Confront a coach or not to confront?

[Cannonball]

As I've posted many times, in my parent's meeting, I set up the parameters for a meeting with parents. The AD will be there as well as the player. In that way, I've established a means of communication with the parents, made sure that the player knows exactly what is being said about her by me and her parents, and have the AD witness the proceedings. Parents will also be told that I won't talk about another player.

I don't buy the argument that your dd can't talk to the coach. They can if you allow them to grow as a person and do it. I know it will be very hard for some but not impossible. JMHO!

 

[riseball]

Cannonball - Your policy is reasonable and what should be expected of any coach.

 

[riseball]

Obviously you don't know the crazy entitled parents I know. Right or wrong I believe a coach of HS & above has every right to tell the parent I refuse to talk to you about playing time have your daughter talk to me.

Just to be clear, your position is that the coach has the right to refuse the redress of grievances and the parents right to make a complaint. Is that your position?

 

[CoogansBluff]

Obviously you don't know the crazy entitled parents I know.

You might be right. I've not coached a school team where lots of people may sit the bench. In travel, with small rosters, it's perhaps easier.

Also, I didn't say that a parent is entitled to have the same conversation over and over with a coach, or that a coach can't end a conversation quickly. Just saying that I feel that a parent has a right to broach any subject with a school official who is in direct supervision of their child. At least once.

 

[fastpitch]

Just to be clear, your position is that the coach has the right to refuse the redress of grievances and the parents right to make a complaint. Is that your position?

I'm saying if the coach doesn't want to talk about playing time with a parent then they don't have to. Complaining & grievances about playing time is not something they need to listen to also. Most don't get paid enough if at all to deal with the playing time nonsense most parents bring up.

Most coaches will listen and be polite and discuss it, but they have every right to not even touch that topic and be upfront about it. The conversation can go like this and IMO they have every right, "There will be no discussion with parents about playing time, players can talk to me about that." If the player is in physical danger or similar then of course parents can speak with the coach but issues about playing time is not a subject that parents need to be involved in. They aren't the ones on the team, the player is. HS or college softball is a privilege, not a right.

 

[riseball]

We are talking about HS coaches in the public sector. Correct?

 

[fastpitch]

You might be right. I've not coached a school team where lots of people may sit the bench. In travel, with small rosters, it's perhaps easier.

Also, I didn't say that a parent is entitled to have the same conversation over and over with a coach, or that a coach can't end a conversation quickly. Just saying that I feel that a parent has a right to broach any subject with a school official who is in direct supervision of their child. At least once.

I'm not a HS coach. I'm a parent and coached travel ball at the younger ages where you have to deal with parents. Parents have the right to definitely ask about anything they want. I'm saying HS coaches don't have to talk about it when it comes to playing time. I don't even think they have to give any reasons to parents, its just opens the door for some parents to debate it. I do believe they need to be upfront and honest as possible with the player about playing time and good coaches will.

 

[fastpitch]

We are talking about HS coaches in the public sector. Correct?

For this discussion sure. Parents can ask about playing time all they want, sure its their right. Right or wrong they can complain to the AD if they feel their kids are being unjustly treated all they want. But I believe coaches have the right to decline any discussions with parents when it comes to playing time. If its not about the players safety or similar, then the coach has every right to not have to discuss playing time with parents.

 

[Cannonball]

You have to keep in mind that after a parent (Player 2) talks to a coach, a whole other can of worms gets opened. After the parent complains, they almost always are going to mention that meeting with the other parents. For argument sake, lets leave it at the parent saying that they gave the coach a piece of their mind. Down the road a week and player 1 who was starting over player 2 starts to struggle some. Coach might consider playing Player 2 now. However, coach now has to think about other things. If he/she plays Player 2, then everyone in the stands will think that the reason Player 2 is now playing is that the parents went in to talk to the coach. Certainly, Player 1's parents are going to be upset and believe that the change is due to Player 2's parents meeting with coach. Now, how many more disgruntled parents are going to speak out? What will those topics be? For example, parents thinking that their child should be hitting 3rd and playing SS. Parents who think that the error given during an At bat last week was really a hit. Some coaches are going to say, "you know what, I'm better just keeping Player 1 in there and letting them come out of their slump." In fact, next year when tryouts happen, Player 2 just might get cut.

That is the reality of what sometimes happens and so, parents should realize that as well.

 

[Rocketech1]

The bottomline is your DD doesn't know why she didn't get playing time until SHE asks the coach what SHE can do to improve. Head coaches make all kinds of decisions that are not obvious to the outsider or even players themselves. The only way to get some insight is for the player to ask.

With that said, when I played Varsity soccer, one of my teammates got very little playing time. His father had a long talk with the head coach and ever since that discussion, the son got a lot more playing time. In the short-term, it "worked" but in the long-term the father's actions sent the wrong message to his kid that if there is an issue, my parents will fix it and that he doesn't have to earn playing time on my own like the other players. I DO NOT recommend the parents get involved in "playing time" discussions after say 12U. And at 12U and younger, the discussion should be around "what are the areas that my DD can improve on" and then DD works extra hard on improving those skills.