Numbers and Solutions

gdc03120 · Dec 7, 2016

chinamigarden said:
At this point I would give the girl who is returning after taking a year off and give her a list of available numbers and tell her it's time to either pick a new number or move on.

That's basically what I've told her. The numbers for the returning players are 1, 7, 8, 11, 13, 14, 21, and 28. She'd basically have her choice of anything else. But #11 is THE number over which she's throwing a fit for all the reasons I've said before. It's a NUMBER. I'll put damn Roman numerals on for all I care. It's not that difficult to choose. Like others have said, they don't care about the number, they care about the name/organization. -_-

gdc03120 · Dec 7, 2016

MNDad said:
Why not tell her now? With such a small team you're creating a situation where you're forced to give in to her. You need to know asap if you should find a starting SS. It's not fair to all the other girls for you to wait and possibly end up not having enough players because you chose to cater to one girl.

a.) No other girls know of the situation unless this girl has said anything, and I'm 100% sure she hasn't because she's not the "open" type, per se. Not the type to go telling people her problems for sympathy.
b.) I feel I've essentially done that. She's been given her options - one was mine, one was from someone on the board (that I haven't presented to her yet) and don't plan to until April or so.

I don't really "need" to find a starting SS as much as it would just open up an opportunity for another current player to either play there OR another player to join and play. I feel rather confident I'll have enough to play even if I have many new players (this is a 16U team, so they'd be 13 year olds, etc.) that I can mold into great athletes. The last thing I'll do is cave into an athlete's demands out of pettiness and spite. If she wants to play, she will play by TEAM RULES, not "D"'s rules. I'm not catering to her. It's not as if this is a restaurant where if I don't like the menu, they make what I want. Here, you order off the menu or you don't eat here and I can find other customers.

Sparky Guy · Dec 7, 2016

The last thing I'll do is cave into an athlete's demands out of pettiness and spite. If she wants to play, she will play by TEAM RULES, not "D"'s rules. I'm not catering to her.

You stated you're long-time friends with her father and he's involved with youth sports. What does he have to say about it? Has he spoken to her about it that you know of?

From the interactions with her you've posted I get the impression you think she's a diva and possibly trouble in the future. If those are really your gut feelings towards the girl then you'd be better off following them and telling her "Thanks, but no thanks." You'll be saving the team and yourself a monstrous amount of trouble in the future.+

Sparky Guy · Dec 7, 2016

That girl would have some real issues in the organization I coach in. They have multiple teams at all the age levels. None of the players on any of the teams can have the same number. They sometimes move players to other teams when uncommitted players need to attend certain showcases with other teams. Saves on the number swapping headaches. The girl just shows up and plays.

gdc03120 · Dec 7, 2016

Sparky Guy said:
You stated you're long-time friends with her father and he's involved with youth sports. What does he have to say about it? Has he spoken to her about it that you know of?

Have not discussed it with him (yet). I know in past conversations that involve her and my team, we tend to think along the same lines - for example. I brought up the idea to "D" of coming back out to play before the season started. Told her straight out, "It's Monday, I want an answer yes or no by Thursday." Her dad told me, "I'm going to bed she'll say no because she wants to do summer basketball and FH camp, but in her gut she will say later she wanted to play." Thursday came, she said no, and 2 weeks later she's at one of my games watching. Then a few days later tells me, "I should've told you yes, 'cause FH and basketball aren't doing what I need for me." I also haven't told him because I don't want him to turn around and bring it up to her, because that'll start a vicious cycle I don't need to deal with.

Here's my honest feelings about this player (mostly repeats of what I've said before): On the field, she's a fantastic defensive SS. At the plate she's a solid 0.400-0.500 hitter, good for plenty of 1B and 2B hits and RBIs. I've known her since she's about 9 or so and I've seen her evolve through the game. She's ALWAYS had a very unique attitude that can change like the weather. I'm not sure of exactly why and attributing it to typical female hormones/puberty/etc. is not justified. IF (big if) she has no sort of mental distractions (like this issue) and her focus is on her game/ability, there are very few I'd rather have in my lineup that can do what she does. IF her mind is not focused, it's one error and the ride gets shut down. I've seen both ends of that spectrum. I'm willing to take my chances. However, SHE has to come to me with her choice in the matter - SHE needs to step up and realize the team is above her and go from there. Otherwise it'll leave a big impact in the eyes of many people just where her true colors run as far as my say goes.

YOCOACH · Dec 7, 2016

gdc03120 said:
Have not discussed it with him (yet). I know in past conversations that involve her and my team, we tend to think along the same lines - for example. I brought up the idea to "D" of coming back out to play before the season started. Told her straight out, "It's Monday, I want an answer yes or no by Thursday." Her dad told me, "I'm going to bed she'll say no because she wants to do summer basketball and FH camp, but in her gut she will say later she wanted to play." Thursday came, she said no, and 2 weeks later she's at one of my games watching. Then a few days later tells me, "I should've told you yes, 'cause FH and basketball aren't doing what I need for me." I also haven't told him because I don't want him to turn around and bring it up to her, because that'll start a vicious cycle I don't need to deal with.

