Contemplating not playing HS next year

[chinamigarden]

I agree mostly with the timing of leaving the team if the player is able to tolerate the team environment till the end of the season, stick it out and finish. The mid-summer phone call is not something I would recommend. Once the player returns to school the coach now has all fall and winter to "convince" the player she should tryout again. It could be a contentious issue for the player during the school year if they've made up their mind. Especially if/when the other players on the team find out.

Why lie to the coach? Come the next season when the coach asks why the player is not trying out they need to be told exactly why. If the coaches philosophies are running players away from the team they need to know that. Especially if tryout numbers are falling at the school.

If a player feels they are better than another girl on the field and think they did not get a legitimate shot to prove it they are entitled to that opinion. If they don't feel that way they should be playing rec ball.

The hard part comes when the other players ask why. That's when the player needs to have the short answer ready and stick to it.

There is no lie in what I said. That is a 100% true and repeatable story for just about every situation. And if part of those activities include running track then it wasn't specified but it is encompassed by what was said.

I don't see it as a parent and certainly not a student's job to try to educate a coach on why people are leaving his/her team. Especially after she has decided to quit. No matter what you say, it will be repeated as she was disgruntled because I played better players ahead of her.

I just can't see the good in telling the coach, after you have made up your mind to leave, that you think you are a better player then Suzy but Suzy got more playing time, especially if you need to have a prepared short answer for when Suzy asks you why you aren't playing.

 

[Cannonball]

As you all know, I coached HS baseball for a very long time and HS softball briefly. In either case, I didn't care if someone was coming out or not. I want players that want to be there and for the reasons I outline in my presentation to parents/players. At our school, we have to cut players and so, we always have someone who can step in at the V level and contribute. It just so happens that HS baseball/softball is very important where I live and so, rarely would someone with talent not come out. We have a "college recruit" presently walking the halls and not playing. That was her choice and she is not missed. When my dd was a freshman in HS, she pitched V. There was a senior who thought she was all that and decided she would play TB and not HS. She too had signed her NLI. She didn't make it one season in college. Again to the OP, if you aren't happy remove your dd. You'll save yourself the stress and the team will go about on its own without your dd. Apparently, you and dd are happy with TB.

 

[Rocketech1]

Again to the OP, if you aren't happy remove your dd. You'll save yourself the stress and the team will go about on its own without your dd. Apparently, you and dd are happy with TB.

I hope no one is suggesting that she remove herself from HS softball mid-season over essentially playing time? IMO, that sends the wrong message to the kid.

 

[Country Boy]

Make the best of the situation. This is a tremendous opportunity for your DD to focus on her Pitching. So make sure she is focused on making a skill better rather than focused on what she isn't getting to do.

Then when the season is over, inform the coach. Not informing the coach or misleading them about next year is not the type of behavior I wish to teach my DD. If she can't develop the fortitude to be honest with a coach, I have failed as a parent even if she is the 'Next Jennie Finch'. Yes, there may be issues with peers. Oh well. That's a part of learning to be an adult. There are many things more important than Softball.

 

[RetiredCoach]

My DD on her sophomore softball team last year who played TB and was a very good player. However, her aspiration was to be placed on JV. Her entire family seemed to take this as a personal insult and she did not tryout for the school team this year. I didn't really learn how hard they took this "insult" until after the season was over. The parents and the girl did not deride the team, inject any hard feelings or bad attitude to the parents or players or coaches, and this girl played hard for her team to win every game. Knowing what I know now, I consider this girl and her family class acts. If you have to quit school ball, this would be the classy way to do it.

 

[Cannonball]

I hope no one is suggesting that she remove herself from HS softball mid-season over essentially playing time? IMO, that sends the wrong message to the kid.

Aren't there other "wrong messages" being sent here?

Deleted by me.

