I think how you handle the player is the most important thing. Reminder her she was playing there because she's earned it. Tell her that everyone has a bad inning, game, day. Especially remind her that you and the team need her to play. I tell every kid in every sport the same thing... "Grab a breath, get some water, keep your head in the game, because we need you back out there."
As for the parents, I try to never throw ultimatums or consequential decisions at them during a game/tournament. Everyone gets a little dialed up during competition. Also set the expectation with the parents that it's not okay to come discuss coaching decisions in the dugout.
DD was pulled just this weekend for the last out of a game. The heat got to her physically, and she made a huge mental error that she normally doesn't make. It was a game losing decision. The coaches new she was struggling with the heat, and already had the other catcher geared up to come in, and she was replaced immediately after that mistake. She was upset with herself. She was embarrassed she made the mistake. Even though I denied it, and tried to soften the blow, she was upset that her decision led to the loss of the game. She was angry that the coach brought it up in the post-game talk. However, she was not humiliated for being pulled. She was not resentful or embarrassed for being pulled. I was not angry at the coach for pulling her.
I have no problem pulling a girl or boy from any position on the field. There are lessons that can be learned from being pulled. It's not the end of the world. What is important is to build kids up and not tear them down. I think it all depends on how you handle yourself, and how you handle the player in that situation. You also have to think about the message you're sending to the player that is waiting for their chance to play. They will start questioning themselves if you don't play them over a girl that is clearly off that day.
As for the parents, I try to never throw ultimatums or consequential decisions at them during a game/tournament. Everyone gets a little dialed up during competition. Also set the expectation with the parents that it's not okay to come discuss coaching decisions in the dugout.
DD was pulled just this weekend for the last out of a game. The heat got to her physically, and she made a huge mental error that she normally doesn't make. It was a game losing decision. The coaches new she was struggling with the heat, and already had the other catcher geared up to come in, and she was replaced immediately after that mistake. She was upset with herself. She was embarrassed she made the mistake. Even though I denied it, and tried to soften the blow, she was upset that her decision led to the loss of the game. She was angry that the coach brought it up in the post-game talk. However, she was not humiliated for being pulled. She was not resentful or embarrassed for being pulled. I was not angry at the coach for pulling her.
I have no problem pulling a girl or boy from any position on the field. There are lessons that can be learned from being pulled. It's not the end of the world. What is important is to build kids up and not tear them down. I think it all depends on how you handle yourself, and how you handle the player in that situation. You also have to think about the message you're sending to the player that is waiting for their chance to play. They will start questioning themselves if you don't play them over a girl that is clearly off that day.