TB, she was shunned because once again, she was the only one that was signed on the entire team. She has also chosen not to play her final year of eligibility of TB after her first year of college ball because she doesn't want to deal with it another year. My DD has been shunned, bullied, picked fights with, etc. etc. because she was the best hitter on the team and usually one of the best all around athletes and it took the spotlight away from the other players. I'm not bragging, it's fact. Every team she's been on (with the exception of one in the past 6 years) most of her teammates tried to tear her down to build themselves up. Many parents did the same through the years. "Well she's the coach's daughter, that's the only reason she starts on Sundays!" Really? your DD hit 19 OTF HR's this season and had a BA of .592? Your DD can play Catcher and has a sub 1.8 pop time even though your DD hasn't played the position since 10U? Your DD puts in 5 hours a week at home working on every aspect of her position as well as another 3-4 hours a week on her hitting plus doing hours of homework afterwards each night? Riiiigggghhhhtttt... However, through it all, my DD persevered and has now moved on to play in college. This is what having character, self esteem and being emotionally strong means and she's earned her way to play at the collegiate level through her dedication and strong work ethic. Meanwhile, those same players and parents throughout past years are still doing the same thing. Past players thought doing the average amount will get them automatically accepted when they went to walk-on tryouts in the fall because they're special. They found out they were wrong. Past parents are now tearing down others instead. These parents are telling their DD's that they're still special and that all of the college coaches that looked at them during camps, showcases and college tryouts don't know what they're doing and will never know what they passed up. I personally heard this out of several parents mouths when I ran into them at the store and we talked. I've also heard the exact same words out of their DD's mouths when I ran across them with a slight twist. From the players I'd hear something along the lines of, 'I tried out but then decided I didn't want to play because the coach didn't know what he/she was doing.'

To bring about another point that was introduced in this thread, yes parents have to be far more involved in their kid's lives today. Thanks to the huge leaps in technology we now have such as the internet, twitter, snapchat and every other form of instant communication and social media, it's extremely important that we be involved in every aspect of their lives. I would bet that there were the same number of child molesters posing as a 13 YO back when we were growing up but without them having instant access to a huge database of targets (Social Media), as well as us having instant access to nationwide news, we never heard about them unless it happened in our really tiny little city, town, neighborhood or wherever. Nowadays, that same pervert can, from Texas, pretend to be that 13YO from Massachusetts and after a 10 hour drive, meet your DD at your local mall and make her disappear never to be heard from again. So it's not any wonder that we are extremely overprotective of our kids. That said, There's a time and a place for that and there are times and places not to be. Trying to find out why your DD is doing poorly in a college class or trying to cajole the professor into giving your child a better grade even though they didn't earn it is not one of those times. Finding out she has been "talking to a friend from California online," when you live in Maine and they plan to meet at the local mall tomorrow at noon because his "Parents are visiting his grandparents and he's bored," should raise a huge red flag.

YOCOACH said:

Okay. I started this unintentionally but I'll speak some more of what I was thinking. The term "snowflake" was brought up by Sparky guy. His definition of this syndrome is, "It's the snowflake syndrome. Everyone is unique. Everyone is special. Nobody should fail. Nobody should feel bad about themselves. If someone/something upsets you we should "fix" it so you're happy." IMO it is apt for the most part, of our youth today. A perfect example....Why else would colleges across the country have to create "safe places" for college students to mourn the loss of their political candidate? Because they're fragile like snowflakes. Because they're so full of unjustified self-importance and since they voted for their candidate, their candidate most surely should have won. It's not like one of their parents suddenly died in a car accident...it's a political candidate for crying out loud! And those same snowflakes would much rather tear someone or something down, either real or metaphorically in order to build themselves up as opposed to working harder and earning everything they have.

It has happened to my DD time and time again throughout her life; most recently on her HS softball team. She was the only one that signed although 7 out of 9 starters her Junior year were TB players. The bullying became so bad that she decided not to play her Senior year of HS ball. This past year of TB, she was shunned because once again, she was the only one that was signed on the entire team. She has also chosen not to play her final year of eligibility of TB after her first year of college ball because she doesn't want to deal with it another year. My DD has been shunned, bullied, picked fights with, etc. etc. because she was the best hitter on the team and usually one of the best all around athletes. I'm not bragging, it's fact. Every team she's been on (with the exception of one in the past 6 years) most of her teammates tried to tear her down to build themselves up. Many parents did the same through the years. "Well she's the coach's daughter, that's the only reason she starts on Sundays!" Really? your DD hit 19 OTF HR's this season and had a BA of .592? Your DD can play Catcher and has a sub 1.8 pop time even though your DD hasn't played the position since 10U? Your DD puts in 5 hours a week at home working on every aspect of her position as well as another 3-4 hours a week on her hitting plus doing her hours of homework afterwards each night? Riiiigggghhhhtttt... However, through it all, my DD persevered and has now moved on to play in college. This is what having character, self esteem and being emotionally strong means and she's earned her way to play at the collegiate level through her dedication and strong work ethic.

To bring about another point, yes parents have to be far more involved in their kid's lives today. Thanks to the huge leaps in technology we now have such as the internet, twitter, snapchat and every other form of instant communication and social media, it's extremely important that we be involved in every aspect of their lives. I would bet that there were the same number of child molesters posing as a 13 YO back when we were growing up but without instant access to their targets, as well as us having instant access to nationwide news, we never heard about them unless it happened in our really tiny little city, town, neighborhood or wherever. Nowadays, that same pervert can, from Texas, pretend to be that 13YO from Massachusetts and after a 10 hour drive, meet your DD at your local mall and make her disappear never to be heard from again. So it's not any wonder that we are extremely overprotective of our kids. That said, There's a time and a place for that and there are times and places not to be. Trying to find out why your DD is doing poorly in a college class or trying to cajole the professor into giving your child a better grade even though they didn't earn it is not one of those times. Finding out she has been "talking to a friend from California online," when you live in Maine and they plan to meet at the local mall tomorrow at noon because his "Parents are visiting his grandparents and he's bored," should raise a huge red flag.

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Glad you could get all that off your chest. And glad you found a safe place to say it.

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Comocoach said:

Glad you could get all that off your chest. And glad you found a safe place to say it.

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My DD's trial and tribulations throughout her softball life are well documented on here for the past 6 years. All of the bullying, shunning, parents trying to tear her down, so forth and so on is as well. Everything I've just said is my personal opinion and as a whole, a gross generalization and everyone knows what they say about opinions...Opinions are like A-#oles. Everyone has one and they usually stink.