Coaching Boundaries

[SoGASoftball]

It doesn't matter ''why'' it crosses a line. The ine can't be defined without somebody saying, "OK, but how is that different than that?" Infinite debate. What matters is whether it crosses a line. That line is drawn by the parents on a particular team.

We can assume that parents do want and expect the coach to address behavioral issues. You don't allow players to throw their helmets in the dugout, or have their jerseys not tucked in. You can assume parents will endorse that.

Do you tell players they can't drink soda at tournaments? When you start telling them what to eat and drink, that pushes the envelope a little bit, but parents might go along. Do you have Christian prayer circles? Chances are somebody would prefer that you not, but most will not object too much. Do you discuss a player's weight with her? ''You need to lose 20 pounds because it reflects poorly on our team and affects your performance.'' Now, you're probably going to get some push back. Do you ask a player to leave because she's gay and you believe that's immoral?

We could debate all day about ''why'' something is or is not appropriate, but it all comes back to what your parents are wanting and expecting. The OP isn't sure what his parents expect, so he polled the DFP Forum to help him predict their response. Better yet, he could poll his own parents. They are the constituents. And if the coach still believes strongly enough in an unpopular opinion, the coach may take a stand and make his case. But ultimately, the coach answers to the parents. This thread seems to suggest that most parents are not asking for that particular intervention. For any particular team, the answer might be different.

Not at all true. Go back and read the OP. I polled to ask how it could be addressed, and so far Riseball (and Sparky) is about the only one to offer any such advice. I never really cared who agreed but was simply looking for some advice as to how to possibly handle it since it is not the image we want for our players or the organization. You have your goals for why you coach and why you have your kids participate. I have mine. FWIW, I would love to meet the kids parents, but they've never even been to a practice or a meeting.

 

[SoGASoftball]

I didn't read the closed thread. But after reading this one, everyone is making the issue bigger than it is. As a coach if I had a player show up with a "neck bruise" and it was causing issues with the other other girls the solution is simple. The conversation would go something like this.

ME: "Suzy, the mark on you neck needs to be cover up. Please go to the Med Kit and get a bandage large enough to cover it. If you need help get one of your teammates to help."

Suzy: "Yes Coach."

Me: "If it happens again please make sure it's covered before you get to practice."


I am not the moral compass for every player on the team. That job is up to their parents. My job is to run the team. If there is something that I feel as a parent/adult that needs to be addresses I will speak to the parents about it. I will not offer my input unless asked for it by a player.

I like this approach as well. Thanks.

 

[Easton33]

Not at all true. Go back and read the OP. I polled to ask how it could be addressed, and so far Riseball (and Sparky) is about the only one to offer any such advice. I never really cared who agreed but was simply looking for some advice as to how to possibly handle it since it is not the image we want for our players or the organization. You have your goals for why you coach and why you have your kids participate. I have mine. FWIW, I would love to meet the kids parents, but they've never even been to a practice or a meeting.

Not to be the thread police here but I am pretty sure I am OP and I posed a different question involving the same topic and asked for opinions and discussion.

 

[SoGASoftball]

Not to be the thread police here but I am pretty sure I am OP and I posed a different question involving the same topic and asked for opinions and discussion.

I assumed he was talking about the OP of the locked thread. My bad.

 

[Momo'sDad]

It goes without saying, but I just wanted to thank everyone for such a civil debate about a very sensitive subject that's close to so many of us.

 

[CoogansBluff]

I assumed he was talking about the OP of the locked thread. My bad.

I was, and you are right to correct me. More proof that eye-witness accounts are not very reliable.

I would quibble, though, with the belief that only two posters answered your question. I believe that ''do not address it at all'' is an option.

 

[CoogansBluff]

They [grades] are when you have older girls who are trying to get recruited.

Agreed. Then it is a softball issue.

Key criterion - Is it about softball? It's not always black and white. But the job of a travel coach is softball.

 

[Easton33]

Agreed. Then it is a softball issue.

Key criterion - Is it about softball? It's not always black and white. But the job of a travel coach is softball.

The job of being a softball coach travel or not is to mentor young athletes while teaching them the game. If not, then maybe you should expect more from your coaches. Some parents prefer the coaches that go out and hammered on away tournaments, some like a more conservative role model. Your narrow definition of what a coach does is fine with me, however do not encompass all coaches because there are others that think there is more to it and require more of a role model. In life they will have to tolerate people with different views and opinions and will have to learn to live in that world. Should they be learning earlier?
When is the last time you saw a 30 year old woman with a hickey? Is it because they are not getting "business" or because they have learned their lessons about public appearance and perception? Where did they learn that lesson from? Does it matter?

 

[CoogansBluff]

Role model, yes. I expressed something similar in another post. I want a coach who cares about his players, treats the game and people with respect.

Define mentor.

 

[CoogansBluff]

In life they will have to tolerate people with different views and opinions and will have to learn to live in that world. Should they be learning earlier?

Not sure what you mean by this.