 

[Rocketech1]

Aren't there other "wrong messages" being sent here? A player complaining about playing time and so not representative of what might be considered a good teammate. A parent disgruntled and so, I'm sure that the conversations at home are negative. Those conversations being held and not said face to face to the coach. I could go on and on. Hey, it was just my recommendation. My opinion and roughly $7 will get you an extra value meal at Micky D's.

So quitting is the only option? I have seen too many kids who quit for all the wrong reasons. Heck, we had a local 12U TB team completely disband last month after two pitchers got benched for violating team rules (missing unexcused practices) and quit the team. Since the team had no pitching, the other players quickly followed suit and were scrambling to find alternate teams to play out the rest of the season.

If she played in a hostile environment than by all means get her out of it ASAP but no player should quit mid-season because they didn't get all the playing time they wanted or didn't get to play her favorite position.

My DD is a pitcher and because of that she doesn't bat as much as she would like nor does she play her secondary position much (CF) but having her fresh to pitch each game is a priority to the coaches. No way I would let her quit mid-season (even if she wanted to) over playing time. At the end of the season she can evaluate other TB teams where she may be able to bat more often and work on her secondary position.

 

[DOG310]

Before I comment, please don't think that I'm trying to portray myself as some kind of wise saint. I am definitely not. I've ranted and cussed about this situation hours on end to DW, who thankfully has a better grasp of reality than this buckethead dad.

I believe I can relate to the OP, at least in part, realizing that no two situations are the same. My DD is a freshman pitcher who is getting 90% of the team circle time on varsity. She absolutely loves that, but the downside is that she is not allowed to bat even though quite capable. (past summer batted over .400 playing top 16U from California, Colorado, Texas, Georgia, and parts in between)

She doesn't like the situation, and continues to ask (in a polite way and away from the other players) for a chance to hit for herself. So far, the answer from the coach is "maybe later". She continues to work on her hitting on her own and with her hitting coach.

We've chosen to shut up and stay in our lane (OK, reality is I'm thankful DW has decided).

However, we have strongly encouraged her to use the pitching time wisely. She has grown tremendously with the responsibility of being the #1 pitcher on a competitive team in an extremely tough district. She hasn't won every game. But she has learned not only more about the physical act of pitching but, about the importance of leadership in the circle, and most importantly, about herself.

Bottom line, try to get something positive out of what could be a negative situation. Good luck!

I'm not thrilled about the prospect of another year of HS, but I'll not get a vote on that either!

That said, I can't wait to hit the road this summer. Already have the hotels and flights reserved.

 

[Cannonball]

RT1, you are looking at it from the perspective of her being a quitter and I'm looking at it from the perspective of a coach. This young lady has had 10 ABs in 12 games. She is pitching V as a sophomore. She is not happy and is thinking about not coming back. I am sure that there are other girls in the program that could use those ABs to develop further and the time in the circle. They will be back. So, why give this young lady those opportunities when she can't be counted on? I want that playing time for someone I can count on in the future. Besides as so many have pointed out, there is no value in your opinions in HS. Let her go enjoy TB. To be sure, I am so thankful to live where I do and where I think HS has great value.

 

[JJS]

In a hurry but this caught my eye: Not hitting (or not fielding) is not like 'playing time'. How many kids want to be the FLEX player (and never hit), not many. It can be a deal breaker, and as a player, it would be for me. *That means I am capable of being in the line up by performance and work ethic.

As a coach, does not matter to me when you quit. If we talked it out, I will honor it. Had kids quit at all times, and the ones I remember most are the ones who did it correctly at the time they thought was most honest and necessary. I then went and watched their tennis matches or volleyball games and supported them 100% in not playing softball.

There is no need to talk about other players when you quit. Not sure how Suzy is relevant...you just talk about what you want to do and why.

Yes, playing next year should not be a concern right now, but if the issue is present now and needs to be addressed, have the player address it. The drama to me is coming from the adults in this, I swear...

This may be the first post of yours I agree with. Since I'm tough on the posts I disagree on, I will give you props on this one. Nice post. Pretty level headed advice.