I just don't know why she just won't quit

[CoachKevin]

Wow, at the HS age I would have left it up to the player to make that decision.... not Mommy

You said yourself she didn't want to quit the team and wanted a chance to earn her position... well you squashed that didn't you.

You are not the one playing, she is

 

[Crystal Brown]

Wow, at the HS age I would have left it up to the player to make that decision.... not Mommy

You said yourself she didn't want to quit the team and wanted a chance to earn her position... well you squashed that didn't you.

You are not the one playing, she is

You are right that I am not the one playing, but I did pay for her to sit the bench while guest players played the entire tournament. Last tournament she didn't play at all, which was the second tournament she didn't even play an inning. How can she earn time when she cannot play?

 

[BobInMadison]

Well, I have to agree with OILF here, at least in part.

Not sure how much of a jerk the coach was being, but it was clear he didn't want the girl on his team, and wasn't going to play her. She was, in effect, already off the team, but still practicing with the team, paying the club fees, and travelling with the team for the honor of sitting on the bench and watching everyone else but her play.

On one hand it would've been better to consult with the girl first, OTOH, the parent has the right to say she's not going to waste any of her time and money on a dead end.

 

[obbay]

She wasn't done fighting so you may have inadvertently created a chasm between you and your DD. your best chance of coming out of this whole is to make sure she understands your respect for her fight and effort, and take the approach that the team was not helping her to move forward. sometimes you just have to stop the bleeding and re-start. That was a bad situation that was beating her down mentally, whether she admits it or not. I have seen over and over again what a difference it can make in a player whether or not the coach believes in them. I believe a player will perform up or down to what is expected of them

Now that the die is cast, get busy and find her a team!

Good luck!

 

[rdbass]

I hope your DD understands and you help her to understand you did what you thought was right for her in this situation. I know it was a tough decision that parents have to make dispite what our childs wishes. I feel for both of you.
Like obbay said:

Now that the die is cast, get busy and find her a team!

 

[Sweet Lou]

Wow, at the HS age I would have left it up to the player to make that decision.... not Mommy

You said yourself she didn't want to quit the team and wanted a chance to earn her position... well you squashed that didn't you.

You are not the one playing, she is

But she is the one writing the checks. It gets old paying to watch your DD sit the bench and pay for GUEST PLAYERS to get playing time.

 

[Eric F]

I agree with the decision to find another team for your DD, but not including her in that decision...??? My DD is 10, and her opinion on these kinds of decisions carries a LOT of weight.

 

[cuzmail]

I did pay.......

I always wonder why this is never taken into consideration. Coaches always say the player needs to do the talking. I sometimes wonder exactly what motivates that thought process. I also can't help but wonder if it simply is easier to walk over a minor instead of an adult.

IMO, Travel ball is no different than any other business. You are the customer. You are paying for a service. When you take everything into consideration and you can't find the return on investment, then it is likely time to move on to another vendor. Every family has a different thing or combination of things they value as being worth the price paid and everyone needs to be realistic in what a reasonable return should be.

 

[cuzmail]

The parent is allowed to be there but I would prefer to discuss with the player first. Then the parent can also have separate conversation or joint conversation. JMO

My DD needs to talk to her coach first, if she needs us we will follow it up.

I can respect your method. However, it's not like that everywhere. Some coaches don't even want to talk with a parent at all unless it's about money. Then of course they have the time to talk with the parent.

 

[Crystol Owens Brown]

The biggest thing that is getting overlooked is why someones daughter wants to play softball. As a result of playing softball, my daughter gets good grades(bad grades=no play), she is shy it has forced her to come out of her shell and feel like she is a part of something, it makes her think about her future and plan for college. Softball is something positive in her life. When she starts using words like EARNING TIME, PROOFING themselves, Showing they can get better..well, it translate to me as self doubt...if she doubting herself and her ability, then how can anyone else be confident in her.... No one else that plays the entire game and tournament on the team had to EARN TIME, PROOF THEMSELVES, SHOW IMPROVEMENT in order to play, they just played...no matter if they had a great game or had tons of errors. Why would it be any different for her? I would fully understand if she is pulled from a game because of making errors but to not be given the chance and sit the bench majority of the time. I watch a guest pitcher walk batters/hit batters that did not get moved from the mound until the final inning of a game. Even then, she was moved to third and the team star pitcher finished the inning. After the time was up, my daughter was completely devastated watching this happen.