I think girls that are fortunate enough to be on teams with coaches that value teaching over maintaining control of the game learn how to be pitchers and not just sign takers. I just don't think there are many coaches like this. My guess is that we have a few on this board that would actively encourage this. I can see Ken Krause giving a pitcher a green light to shake a pitch off, or maybe Riseball, but most TB coaches are pretty territorial on the pitch calling, and most girls are just not going to override that unless explicitly encouraged because they think it is disobeying a coach. I've tried for a long time to get DD to shake one off like Nano's DD did and she just will not do it.
In fact I can't even remember a coach TALKING about pitching strategy with my kid. This next season I am going to try to get DD to ask for permission to work directly with the catcher to call their own stuff for an inning here and there during friendlies.
DDs PC works strictly on form and mechanics. He talks to her about owning her game(s). I talk to her about setting up different batters. This year, she nodded off the catcher's call 10 or 15 times. The coaches gave her NO gruff for that.