Let me preface this post with, yes this is my first post. I have been lurking here for over a year, just registered today. I never posted for a number of reasons, mainly because someone else usually posted my thought before I had a chance or I would hit cancel because I didn't want to sound like a know it all, which my wife will tell you I do sometimes.
I coach a 12A travel team. This is my second go round coaching. My last team I took from 12s through 18 Gold. That team had 9 girls play college softball, 1 at a top 10 program. I was lucky and blessed to have that group and thought that was it as a coach, can't get any better, so why continue. I took two years off, and my wife said I had turned into a grump because I wasn't on a softball field 5 days a week. So here I am starting all over with a new team.
I had something happen today that I had never experienced through fast pitch before. One of my parents passed away this morning after a long battle with cancer. I can barely type those words without breaking down. I had only talked to the man maybe 5 times in the last 8 months since I put together the team. But for some reason he had an impact on me. The first two times we talked, it was when I at first didn't offer his daughter a position on the team because she told me no, or I can't, or something along those lines at her tryout. She also isn't the most gifted athlete, and probably not an A level player. I called him and told him I wasn't offering his daughter, but I knew a good coach at a B level that would be a good fit. He took the name and number, said thank you, I was the first coach to call and explain when I turned his daughter down and he appreciated that gesture. But for some reason I kept thinking about her, and one of the coaches of an older team in the organization happened to tell me that this player had played with his daughter a couple of years ago when one was a first year 10 and the other was a second year 10. He said, she is a very smart player, will work hard, and the family is fantastic.
I went on, filled out my team with a core of 10 and was holding 1 position open for another catcher. But I still couldn't forget this other player I had turned down for some reason. A month later, I talk to my assistants, and decide, lets go offer this other player and if we find a second catcher we will just go with 12 and deal with it. I call talk to this parent again, say, I have changed my mind and heard some great things about his daughter and family and would like to offer after all. Mind you this was a month after I had turned her down. He said, it just so happens he had gotten an email the day before that the team she had joined (not the one I recommended) had fallen apart. He said he would talk to his daughter and call me back. They called back about 5 minutes later and accepted my offer, then he picked up the phone by himself and told me that he had heard really nice things about me, and hoped that they were true for his daughter's and the team's sake and left it at that. I didn't know what his health situation was at the time. That was the first time I had ever gone back and offered a player a spot after turning them down.
So we play some early fall tournaments and are struggling but competing as most new teams do. This player was really struggling with the bat, but was a rock star in the field, and in practice. I learned real quick that I never had to worry about this player giving her all, or having her head in practice or a game. I never picked up a second catcher, either, but one of my SS volunteered to learn the position and catch a game or two a weekend to take some pressure off of our number 1 catcher.
The next time I talked to him, is when I found out he was in a desperate battle with cancer. He came to our last fall tournament as a team and I got to meet him face to face. He was 48 years young and looked like he was 90. He had to walk with a walker due to two broken hips in the last year because of the radiation treatments. We had to get special permission from the tournament director to park the family van inside the facility so he could watch his daughter and the team play. We had a very brief conversation, he told me he was an ex-player (catcher in D1) and ex-coach at the college level. He gave it up to raise his family and took a corporate job until he became ill. He was complementary to me. I had the players come and sit around the van so he could share some wisdom and coaching from his perspective. We won that tournament.
The last time I saw him was at a tournament in which we threw together a mixed team (that included his daughter) and played in late fall. He got to come to the park and watch 1 game. Again he complemented me, but this time he told me that coaching is a gift, treat it as such and even when some parent or administrator is yelling at you about playing time or budget or won/loss record or whatever, that is when you have to remind yourself it is about the kids you are influencing, not your ego. It is ok to push the players and make them better, but it is not ok to push them because of you, the coach.
The last time I communicated with him was through email. It was in January after a practice. He emailed me and kind of scolded me because I made my catchers do duck walks. He said that making catchers do duck walks is a punishment, not a builder of the player. It gives them shin splints and is hard on their knees. To be honest, it was the first time I had had a catcher do a duck walk in probably 10 yrs, but for some reason I had them do duck walks at one practice as part of their conditioning. Needless to say I thanked him, and I haven't since and never will have a catcher do another duck walk. I have no idea how he knew I had the catchers do duck walks since I work the catchers out 30 minutes prior to the rest of the team getting to practice and his daughter isn't a catcher. But he knew. I have totally revamped our conditioning for the entire team based on that one email.
