Life, Sports and Failure

[sluggers]

One of the most important parts of sports is failure and how to deal with failure.

The great thing about sports is that the child is engaged in something that is more or less trivial. The child can experience failure and other "life lessons" with little risk of any long term harm. She can then learn how to deal with all kinds of problems without having to suffer enormous consequences from poor decisions.

In other words, sports is a way to learn how to handle problems by "practicing" handling less important problems. A child will have experience and knowledge when confronted at a later time with "real, significant" problems that we all face.

Yet, some parents go to extreme length to prevent their child from failing. And, once a child fails, rather than explaining to the child, "You failed. Here are your options for dealing with it...", they start blaming other people.

If you tell a child, "You lost because you were cheated by the umpire/team/coach/teammates," then you are telling the child, "You were powerless. You are a victim. You have no control. The world is against you."

IMHO, the message should be, "You failed. Life goes on. Here is how you handle failure...either (1) get better at this or (2) find something else where you can be successful."

 

[Momo'sDad]

I love the coaches who tell their kids that sometimes it's just not their day, even when a couple of critical calls don't go their team's way.

As you pointed up, what we absolutely need, however, is for the parents to back that philosophy up during the car rides home. I wish everyone got that.

Excellent post, Sluggers. This should be required reading for ALL sports parents everywhere.

 

[riseball]

Great post. Sometimes you fail and maybe you were cheated and it may not be fair. Better learn to deal with it because life is not always fair.

 

[Softball scholar]

You always hear people say the proverbial, "In sports, you learn a lot life lessons" : Sluggers just expanded on this, put into context and provided some great examples. His mini essay makes a lot of sense. Failure sometimes is the greatest teacher.

 

[NorthMS]

We should want our kids to fail, and like Sluggers said, sports is a good place to get that experience.

For the kids who have parents who treat their children like victims, how will they handle adversity as adults? Is little Sally's Mom coming to the office to chew the manager out because she thought Sally should have got the promotion? Get real.

Some failures are out of our control. We need to learn how to push past that and move on. Some are simply in our control, and we just didn't perform well enough for the results we want.

Good post

 

[PA SB Dad]

I am living proof that life goes on, even after failure after epic failure.

 

[InsidePitch]

When my DD stops playing ball will I turn into a social philosophizer like Sluggers? JK, Sluggers, I enjoy your posts and I hope to have gained as much insight by the time DD is done.

 

[Bchbum54]

At bat 3rd strike situation I always tell DD to protect the plate, dont let the blue decide for you. And when she strikes out looking she looks at me thinking I'm going to tell her it was a bad call like most other parents tell their kids and I tell her it was obviously close enough and you let the blue make that decision. Man does she get mad

 

[Doug Romrell]

Yet, some parents go to extreme length to prevent their child from failing. And, once a child fails, rather than explaining to the child, "You failed. Here are your options for dealing with it...", they start blaming other people.

Much more like to be the case with today's parents than 50+ years ago.

 

[sru]

Great post, Sluggers.

Failure breeds character and we all know the world needs more adults with character. Youth sports is simply practicing for adulthood, set a goal, focus on obtaining it. If you fail, re-coop and try again. Sounds simple to some.