I just don't know why she just won't quit

[BobInMadison]

Yes. The team quit on your DD, not the other way around. That is how you need to frame it when you break the news to her.

Good luck. You will need it. In the long run, you did what you thought needed to be done.

 

[Crystol Owens Brown]

Yes. The team quit on your DD, not the other way around. That is how you need to frame it when you break the news to her.

Good luck. You will need it. In the long run, you did what you thought needed to be done.

Thank you...It was starting to feel like watching an abusive relationship...yeah, both people are great apart but when they get together...a whole other side comes out.

 

[G3N1U5]

It is our responsibility as parents to guide our children. To me this means sitting down and having completely open back-and-forth conversations with them about all/any important decisions that affect them. This helps them understand the decision making process and gives them ownership in the final decision. This also helps you get more information on how your DD sees it. More often then not they will give you information that you never would have considered. However, we as parents have the final say. If you are letting your DD make all her own decisions at 14/16 yo, I wish you the best of luck.
Also, many TB coaches and beyond just want you to sit their and shut up while they take control of your daughter. As a coach you have a responsibility to perform as well. If you have established credibility and a proven history then I will absolutely sit their and let you do what you do best, but just because you are coaching a TB team doesn't mean that I automatically trust your decisions or abilities. Too many TB coaches try to ride the coat tails of the coaches before them that have proven success.

You may have made the right decision in this circumstance for your DD, but the execution seems to be missing a bit of finesse.

 

[Jasmine_House2021]

The biggest thing that is getting overlooked is why someones daughter wants to play softball. As a result of playing softball, my daughter gets good grades(bad grades=no play), she is shy it has forced her to come out of her shell and feel like she is a part of something, it makes her think about her future and plan for college. Softball is something positive in her life. When she starts using words like EARNING TIME, PROOFING themselves, Showing they can get better..well, it translate to me as self doubt...if she doubting herself and her ability, then how can anyone else be confident in her.... No one else that plays the entire game and tournament on the team had to EARN TIME, PROOF THEMSELVES, SHOW IMPROVEMENT in order to play, they just played...no matter if they had a great game or had tons of errors. Why would it be any different for her? I would fully understand if she is pulled from a game because of making errors but to not be given the chance and sit the bench majority of the time. I watch a guest pitcher walk batters/hit batters that did not get moved from the mound until the final inning of a game. Even then, she was moved to third and the team star pitcher finished the inning. After the time was up, my daughter was completely devastated watching this happen.

That's because the coach has as already stated quite on your daughter, hence how easy it was for you to call him and him not ask if you'd like to think about it or offer something so you don't leave. I would still suggest finding another TB team if your daughter wants to play TB. My daughter had to show all of the above things mentioned above to get her the little playing time she did last year, she had zero self doubt, and I learned to feed into it to so she pushed herself harder, those traits she established have translated to the classroom, and other areas.

At 10u I remember the one of the first bracket play games me being shocked as my daughter was bottom 9 played very little, it took everything in me not to grab her and say F this we are out of here, but I thought what would she learn from that. After the season we tried out for another TB team and turned them down to come back, last yr dd worked HARD, still sat out, after season we went to a top team in the area she was the only player picked up bats lead off and splits time in the circle. Try another team before giving up on the TB seen, encourage her to work hard and help her with it.

 

[CoachKevin]

Don't get me wrong, I agree with the end decision, your DD needed to leave the team. You said your writing the checks, and that is true, it will also be true when she goes to college... and if she wants to play in college and is in this situation are you going to call the college coach and tell him/her that your DD is quitting? Of course not, she will have to speak with the coach all on her own.

This goes deeper than just playing a stupid game. Life lessons that she could have taken into college and on the job. It's a small stepping stone that was jumped over.

Curious, did your DD ever speak to the coach about playing time?

 

[Crystol Owens Brown]

Don't get me wrong, I agree with the end decision, your DD needed to leave the team. You said your writing the checks, and that is true, it will also be true when she goes to college... and if she wants to play in college and is in this situation are you going to call the college coach and tell him/her that your DD is quitting? Of course not, she will have to speak with the coach all on her own.

This goes deeper than just playing a stupid game. Life lessons that she could have taken into college and on the job. It's a small stepping stone that was jumped over.

Curious, did your DD ever speak to the coach about playing time?

My daughter didn't want to disrespect the coaches decision..she just asked what can she do to get better. In her mind, she didn't play because she wasn't good enough to play and wanted to work toward "earning playing time"...her words not mine. Maybe it wasn't the most thought out and planned action...and yes, as a parent you try to have the best intention for them and may not do everything in the best manner. Being new to the travel ball world, it is a learning experience for both my daughter and I. Rec ball is starting up and my daughter is getting positive feedback from the coach. Being a shy person, this is her chance to step up, work on leadership skills, set an example for the younger girls and gain mound time...something she needs to get better. Hopefully in the future, both her and I can look back on this as a learning experience.

 

[Little Angels Softball]

And finally bringing in guests to pitch ahead of full-time players on your team is the height of sleaze.

^^^^^^ Truer words have never been spoken. ^^^^^^

That coach needs his butt kicked.

 

[rdbass]

^^^^^^ Truer words have never been spoken. ^^^^^^

That coach needs his butt kicked.

 

[Little Angels Softball]

Straight up.

I have no use for this type of person and they have no business being around the game.

 

[softball11]

Maybe the coach judges your daughter as being weak because she's shy and not an arrogant loudmouth. We tried out for one team last year that basically had their whole team picked before tryouts without telling the 45 kids who showed up that fact. Most of the kids they had given the spots in advance were the arrogant loudmouth type. My quiet type didn't stand a chance and we wasted 3 hours on a forgone conclusion to stroke the arrogant coaches ego. I called this coach arrogant because he already has it figured out who he will cut to and add to next years team and wasted the time of 45 girls to stroke his ego that day. The team is made up of his dd and her inner circle. A few weeks after the tryout, all the new players quit because his dd thinks she runs the team. My dd was better off not being taken by such a team. I didn't see my dd competing at pitcher against 3 coaches daughters. The team we are on now needed her so she gets to pitch most games.