He passed away this morning and left a wife, a 12 year old daughter and a 9 year old son. I can't imagine what they are going through right now. I hope they know that they are loved.
I coach a 12A travel team. This is my second go round coaching. My last team I took from 12s through 18 Gold. That team had 9 girls play college softball, 1 at a top 10 program. I was lucky and blessed to have that group and thought that was it as a coach, can't get any better, so why continue. I took two years off, and my wife said I had turned into a grump because I wasn't on a softball field 5 days a week. So here I am starting all over with a new team.
I had something happen today that I had never experienced through fast pitch before. One of my parents passed away this morning after a long battle with cancer. I can barely type those words without breaking down. I had only talked to the man maybe 5 times in the last 8 months since I put together the team. But for some reason he had an impact on me. The first two times we talked, it was when I at first didn't offer his daughter a position on the team because she told me no, or I can't, or something along those lines at her tryout. She also isn't the most gifted athlete, and probably not an A level player. I called him and told him I wasn't offering his daughter, but I knew a good coach at a B level that would be a good fit. He took the name and number, said thank you, I was the first coach to call and explain when I turned his daughter down and he appreciated that gesture. But for some reason I kept thinking about her, and one of the coaches of an older team in the organization happened to tell me that this player had played with his daughter a couple of years ago when one was a first year 10 and the other was a second year 10. He said, she is a very smart player, will work hard, and the family is fantastic.
I went on, filled out my team with a core of 10 and was holding 1 position open for another catcher. But I still couldn't forget this other player I had turned down for some reason. A month later, I talk to my assistants, and decide, lets go offer this other player and if we find a second catcher we will just go with 12 and deal with it. I call talk to this parent again, say, I have changed my mind and heard some great things about his daughter and family and would like to offer after all. Mind you this was a month after I had turned her down. He said, it just so happens he had gotten an email the day before that the team she had joined (not the one I recommended) had fallen apart. He said he would talk to his daughter and call me back. They called back about 5 minutes later and accepted my offer, then he picked up the phone by himself and told me that he had heard really nice things about me, and hoped that they were true for his daughter's and the team's sake and left it at that. I didn't know what his health situation was at the time. That was the first time I had ever gone back and offered a player a spot after turning them down.
So we play some early fall tournaments and are struggling but competing as most new teams do. This player was really struggling with the bat, but was a rock star in the field, and in practice. I learned real quick that I never had to worry about this player giving her all, or having her head in practice or a game. I never picked up a second catcher, either, but one of my SS volunteered to learn the position and catch a game or two a weekend to take some pressure off of our number 1 catcher.
The next time I talked to him, is when I found out he was in a desperate battle with cancer. He came to our last fall tournament as a team and I got to meet him face to face. He was 48 years young and looked like he was 90. He had to walk with a walker due to two broken hips in the last year because of the radiation treatments. We had to get special permission from the tournament director to park the family van inside the facility so he could watch his daughter and the team play. We had a very brief conversation, he told me he was an ex-player (catcher in D1) and ex-coach at the college level. He gave it up to raise his family and took a corporate job until he became ill. He was complementary to me. I had the players come and sit around the van so he could share some wisdom and coaching from his perspective. We won that tournament.
The last time I saw him was at a tournament in which we threw together a mixed team (that included his daughter) and played in late fall. He got to come to the park and watch 1 game. Again he complemented me, but this time he told me that coaching is a gift, treat it as such and even when some parent or administrator is yelling at you about playing time or budget or won/loss record or whatever, that is when you have to remind yourself it is about the kids you are influencing, not your ego. It is ok to push the players and make them better, but it is not ok to push them because of you, the coach.
The last time I communicated with him was through email. It was in January after a practice. He emailed me and kind of scolded me because I made my catchers do duck walks. He said that making catchers do duck walks is a punishment, not a builder of the player. It gives them shin splints and is hard on their knees. To be honest, it was the first time I had had a catcher do a duck walk in probably 10 yrs, but for some reason I had them do duck walks at one practice as part of their conditioning. Needless to say I thanked him, and I haven't since and never will have a catcher do another duck walk. I have no idea how he knew I had the catchers do duck walks since I work the catchers out 30 minutes prior to the rest of the team getting to practice and his daughter isn't a catcher. But he knew. I have totally revamped our conditioning for the entire team based on that one email.
He passed away this morning and left a wife, a 12 year old daughter and a 9 year old son. I can't imagine what they are going through right now. I hope they know that they are loved.
