The balance of when to push and when to back off.... a constant struggle in my mind. It gets so much harder, too. I'll go weeks without checking up on DD's grades; then I'll check and have to stop myself from freaking out over a bombed quiz (though I'll usually try to sneak it in... "so how's school? uh huh. uh huh. great... do you want a snack? Why did you bomb that quiz and what are you going to do about it and do you really want all of your dreams dashed and live in our basement for the rest of your life because that is what will happen if you keep bombing quizzes" at which point DD will glare at me and run upstairs and slam her door). You're right, though - sometimes we as parents just have to jump in there and tell our daughters not what they want to hear but what they need to hear. Finding a hitting coach who played in college and can give advice on playing at the next level would help - she will validate your points and give you credibility when you tell your DD about the hard work work ahead.
Parenting advice for a Softball Dad
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Your DD does not have to contact college coaches until next TB season. That gives her plenty of time to work hard and get her college list together. One of the best things about HS ball is they play 5 days a week and if they play TB probably on Sunday. She will get better. I agree with the other posters in getting her a good hitting and catching coach and practicing every night. Contact pitching coaches in your area and ask them if she can catch lessons. Next TB season, summer of 2013, she will be considered a junior and that is NOT TO LATE. Good luck to your DD.
Thanks everyone for your advice and recommendations. I found your feedback very helpful and really gave me the kick in the butt I needed, not only to do a realistic assessment of where DD is at, but also get motivated to help her help herself, so to speak.
Do I think DD is ASU or Oklahoma level? Maybe not. But there are a lot of colleges in this country. Do I think there is a college out there who would want her? If she wants it bad enough and is willing to work her butt off, then yes.
In speaking with her after I read some of your initial replies, I realized that a lot of her fears (and mine too), were based in part on the fact that everything this season happened so quickly. Summer ball ended, school started, fall tryouts (happening the same time as field hockey double sessions) had our heads spinning.
DD was intimidated by the skill of her new team mates, but I reminded her (and myself) that she got picked up because they wanted her and saw value. She was coming from a situation where she practiced maybe once or twice in between tourneys. The practice routine and regiment of this new team is far beyond anything she has done before. Of course these girls have their act together!
We do have a good hitting coach (hitting sells!) and it was a great suggestion to attend a Catcher specific camp. All the off season work she does is general hitting and defense. We talk a lot about technique, etc., but never get to exercise those skills in practice. She has never had position specific instruction.
Regarding College - it was a great reminder that you select a school for the education, not the softball team. Ask a 15/16 yo girl what she wants to be when she grows up and you get the Deer in the Headlights look. So instead of (or in addition to) searching by field of study, I asked DD to look at schools based on
Enrollment (number of students)
Geography (how spread out and how far from home she wants to be)
Setting (city or rural)
Then areas of study
I found the links at nfca.org to be a great starting point for a list of schools that field competitive softball teams. In looking at all the NCAA D1 - D3 schools there were probably over 100 that fit her initial criteria within 300 miles from home.
Thanks again for all the advice!
Do I think DD is ASU or Oklahoma level? Maybe not. But there are a lot of colleges in this country. Do I think there is a college out there who would want her? If she wants it bad enough and is willing to work her butt off, then yes.
In speaking with her after I read some of your initial replies, I realized that a lot of her fears (and mine too), were based in part on the fact that everything this season happened so quickly. Summer ball ended, school started, fall tryouts (happening the same time as field hockey double sessions) had our heads spinning.
DD was intimidated by the skill of her new team mates, but I reminded her (and myself) that she got picked up because they wanted her and saw value. She was coming from a situation where she practiced maybe once or twice in between tourneys. The practice routine and regiment of this new team is far beyond anything she has done before. Of course these girls have their act together!
We do have a good hitting coach (hitting sells!) and it was a great suggestion to attend a Catcher specific camp. All the off season work she does is general hitting and defense. We talk a lot about technique, etc., but never get to exercise those skills in practice. She has never had position specific instruction.
Regarding College - it was a great reminder that you select a school for the education, not the softball team. Ask a 15/16 yo girl what she wants to be when she grows up and you get the Deer in the Headlights look. So instead of (or in addition to) searching by field of study, I asked DD to look at schools based on
Enrollment (number of students)
Geography (how spread out and how far from home she wants to be)
Setting (city or rural)
Then areas of study
I found the links at nfca.org to be a great starting point for a list of schools that field competitive softball teams. In looking at all the NCAA D1 - D3 schools there were probably over 100 that fit her initial criteria within 300 miles from home.
Thanks again for all the advice!
- Oct 7, 2009
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My daughter is a Freshman, but she's very motivated has a definite idea of what she wants to do (of course that is likely to change). I came up with a list of about 25 schools that I thought she might like to attend. I am having her research each one and make a list of pros and cons for each school she looks into. The neat thing is that this is getting her excited about college and giving her an idea of what's important to her. She's got some years before she graduates, but she is creating a list of schools that interest her and she knows now, well in advance, what it will take to get into those schools. Right now she is loving SUNY Binghamton, but she might find something that she likes better, but at least she's thinking about it.
Greenmonsters
Wannabe Duck Boat Owner
Excellent advice. And if NH is too far, NECC is conducting clinics on 2 dates (1 each in Feb and Mar) at Fastpitch Nation (FPN) in CT. In late Jan FPN also is holding a 1-day individual showcase - over 40 D1-D3 college coaches from the NE have attended the last 3 years. PM me if you're interested a DD's dad perspective of these opportunities or going to college in the NE and playing SB.
LOL, Go look at it towards the end of February. Took DD No1 there and seeing how dreary the school was that time of the year caused her to scratch it from the list. Of course she is in an urban school (NYC) so I doubt any school in a smaller town was going to interest her.
- Oct 7, 2009
- 123
- 0
My daughter wants a small school in a smaller community. The idea of a big city scares her. I went to SUNY Brockport, so I have a pretty good idea what the winter in Binghamton is like, and I wouldn't want any part of it again, but I'm old (or so my kids tell me).
Plus it is much easier for your DD to meet and form an opinion of the personalities involved. There are alot of positives about small schools, both athletically and academically.
Coach-n-Dad
Crazy Daddy
- Oct 31, 2008
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- 0
There is a spot on a college softball roster for every girl that wants it. Some will play at the very top level, most will play somewhere in the middle and some will play at the very bottom level.
- Oct 1, 2012
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Very true! We all want our kids to be top level players and see them at the WCWS in OK City but that is rarely the case. My dd is at a local JC that gives no scholarships and has already lost 2 key players for next year and will barely have enough kids to field a team BUT out of the blue she had a coach from a very solid NAIA program email her asking if she had yet to commit to a school. We are taking a visit there this January and have been in contact with the coach on a regular basis. We nearly decided she would transfer at semester so she could play for them this spring but she did not want to abandon her remaining teammates at the JC. She asked me if I thought she was good enough to play there and of course I said yes....but to find out we searched and found the recruiting video for two of the pitchers on their roster...she'll be competing for the starting job right away. It's been a long and winding road for us but she'll soon be playing ball and having fun and the next adventure will begin for her at the new school. Before you know it....it will all be over and only the memories will remain. Keep working towards her dream of playing college ball and she'll find it or it will find her. Work hard...play hard...have fun!!
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