A few nights ago, 15 year old DD came and told me "it's just not fun anymore" while crying. Quite a bit came out about this being a game of failure and how hard that is, the anxiety of trying to be perfect, how much normal teenage stuff she misses out on because of softball (dances, getting together with friends, etc) the pressure to perform in front of college coaches, and trying to balance the sport with advanced classes and working a couple days a week gets overwhelming. The thought of stepping away from softball was obviously very painful too, she kept saying this is all I've ever known, I've been playing since I was little, this is my life. She also mentioned that she knows how much I love to watch her play, and she doesn't want to disappoint me by not playing. I told her I just love watching her do something she enjoys, I don't care what it is.
To be honest, she's not had a good experience with softball over the last couple years. 2 years ago she was on a team where the coach regularly told her she was not good enough. He was a jerk and I watched her loose her love for the game. I regret not pulling her off that team. The team she was on this past year she mostly enjoyed, but when the end of the season was coming up she made the decision to leave because she wanted to play against better competition. When she told her coach she would not be returning, he kicked her off the team and told her she wasn't needed at the last 3 tournaments. He then told her she didn't really have what it takes anyway (despite that she was one of his best players and he consistently praised her). It was a complete turn around, like his ego got hurt and he took her leaving personally or something. But a teen doesn't understand that and she was devestated. Over the last couple days it's come out quite a bit about how the words from these coaches have affected her.
Last year was her first year of high school ball and that was a miserable experience for her as well. She had a girl on the team bully her - regularly calling her names, spreading rumors about her, posting negative things on social media about DD, etc. She has no desire to play on that HS team again (understandably) and is considering transferring schools.
She wants to continue with lessons because she enjoys them, but as far as playing...she just wishes softball was fun again.
Looking for some words of wisdom. My heart aches for her.
To be honest, she's not had a good experience with softball over the last couple years. 2 years ago she was on a team where the coach regularly told her she was not good enough. He was a jerk and I watched her loose her love for the game. I regret not pulling her off that team. The team she was on this past year she mostly enjoyed, but when the end of the season was coming up she made the decision to leave because she wanted to play against better competition. When she told her coach she would not be returning, he kicked her off the team and told her she wasn't needed at the last 3 tournaments. He then told her she didn't really have what it takes anyway (despite that she was one of his best players and he consistently praised her). It was a complete turn around, like his ego got hurt and he took her leaving personally or something. But a teen doesn't understand that and she was devestated. Over the last couple days it's come out quite a bit about how the words from these coaches have affected her.
Last year was her first year of high school ball and that was a miserable experience for her as well. She had a girl on the team bully her - regularly calling her names, spreading rumors about her, posting negative things on social media about DD, etc. She has no desire to play on that HS team again (understandably) and is considering transferring schools.
She wants to continue with lessons because she enjoys them, but as far as playing...she just wishes softball was fun again.
Looking for some words of wisdom. My heart aches for her.