Here's my honest feelings about this player (mostly repeats of what I've said before): On the field, she's a fantastic defensive SS. At the plate she's a solid 0.400-0.500 hitter, good for plenty of 1B and 2B hits and RBIs. I've known her since she's about 9 or so and I've seen her evolve through the game. She's ALWAYS had a very unique attitude that can change like the weather. I'm not sure of exactly why and attributing it to typical female hormones/puberty/etc. is not justified. IF (big if) she has no sort of mental distractions (like this issue) and her focus is on her game/ability, there are very few I'd rather have in my lineup that can do what she does. IF her mind is not focused, it's one error and the ride gets shut down. I've seen both ends of that spectrum. I'm willing to take my chances. However, SHE has to come to me with her choice in the matter - SHE needs to step up and realize the team is above her and go from there. Otherwise it'll leave a big impact in the eyes of many people just where her true colors run as far as my say goes.

After reading all of your posts, I have to say one thing. No way in hell would she be on my team. I don't need, nor want, the drama associated with her. If you are willing to put up with that BS, may God bless you. OTOH, I've seen too many teams destroyed by this kind of Diva-like behavior for me to jeopardize mine which is why I'd be saying Buh-Bye! I'd rather have an 0-56 season in tournament play than deal with this kind of cr@p. All I can say is good luck in whatever happens.

Sparky Guy · Dec 8, 2016

She's ALWAYS had a very unique attitude that can change like the weather. I'm not sure of exactly why and attributing it to typical female hormones/puberty/etc. is not justified. IF (big if) she has no sort of mental distractions (like this issue) and her focus is on her game/ability, there are very few I'd rather have in my lineup that can do what she does. IF her mind is not focused, it's one error and the ride gets shut down. I've seen both ends of that spectrum. I'm willing to take my chances.

I'm in the same corner as YOCOACH. Stay far away from this girl. I had a player who acted very close to what you describe. She was ultra talented on the field. She was a nightmare off the field and in the dugout. She ended up quitting near the end of the fall season to go to a "better" team.

When the girls told me some of the things she'd say in the dugout and some of the things she was doing I knew it was the best thing for the team for her to be gone. It was addition by subtraction. After that we had a great year as a team with a bunch of really great kids and parents.

MNDad · Dec 8, 2016

YOCOACH said:
After reading all of your posts, I have to say one thing. No way in hell would she be on my team. I don't need, nor want, the drama associated with her. If you are willing to put up with that BS, may God bless you. OTOH, I've seen too many teams destroyed by this kind of Diva-like behavior for me to jeopardize mine which is why I'd be saying Buh-Bye! I'd rather have an 0-56 season in tournament play than deal with this kind of cr@p. All I can say is good luck in whatever happens.

I've noticed a theme in all of the posts too. He's very firm that he's not going to put up with this kind of behavior, then makes excuses about what a great kid she is and he's going to wait until the last minute before he does anything about it. I predict she'll be on the team with #11.

YOCOACH · Dec 8, 2016

MNDad said:
I've noticed a theme in all of the posts too. He's very firm that he's not going to put up with this kind of behavior, then makes excuses about what a great kid she is and he's going to wait until the last minute before he does anything about it. I predict she'll be on the team with #11.

Maybe not...he may tell her to get lost just to prove you wrong!

gdc03120 · Dec 8, 2016

MNDad said:
He's very firm that he's not going to put up with this kind of behavior, then makes excuses about what a great kid she is and he's going to wait until the last minute before he does anything about it.

a.) I can say that someone is a good person while simultaneously disagreeing with something they do improperly and not condoning their actions. They are not necessarily mutually exclusive. I can say someone I know is a great guy while disapproving of a gambling problem or how he treats his neighbors or negative actions of the like.
b.) I'm also "not waiting until the last minute". The league's games do not begin until the last week of June, and I do tryouts the 2nd weekend of April. I have over 3 months' worth of two-a-week practices. I wouldn't consider this "last night" at all.

The only way she's getting her #11 is through a buyout of the other player, and I feel very certain that won't happen. She knows her options, and that's that. If she doesn't like it, I make a new SS with the players I currently have or I get one through players I try out. Simple as that.

EDIT: This player (and any other players) have been told my decisions are made with ZERO biases. I have girls from three communities that try out for me, and my decisions are strictly based on their tryout performances - nothing to do with who I've known how long (I've known "D" longer than any of the other girls on this team), or where they go to school, etc. If that p*sses someone off, obviously they're not cut out for my team.

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