Isn't that better than playing left out and chasing foul balls?
Contemplating not playing HS next year
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Isn't that better than playing left out and chasing foul balls?
Cannonball
Ex "Expert"
- Feb 25, 2009
- 4,882
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A part of the point I so poorly tried/am trying to make and with regards to lessons we are teaching is that the OP post is all about "me" and not about "team." Every team has girls that chase foul balls and those that are on the bench. If done properly that becomes a strength. IMO, I see a lot of potential for drama when a child has 10 ABs in 12 games and yet it is deemed that she never hits and the coach doesn't let pitchers hit. I see potential drama when the OP says that her child is better than the ones playing. Thus my recommendation to go be happy.
One reason that high school softball is denigrated on this board is the inability of players and parents to adapt to an environment that requires more 'team' and less 'me.' You're on the front lines coaching it, so I'm sure you see it better than I do. People give lip service to doing what's best for the team, but when they are faced with true sacrifice, many don't get it and can't handle it. They have no real experience in real sacrifice. Coach must try to sell them on it and hope they buy in.
Travel ball exacerbates the problem because travel ball provides a choice of teams. Families (including mine) basically look for travel teams that require the least sacrifice. "If I go to this team, I can play the position I want, I get can the innings in the circle that I want, I can have these teammates I want, I can have this schedule, I can have this coach who has this opinion of my abilities.'' Good fit means ''I don't have to make many sacrifices on this team. I get most of what I want.''
You can't easily pick your high school team, so HS ball becomes a real gut check when you and the coach have a disagreement about what's best for the team and your role in it. How do you handle it? That's when coaches find out whether kids have bought into all the 'team' stuff they were selling.
And, I think that coaches can get kids to buy into it, but some parents will undermine it on the ride home.
In the best of situations, there won't be enough positions for everyone to play where they want. There are certainly kids and parents that won't ever be happy in that environment, but the sane ones will at least recognize that a better player earned your prized position this year, but you can contribute in an alternate role. If the best players take top spots, there is always hope that you can still be one of them.
Thing is, it becomes immediately obvious when, rather than merit, the positions are being given based on any of the 31 flavors off BS that can go on in these programs, and now you're asking them to take an alternate role with no reason to believe old fashioned skill and hard work are going to have any more relevance than they do now.
As parents we tell them that regardless of payoff, they need to focus on doing the right things in the right way and be proud of that, but it's a lot to swallow when their reward for putting up with the BS is......more BS.
I fully agree with finishing the commitment you have made, but no way would I ask my own kid to come back for another helping next year.
Thing is, it becomes immediately obvious when, rather than merit, the positions are being given based on any of the 31 flavors off BS that can go on in these programs, and now you're asking them to take an alternate role with no reason to believe old fashioned skill and hard work are going to have any more relevance than they do now.
As parents we tell them that regardless of payoff, they need to focus on doing the right things in the right way and be proud of that, but it's a lot to swallow when their reward for putting up with the BS is......more BS.
I fully agree with finishing the commitment you have made, but no way would I ask my own kid to come back for another helping next year.
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I've been away from DFP for a few days, mostly because I was busy but I honestly thought that this thread would be long dead by now. Some of the comments to my OP are interesting and others I just have to shake my head at. Did some of you even read the first post?
To clear up some misconceptions, in my OP I stated "she brought up the possibility of not playing HS next year." Next year.... Meaning she was going to finish this year and not "quit" like many have stated. She doesn't quit, that isn't her. She isn't pissed off, she isn't mad at the coach, she isn't upset at other players, etc. She just feels that she deserves more playing time, especially batting. Now you can attack her if you want for saying the word "deserves", but as my OP stated her batting average was better than others through that part of the season. She plays travel ball (others don't), she sees a batting coach weekly (others don't) and she is just a better batter than some of those that are getting regular and more reps than she is. She is disappointed with that part. I don't blame her. I can't tell her how she should feel about not batting. When we play travel ball most of the pitchers bat for themselves, yet in HS it is more common place? Doesn't make sense to us. To us a good bat belongs in a lineup regardless of what defensive position you play.
The OP was a general question if she wants to play high school NEXT YEAR. There are pro's and cons with both scenarios but at no time was she considering quitting in the middle of the season. There is no need for a talk with the coach about leaving. If she decides not to play HS next year she will simply not attend try-outs. If the coach wants to know why she isn't there then he will ask her. Otherwise he will see that she doesn't want to play HS anymore and that will be that. No hard feelings from us towards him personally. There is a lot of time between then and now.
To clear up some misconceptions, in my OP I stated "she brought up the possibility of not playing HS next year." Next year.... Meaning she was going to finish this year and not "quit" like many have stated. She doesn't quit, that isn't her. She isn't pissed off, she isn't mad at the coach, she isn't upset at other players, etc. She just feels that she deserves more playing time, especially batting. Now you can attack her if you want for saying the word "deserves", but as my OP stated her batting average was better than others through that part of the season. She plays travel ball (others don't), she sees a batting coach weekly (others don't) and she is just a better batter than some of those that are getting regular and more reps than she is. She is disappointed with that part. I don't blame her. I can't tell her how she should feel about not batting. When we play travel ball most of the pitchers bat for themselves, yet in HS it is more common place? Doesn't make sense to us. To us a good bat belongs in a lineup regardless of what defensive position you play.
The OP was a general question if she wants to play high school NEXT YEAR. There are pro's and cons with both scenarios but at no time was she considering quitting in the middle of the season. There is no need for a talk with the coach about leaving. If she decides not to play HS next year she will simply not attend try-outs. If the coach wants to know why she isn't there then he will ask her. Otherwise he will see that she doesn't want to play HS anymore and that will be that. No hard feelings from us towards him personally. There is a lot of time between then and now.
- Nov 29, 2009
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Spoken like you have experience "guilting" kids into playing.
And just how is fulfilling the current commitment to the team for the season and not returning the next season a bad life lesson??? In the OP the player has commented to her dad she does not like her current situation on the team and feels she may not want to repeat the same thing next season. There is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to be part of the "team" next year. As riseball stated. The commitment is for one season at a time. That's all.
The coach does not own her for the remaining years of her HS experience. Once again, your myopic and narrow-minded view of the softball world is showing.
Allow me to point out two things from the original post. First of all, it is stated that DD "brought up the possibility of not playing". DD also mentions that "she loves playing for the HS". Based on those comments, I do not think this young player has made any final decisions concerning the following season. I agree with others that have stated that since the commitment has been made for this season, and that nothing seems imminent at the moment, there is no reason to quite RIGHT NOW, and really no reason to discuss the "possibility of not playing" with the coach. Finish the season, think about it for a while, and then make a decision. Maybe she will decide that not batting is a deal breaker and she will not return. Maybe she will decide that hitting at TB is enough and she could continue pitching at HS. Maybe something else will change between now and tryouts. As a sophomore, I am guessing this young player is 15 or 16 years old. This is a very turbulent time in her life and her mind may change a dozen times before she needs to make a final decision.
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