When softball's not fun anymore

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Jun 10, 2018
55
18
NY
I completely understand the mindset of what was said above in regards to bullying but that is not the answer. As a matter of fact most kids who are bullied are not capable of physical confrontation or that would have been handled immediately.

There was recently was an 8th grade girl near my area who committed suicide due to bullying. It is still a huge problem. There can never be an option to just ignore it because you think the coach/administration will do nothing or it will make the situation worse. You know what makes the situation worse, a kid who thinks the only way out is suicide. That's what can happen when nothing is done.

You report it and you make them listen and do something about it. Even with all the anti-bullying campaigns that have went on it boggles my mind that school administrators, teachers, coaches, and most importantly the parents would just brush it off or ignore it (and it certainly happens). Be happy that your daughter actually told you about and didn't hide it.

Sorry, this just bothers me. Bullies suck and should not be tolerated or excused in any way. Speak up and make someone listen.
Bullying is terrible. My son was bullied and the bully had more rights than the victim! It was awful. I had to go all the way with it, file the Dignity for All Students reporting paperwork and report to NY state, and finally it was dealt with. The whole "zero tolerance for bullying" campaign that is in many high schools is complete crap and means nothing.
 
Oct 10, 2018
305
63
Find a new team. DD was on a team for 3 years when, for no reason we could figure out, the coach took a disliking to her. Among a lot of things, she personally pointed out DD's every flaw, no matter how small, in the post game huddle (but not when her favorites did the same thing). DD went to a new team and the training is better (finally throwing mechanics addressed and no more sore right elbow). Wish she accepted an offer from this team years ago but adored the manager of the program where she was at and we are loyal. There was girl on that team that was tough with DD and DD (shy, non-confrontational) finally told her to shut up - the only way to handle bullies is to push back. Bullies are cowards and look for weak prey. Surprisingly, DD and that girl became pretty good friends after that.

If it doesn't feel right, it isn't right and it's time to move - you never know what else is out there until you look.
 
Nov 15, 2019
324
43
This is a way overdue reply. I read all the responses after I posted, but then got caught up in the busyness of the holidays and forgot to respond. But I just want to say thank you all so much for all your words of wisdom, they were really helpful. I appreciate it so much!

Things got worse before they got better but I'm happy to say that my kid found her love for the game again. I know there's a lot of negative stuff posted here about the experiences with high school ball, but she had the exact opposite.

DD transferred schools due to the bullying. The coach at the new school sought her out on the first day and invited her to the open gyms. She was hesitant but kind of reluctantly went because she knew no one at the school and wanted to meet people. She kept going back and pretty soon the season started. Everyday I picked her up from practice she had a huge smile on her face. I never had to ask her how practice went because as soon as she got in the car she started telling me all about it. One day she remarked "I can't wait for practice, and I can't remember how long it's been since I have been able to say something like that." She'd go to practice, come home and pull out her net and hit some more. The HS coach has created a strong team of hard working girls and an excellent team culture. She felt challenged by the practices (the coach worked them hard!) yet she also had fun.


All the adversity she'd faced over the last year or two, the bullying, team drama, a travel coach that told her she doesn't have what it takes, those that didn't believe in her.... She overcame it all and has found her motivation, drive, and love for the game again. A big thanks to her HS coach who created such a positive environment for her to learn and grow!
 
Nov 15, 2019
324
43
Just out of curiosity, did she say anything to the HS coach about the bullying?
She did, the response was you don't have to all be friends, you just have to play together. And then made a joke that some year down the road the two of them would probably be friends and laughing about it. Then she went to HS administration and they took it seriously.
 
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