Yes exactly!!! I was being flippant -- about playing every single inning.....she doesn't play every single inning now.....like you said...
Paying for DD to ride the bench....Not My Thing
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I had forgotten about how myopic and selfish 12U parents can be - LOL.
I agree 100% that a 12U player should be on a team where they are getting a significant amount of playing time. I also agree that 12U is an important development time, and spending a majority of time on the bench is (probably) not the best for development.
However...
A low-level team that plays against low-level competition, with coaches that aren't teaching the players how to play at a higher level, isn't a great situation, even if your DD gets to play her #1 position all the time. Development happens by being challenged.
A team that develops ALL of their players, and gives ALL of their players the opportunity and resources to get better, is going to be a team that progresses. Internal competition can be a very good thing. If there is a #2 trying to take the #1's spot, it's not only going to push the #2 to keep working on her game, but also push the #1 to keep getting better in order to keep her spot. A player with no challenge can get complacent and entitled. Also, a team with depth is in a better position to maintain their level of competition if something happens to the #1. That said, these things aren't important if you only give a damn about your DD.
I agree 100% that a 12U player should be on a team where they are getting a significant amount of playing time. I also agree that 12U is an important development time, and spending a majority of time on the bench is (probably) not the best for development.
However...
A low-level team that plays against low-level competition, with coaches that aren't teaching the players how to play at a higher level, isn't a great situation, even if your DD gets to play her #1 position all the time. Development happens by being challenged.
A team that develops ALL of their players, and gives ALL of their players the opportunity and resources to get better, is going to be a team that progresses. Internal competition can be a very good thing. If there is a #2 trying to take the #1's spot, it's not only going to push the #2 to keep working on her game, but also push the #1 to keep getting better in order to keep her spot. A player with no challenge can get complacent and entitled. Also, a team with depth is in a better position to maintain their level of competition if something happens to the #1. That said, these things aren't important if you only give a damn about your DD.
Respect goes both ways..... you can't take harsh words then Coaching aint for you. Heck I got talked too so bad by one of my parents when I coached travel basketball that the refs threw her out the gym...and barred her from returning....they taught she was a parent for the other team........I still coached her daughter and I still talk to the mother today..... that was back in 2006 or 2007 -- the young lady played for Houston Baptist University she was talented
Part of youth sports is dealing with parents......especially if you are a travel coach where parents are footing all the expenses. Now if you are a sponsored team that is a different story.
Sad part is when I said "I don't pay for riding the bench" everyone around me broke out laughing.....boy did he get mad.....
This sounds more like C
There's no reason for "harsh words" though. You come across as a real jerk, and I'm not saying you are, but if that's how you approach the situation I don't care if your daughter htis a 400 foot homer every time up. I don't want you around, so she can go play elsewhere.
"Respect goes both ways." Nobody said or did anything disrespectful to you, but you don't know how to handle a situation like an adult. This coach should've gotten mad at you. Hopefully he's telling all the other coaches in the area what a nightmare to deal with you are.
I don't see anything wrong with your (revised, more reasonable) position. You handled it like a petulant child.
Yea they are rec team that was playing our 1st tournament at the C level.......the coach was a B/A recruiting her to move to his team. We are a rec team that is in the process of stepping up to travel ball.
The way you typed it up made you sound like a bit of a jerk, that's all. Perhaps in your discussion with the coach you were more gentle and tactful.
In general, I agree. I've had a few parents on teams with my DD complain about playing time. I told them flat out that if they want more playing time the quickest route is to join another team. I too would not want my DD on a team where she plays less than 50%. In fact, I want that number more like 90%. Of course I don't track that number. She gets innings on the bench but almost every other girl does too. I'm fine with that. She's fine with that.
At 12U, I would not join a team where she's not playing at least half the innings. Fortunately we have tons of teams to pick from, and at this age roster sizes are small so no one is sitting much.
What is childish about telling someone "I don't pay for riding the bench". I don't understand why yall feel disrespected.
I am sorry but this is crazy to me........A coach ask my wallet and my daughter to play for them if I don't say NO the right way I could get my daughter black balled? talking being like a petulant child....
I don't see value in a 12U heavily riding the bench. I've seen teams and coaches come and go......four years from now me being a jerk by saying no will be forgotten IF my DD has talent....
Use the "flippant" font then, or chose words more carefully. Everyone here can read, but they can't read minds. Frankly, writing something like that and then coming back later with a "I really didn't mean it" appears trollish.
Further, much of the rest of your subsequent argument is a strawman. NOBODY here thinks or says that "heavily riding the bench" is a good thing at 12U or anywhere else. If you think that a reputation you gain at 12U can't follow you to 16/18U or HS, you're mistaken. I know some fairly good players whose parent's bad behavior fully played out their team options before the end of HS.
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If your DD is on a TB, she should play on that team. There is absolutely no point in putting your DD on a team to sit and watch the game. The rule of thumb is your DD should be on the field about 70% of the time.
There is a basic math problem. A TB has to have 12 or so players in order to function over the course of a season. Kids get hurt, kids quit, kids have unanticipated conflicts (e.g., death of a grandparent). A team can simply dissolve midway through the season if there are too few players.
If you have 12 kids on the team not everyone can start every game. So, your DD has to expect to do some bench sitting.
If you told me that your DD has to play every inning of every game, I would tell you to find another team. If you told me that your DD should get her "fair share of playing time", I would tell you, "Of course. She'll have to spend some time on the bench just like everyone else."
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